Summertime Melancholy

August 3, 2020

WEARING: CRISSCROSS TIE BACK SHIRRED WAIST CROP TOP | FOLD PLEAT WIDE LEG PANTS

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY SHEIN BUT ALL OPINIONS ARE MY OWN.

All dressed up with nowhere to go! Sounds about right these days… but I have definitely been enjoying these ‘studio sessions’ of self-portraits at home. It’s not the same as street style photographs, where somewhere like NYC, there’s a million and one locations to go shoot at. But just at home? It’s like a blank canvas and not much noise in the background. My style has evolved into something more minimal and I’ve been loving how I incorporate that into the styled image. So in today’s post, I’m sharing a small series I did over the weekend wearing my new favorite matching set. The dusty purple color has me swooning, along with the quality and fit of the pleat wide leg pants and crisscross crock top. It is quite simple, yet understatedly chic. Just the way I like it. And the price is nice. Less than $40 for the set. Would be cute to mix and match, such as wearing the halter top with jeans or the trousers with a different colored top. You can shop the look throughout this post. Wishing you a lovely and safe week! See you soon, friends. x

LOVE & XX’S,

SHOP THE LOOK

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The House of the Angel

September 11, 2017

THE HOUSE OF THE ANGEL

photographer SUZANNE SPIEGOSKI

stylist SUZANNE SPIEGOSKI

hair STACEY PALANCIA

makeup STACEY PALANCIA

model HANJING (ANGEL) ZHENG

Clothing credits

Look 1 Sarah Swann Two-Piece Track Suit

Look 2 deux A White Shirt Dress

Look 3 & 4 Layana Aguilar Black Dress // LELET NY Butterfly Necklace

Look 5 & 6 Floriane Fosso Winter Shearling Coat // LELET NY Silver Earrings & Bobbies

Look 7 Sarah Swann Detachable Green Fur Hood

Look 8 Sarah Swann Grey Marl Coat

Look 9 Forever 21 Burgundy Dress // LELET NY Poppies Wide Headband

Look 10 deux A White Shirt Dress (Styled differently from Look 2)

LOVE & XX'S,

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Monstera Deliciosa

August 31, 2016

MONSTERA DELICIOSA, SELF-PORTRAIT SERIES, AUGUST 30TH, 2016.

PHOTOS BY: © Suzanne Spiegoski

When it comes to my work in self-portraiture I rarely if ever photograph myself in the nude, let alone publicly show any of the photographs. Self-portraits are not easy to do, in fact, it's the most challenging subject I have ever had. Well, so far... we'll see if that'll ever change. ;) But the more involved I become in the torrid affair that is - one with the camera, the more open I am in the relationship. When I first started 'dating' the camera, I was always so anxious to start clicking away. Now, don't get me wrong. I still get that feeling to this day. But there's a more calm formality to it now. With time and effort, a shitload of patience, and experience, I've learned quite a bit. But that shouldn't stop there. Never stop learning.

This past year has been all about taking risks, good and bad, perhaps even downright ugly when I come to think of it. But the more chances I've taken, the more rewards I've been given. Does it have anything to do with money? No. Vanity purposes? Not at all. To me, self-portraiture is all about the relationship you have with yourself and with the camera. To know oneself is to know many, in my belief. What better way to know how to photograph anyone or anything? No, not every photographer does self-portraits, and they shouldn't have to nor need to be a good photographer, but it's a wonderful path to self-discovery and in my opinion, one of the best forms of self-expression. Being first and foremost a writer, there are sometimes feelings... stories... concepts that I cannot put down in words. With photography being my other medium, it aids me in releasing vulnerabilities I didn't even know were there. 'A picture is worth a thousand words', and sometimes the image of a subject can convey its meaning or essence more effectively than a description does. I get the best of both worlds as someone in the arts. I'm very fortunate to be able to do what I do. And I never forget it.

