Modern 50's Housewife

April 6, 2018

WEARING: CHICWISH DENIM PENCIL SKIRT | FOREVER 21 BLOUSE | NA-KD LEATHER JACKET | 
ODETTE & ODILE WHITE SUNNIES | NINE WEST LOAFERS | STEVE MADDEN TIGHTS | 
PAUL'S BOUTIQUE LONDON MIKA SHOULDER BAG | UO BLACK BANDANA

THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY CHICWISH & PAUL'S BOUTIQUE LONDON.

Hey, everyone! I'm sorry I've been MIA on the blog this week. Sometimes life takes a toll and you just gotta deal with it. After a week from hell with both work and personal struggles, I have come to the notion that when it rains, it freaking pours. I decided to not over-do it and to take it a bit more easy this week, hence only posting twice on MaQ + Suz. Luckily it's been a rather slower week and I didn't have as many deadlines as I normally do, so I guess there's the silver lining in that. In today's post, I'm digging into more about the recent struggles I face as someone who is in the creative field, and why I'm a bit concerned about where it is all headed. It's like this outfit - everyone being modernized, 'updated', renovated, etc; and yet in terms of politics, sociological aspects and more, we're still living back in the damn 50's. Even in this digital world. Continue reading for more on what I'm talking about along with where to shop this 'Modern 50's Housewife' look.

A couple of weeks ago I filmed a campaign with Innisfree, the #1 beauty brand in Korea and now available in the U.S., talking about beauty care, our environment, this upcoming earth day and just a couple things #IGiveASheet about - click here to watch more. Reasons I bring this up, (aside from shameless promoting) is because I am grateful for all the opportunities that I've been given. I have never imagined I'd even get this far in my career. I work hard, am professional, and just want what everyone else wants: To be happy and to be able to do what I love, which is to create. But the constant changes in the digital world is making my head spin on top of other things going on in my life. I'm tired of hearing about how everything is changing for the better and that the new economy is the only way for this better change. I have friends moving along in life having babies, job promotions, glorious vacations, and I'm still slaving away day-and-night just to catch one little break. I'm willing to sacrifice life choices over my love for what I do. I don't need the money or fame - it's about the acknowledgment of someone's time and effort in their work along with their character. The reason I create is to inspire you - to make you think, feel, and change your mind and heart about many things.

Whenever I get into a creative rut, I always go back to the same question. "Why did you start in the first place?" The answer, which to my dismay from several other bloggers within the community answering as such: Money, power, and/or fame has never been mine. Would it be nice to live more comfortably and not stress out every day about finances and such? Absolutely. But it makes things more difficult when more and more brands/companies aren't willing to fairly compensate you for your time, energy and work. Even global brands (which yes, they have the budget) will come back and say they don't and the only compensation they can offer is in exchange for products. (The new exchange in commerce.) I even had one collab offer this week where the brand wanted me to travel and pay out of my own pocket (on top of the collab being non-paid.) We're talking over 3 hours of commuting, not a subway ride away. I graciously turned it down. Now don't get me wrong. I'm thankful for every opportunity I receive, but when it comes down to real-life... it certainly won't pay all the bills. I can only sell so much product and for a fraction of the original price. Or a brand will want a test-run to 'see how things go' before moving forward. This is understandable. You want to know what you're getting yourself into and if you're going to be a match. But it should be about working towards something and not instantly getting what you want and then bowing out.

Should brands/companies be paying for numbers of followers, likes, etc; or for the quality of the work? I'd say both, but I'm more of a believer in quality over quantity. For example, which is often the case, every concept creatively is refurbished, recycled, yadda yadda yadda, so nothing is ever really fresh and new anymore. (In the grand scheme of things.) A company may feel that because of this, it's more important to gravitate towards the numbers because that's where the consumers are at. Wrong. A micro-blogger can reach specific demographics other big names cannot. But... if it's content they've seen before (and they have half a brain and actually read a book once or twice in their life) you won't get a bite and they'll just keep scrolling. NOW, I'm certainly not saying I've never been inspired by past photo shoots, art and such, but I have never tried to replicate anyone's work. To me, it's downright insulting and really shows your lack of creativity. Be original. Think outside the box. We should be trying to break through barriers, not stay confined in them. And then when you fall into a creative funk, knowing that you're not satisfied with the quality of your work (yes, I'm extremely hard on myself and therefore nothing is ever good enough), it makes the struggle all the more challenging. Some days I think all of this is rubbish and then the next I think I'm actually doing something meaningful in the content that I work so tirelessly for.