Lastly, today I had the immense pleasure and honor of interviewing the wonderful Henry Leutwyler at his studio in downtown Manhattan. He is a wonderful photographer with a new book coming out this Fall that'll I'll be writing about on the blog! I can't wait to share my experience with Henry and his amazingly talented work. You are going to be blown away! Just utterly spectacular. I'm so excited about this story! Stay tuned... in the meantime I'm doing another recipe this week and step-by-step video! It's got a ton of avocados by the way..... :)

LOVE & XX'S,

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Océane Chiaroni Interview — A Parisienne in New York

August 16, 2016

A commonality of interests we share: She's known my husband just as long as I have, however, she's known him longer, and yet she is only twenty-four years old. We've both lost a loved one to suicide. We too, are both very much involved in the artist's world. And if we were to be deserted on an island, where we had to choose only one kind of food to survive off of for the rest of our lives, it'd be mashed potatoes. She's not only my goddaughter, but a close personal friend: a part of my chosen family. Her sun sign of the lioness, Océane (Ocean) has a zest for life and a warm spirit, despite enduring hardships most 20-something year olds never have to face.

Born and raised in Paris, Océane grew up rather quickly and in a creative environment. Her mother, a journalist, and her father, an actor; the path to her own discovery of who she wanted to be was an easy one. Very early on in life, she had her heart set on becoming an actress. Her father, who, after she was born, owned a bar in Le Marais - a district in Paris where many famous French humorists of stand up started out, was friends with many of them and were in her childhood home often. Seeing her father act had a great influence on her. At five years old, she was the primary acting coach to her teddy bears and Barbie's while playing with them in her bedroom. She'd help direct them, giving stern but detailed corrections. But even then, she strongly believed in herself. When she performed at her first theater show at eight years old, the feeling beforehand was something she cannot explain. She was not queasy, but the butterflies in her stomach were palpable. The anticipation of performing was more of an exciting, adrenaline-pumping sensation, not a worrisome one. Nothing else in life has given her such hair-raising goosebumps.

And so with her dream, her parents strongly encouraged her to pursue them, adamant in working hard toward your goals. Océane is following her passion. Now a student, for nearly a year, at the Susan Batson Studio in New York City, she is currently working on a number of projects, including a web series, but one piece of her is missing. One of her biggest dreams was to always be able to clown around with her father, forever thick as thieves, and furthermore, maybe even performing in a play or movie together in the future. This hope was shattered when he took his own life over three years ago. Her world suddenly stopped, grieved to the core of her heart. At first, Océane was naturally angry (one of the many stages of grief), with feelings of abandonment and unfairness; a harsh lesson in the cruelties of life at such a tender age. She took time to take it all in, wanting to understand the why's and how's of it, trying to sort through complexities one should never have to sort through. But she refuses to let this stop her from living her life, something I myself find very commendable. Courageous. A freedom message.

Bright beyond her years, she's taken this painful experience and is subsequently making the world more interesting; a better one. I recently had the privilege of watching her perform at the Susan Batson Studio on her current subject: Jean Seberg. And Océane's deep understanding for life and death is clear. A little inside scoop: Jean was a very talented American actress who also happened to commit suicide. The correlations between her different worlds was remarkable. Disturbing at times, where even I was uncomfortable, I was also completely taken aback by her raw talent - pulling emotions out of me I haven't even tried to unravel. And she was capable of doing that from her 5-minute act.

My cousin took his life in 2013. She shared her experience & beliefs with me on such a difficult subject. Ever hear of an old saying as such, "You can drag the horse to the pond, but you can't make him drink the water."? If one is in denial of a problem, no one can help them, not even themselves. No matter what you try. Regardless of what the problem may be, the first step is to admit to the problem and be willing to seek help. Océane did have a friend who confided in her earlier this year with suicidal thoughts. It is with a keen pair of ears and an open heart that will aid in being acknowledged and understood. Spend every chance you can with that person. If you can't be with them, make sure other friends or family members are there. Find a solution. See what they need to get better. If they want to see a doctor, offer your hand and go with them. Be a nurturer, but not an enabler. I admire Océane's strength and openness, especially after everything. The easy way is through denial and self-loathing, falling into the abyss one so easily can fall into, but the hardest is to never give up. To be aware and never stop believing in hope, to live and carry on, no matter what life throws your way. This is passion. This is living. This is love.

If you are in crisis or considering suicide, please go to hopeline.com to chat online now or call 1-800-SUICIDE to talk with someone. Open 24/7. #IMAlive

FUN FACTS

Biggest fear: Being like my Dad.
Biggest pet peeve: People who are judgmental.
Greatest regret: Je ne regrette rien.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: My kindness because sometimes people take advantage of this.
Favorite movie: Pulp Fiction.
Favorite actor(s): John Travolta & Jean Seberg
Favorite place in NYC: The Highline
Favorite place in Paris: Le Marais
Favorite Restaurants: Balzem in New York & L'Arpège in Paris

LOVE & XX'S,

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The Crème de la Crème

July 18, 2016

WEARING: F21 GRAPHIC TEE | HOLLISTER CO. RIPPED DENIM MINI-SKIRT |

VINTAGE BLACK SATIN RIBBON | THE SAVVY HEART NECKLACE | BLACK BANDANA PAISLEY

My intentions today were to delight you in a wonderful new gastronomy recipe, but it was one of those Monday's where some things just didn't work in my favor. Especially this morning. After mistakingly thinking Windfall Farms (where I get edible flowers) was stationed at the Union Square Farmer's market on Monday's, I quickly came to realize they were only there on Wednesdays and Saturdays. So I went with plan B, looking for other gourmet-type of grocery stores (I mean, you can't find anything on the island of Manhattan, right?!) that had available edible flowers. I've been wanting to incorporate them into my dishes not just for taste, but also for styling/plating. I searched through several Whole Foods where at my last one, and my FIFTH store, I called before heading over because of the heat. I thought it was my lucky day! They had a few left and they were going to hold them for me! Win! No. When I arrived to customer service where they had told me to pick up my reserved flowers, the poor woman's face immediately changed when I told her what I was there for. She informed me that the second the guy got off the phone with me and went to go get the flowers to hold them for me, someone had already grabbed them in the store! WHAAAAAAA! I walked over 20 blocks to get them. So I may not have a new recipe for you, but I'm tanner and not getting fatter so there is truth to always staying positive! Ha ha ha!

Since I had such an awesome response from my 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' story, I wanted to share a little more on the subject, like this crème de la crème graphics tee I've had over the years from Forever 21. When it comes to a lot of pieces from my closet, they've been around. Ha! Of course, I love updating staple pieces but I'm a little bit of a secret hoarder! I just can't throw any of my clothes out! I can't even give them away, which I've been doing a lot of this year, in terms of cleaning out my closet (sorry for the Eminem phrase). But I'm like Carrie in the episode where Aidan has moved in and she has to make room for his stuff, which proves to be rather challenging for her. This is exactly me! I just can't bear to part from any of my clothes. Why? I think it's because I get my clothes from all sorts of places and they carry memories and special meanings within them. Like the Hollister Co. ripped denim mini-skirt? I fell hard in 'em with my first love while in college. And while I still wear them because not only do they still fit, but because more importantly, they're a reminder of who I was and who I still am today.

Like most other girls, I've really been into the 90s comeback vibes lately, especially in the last year. I'm all for chokers, platform shoes and gothic emo looks. When I collaborated with The Savvy Heart almost a year ago, I was immediately drawn to their flair & style. They were one of the first brands I worked with when embarking my journey into the world of blogging. The black satin ribbon I'm wearing around my waist as a belt? This is the exact same 'belt' I wore when I married my husband! I love wearing satin, and when I wear this one in particular, I can't help but feel closer to my boo. Wearing it makes me all mushy, but I don't care, I love how I feel wearing it! And that's what really matters when it comes to what you put on.

Coming up this week? Definitely my gastronomy post, recipe included, you know I'm all on it! Wish I could give you a clue, but for this one I'm keeping it a surprise. I also have another anniversary coming up, my very first 'blogversary'! I will be doing a special giveaway, along with a post reflecting from the past year, so keep your eye peeled! Lastly, I'd love to hear some of your shared memories with pieces of clothing in your closets! Comment down below. Thanks for stopping by! We hope everyone has a wonderful, 'cool' week! :)

Photos by: Suzanne Spiegoski (Self-Portrait)