I took some time to think about what I wanted to write today because I was self-conscious at first. I thought, what if a brand or company reads this and then thinks of me differently? I need to stop caring about what other people think because quite frankly they don't! And second, why would I want to work with someone who after reading this post, and because of it judging me in a bad light? Same goes for colleagues, friends, and then some. I don't want to be working with anyone like that, let alone be associated with them. We all deserve to be collaborating with those that not only appreciate your efforts but also wants to build something together because you both believe in something, whether it's a concept or personal growth or both, it should be with love and positivity and support. Not ways of jumping through hoops in hopes of climbing up that ladder a bit faster than others. Why can't we remember that it's not the destination in life, but the journey? Name a legend or icon that became instantly famous and remained that way. NONE. They worked for years before a big break. And the blogging world is incredibly tough. It's competitive, cut-throat and downright stressful with all the job 'descriptions' of what we do that comes with. I write, produce, edit, shoot, film, meet and greet, brand, travel, forget to eat, sleep, and take care of myself, all the while trying to maintain some sort of balance in my personal life as well. It's easy to say you want to grow authentically, but with the surmounting pressures in the industry, the difficulty to act is not the same.

I'd rather authentically grow at a slower pace instead of sneakily participating in what are now, 'hidden giveaways', where bloggers are doing these giveaways under the radar where no one can see them (in secret groups and such) where they used to blatantly put loop giveaways into their feeds to instantly gain more followers because of the contest of winning free items (you know, a MacBook, an iPhone, etc; my eyes are rolling and are in pain at the same time just typing this) -what a crock of SH*T. (Don't even get me started on buying followers, likes and comments {and more}) That's why you see 'influencers' going from 20k to 40-50k overnight. It has nothing to do with the content they produce. It's all about the free goodies they're presenting to the world. And what's sadder? They lose nearly all of them once the giveaway is over. Oh, did I mention that in order to participate in the giveaway you have to BUY your way in? And I'm talking two to five hundred dollars, all for a few thousand instant followers. See my point here? And this is only one of the many scary examples as to why I'm frustrated with the business I'm in. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for giving back and have conducted some giveaways here and there, but then I remember what my main goal is for MaQ + Suz and it's certainly not giving away free crap just to gain a bigger audience. Also... if you call yourself an 'influencer', you're probably not an influencer at all. #sorrynotsorry

My message is simple. I only work with those that believe and appreciate my work. Otherwise, I walk. Life's too short and if it's a gig that you think will compromise with your brand, just don't do it. I consider my blog my first-born child (aside from the furbaby MaQ), so whatever I feed/nourish it, that'll be the outcome as well. So take care of your baby. Take care of it every with all your might. And hold value into what you present to the world, whether it's yourself or your work, what you project will also be what the universe throws back to you. I hope you found some insight from this post and can relate to my struggles. We all go through it and even though it is my job to make everything look aesthetically beautiful, life is not this way and I believe interjecting real thoughts & reflections keeps my work honest and true. Leave your thoughts on this post down in the comment section below! I always love hearing from you guys! Thanks for the extra love lately, too. You're all too kind! Have a wonderful weekend. Catch up again soon.

LOVE & XX'S,

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Cosmopolitan: Let's Talk About It Event

June 25, 2017

WEARING: NATIVE YOUTH RUST HIGH NECK BLOCK JERSEY SWEATER | 
MARSHALL FIELD'S FAUX CROC SATCHEL BAG | ALDO BUGIANO STUDDED ANKLE BOOTIES | 
STELLA & DOT GOLD AND BLACK FRINGE NECKLACE | AE CHAMBRAY SHIRT

THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY COSMOPOLITAN, NATIVE YOUTH, AND STELLA & DOT.

"KILL THEM WITH COMPETENCE."

Yesterday's 'Let's Talk About It' event with Cosmopolitan helped others find their voice on topics that some (wrong) people consider taboo for women to talk about and more. Busting taboos around money & power, sex & romance, beauty & image, happiness and more, it was an inspiring, and empowering way to spend a Saturday. Kicking off the morning with 'humming in' with sound therapy practitioner, Sara Auster, and CEO of MNDFL, Ellie Burrows, the entire room suddenly felt like I was surrounded by hundreds of bees near its main nest. It was strange yet communal... zen. Practicing meditation helps one focus on themselves and who they really are. It was a unique opener and a wonderful way to bring us together.

The seminar was welcomed by Editor-in-Chief of Cosmopolitan, Michele Promaulayko, and her first panel of boss women, television personality, host, fashion designer, singer, actress and author of There's No F*cking Secret: Letters From a Badass Bitch, Kelly Osbourne, acclaimed TV journalist, woman's empowerment advocate and author of the upcoming book, Be Fierce: Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back, Gretchen Carlson, and CEO of, The Pink Ceiling, and the woman behind the 'female viagra', Addyi, Cindy Whitehead.

Self-acceptance, struggles in the workforce and yes, sex, was among some of the general topics discussed in the opening panel. I think my favorite moment from that panel was Kelly Osbourne's story about being bullied as a kid. At first, she confided in her mother, Sharon, and told her to go back to school the following day and tell the girls that were picking on her that if they didn't stop, she'd have her father bite their heads off. LMAO. But when that didn't work, she then went to her father, Ozzy. And surprisingly enough, his advice was to basically tattletale on them. He told her to tell the girls they had one last chance to do right and if they didn't stop, she would report them. And sending that kind of message to your daughter, that your voice is the most powerful force within you, is such an important lesson to learn, let alone acquire.

The second segment focused on money, power & work. The panel included Director of Editorial and Business Development of Cosmopolitan & Seventeen, Laura Brounstein, journalist & author of, Feminist Fight Club, Jessica Bennett, and women's leadership expert, Chief Leadership Officer for LEVO & author of, Drop the Ball, Tiffany Dufu. Heavy talks of the balance between your work life and personal life were extremely central to everyone, along with great tips for it. For example, Tiffany Dufu, said people respond to authenticity. “Embrace the imperfection,” she said. “Do what you need to do in order to be the kind of leader that people will resonate with." And I think this applies to everywhere in life, not just on Instagram. 9/10 times I want to work with someone because they're real with me, not because they're putting up a front that they're perfect. Because no one is that.

When Jessica Bennett was first starting her career, she felt uneasy about self-promotion. Her male co-workers, however, had no trouble shamelessly doing so — and got all the credit and raises. Then she and her friend came up with a strategy and became each other’s “boast bitches.” “When I did something good, she would send a mass email to all of our editors, being like, ‘Did you see this great thing that Jess did? It was really amazing!’ And I would do the same for her.” No good deed goes unpunished? Not in this case. It's selfless, they're both supporting one another and at the same time feeling good doing it and feeling good about themselves. And they finally got the credit they deserved.

Another favorite segment was the sex talk with Digital Special Projects Director for Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, & Redbook, Elisa Benson, actor & host of his own hit podcast, The Love Bomb, Nico Tortorella, and founder & host of the Sex with Emily podcast, Dr. Emily Morse. Dr. Morse encouraged women to talk about what they need from their partners in the bedroom but to not talk about it in the bedroom. Rather in a more relaxed setting, like at brunch, or over coffee. "Make it more casual," she said. "You just kind of throw it out there, not like a we need to talk." Another tip? Do it in the car or on the subway. It's a place where you can talk about awkward issues without making eye contact. And reinforce, reinforce, reinforce! It goes a long way, especially before giving some feedback that might not exactly be A+.

After lunch, there was a dance-off with the founder & creator of DanceBody, Katia Pryce, where she had the entire room gyrating together in a full circle. It was yet another great way to bring everyone together and to prepare everybody for what's next, which was the part where we all sat around each other in the same circle and went around telling the room what our current ambitions were. Many wanted love, happiness and more. Better jobs, bigger houses, more time with their loved ones... and I have to admit, when it comes down to it, we really all want the same things in life. To love and be loved in return, to find joy in the bittersweetness of life; to belong to something, to be accepted and appreciated. To have much purpose and to fulfill your dreams. To just be at peace.

And the Cosmopolitan conference did just that for me and helped me recognize what really matters and what doesn't. What's your current ambition? To answer mine, I would honestly say that I am striving to be a better wife and mommy to my fur child because, with the crazy amount of work I've been doing in the past year, the amount of time I have with them is really scarce. Sure, I work with my husband constantly, but that doesn't count for quality time. And my pup has been missing me being home and spending time with him. So I'm definitely working on that challenging balance in life as well. This event also reminded me how powerful our voices really can be. I think if we can continue to spread the gift of courage, in that the more we speak up about things we shouldn't necessarily talk about or are subject to taboo, the more we will all see that it can help and inspire others to break free from their silence. Thanks for stopping by and reading about my Cosmopolitan adventures! Don't forget to comment your ambitions down below!