8 Ways to Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

March 13, 2018

WEARING: LUCIE BROCHARD FUSCHIA MEN JACKET | LUCIE BROCHARD WHITE TOP | 
OT LEGGINGS BURGUNDY LEATHER | NAT & NIN GIULIA FRINGE BAG | FRED MARZO BOOTS | 
ACCRUE KANDINSKY SUNNIES

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY KREATEURS.

Happy Tuesday! If you know me by now, you definitely know how hard I can be on myself. It's not the best feature I've acquired through the years, as this, in turn, makes me be hard on those around me as well. I have been through a lot in my life and the way I grew up also affected the way I perceive life sometimes. It can be a roller coaster ride; at times I really feel like I'm on the right track, that I know where I'm at and what I'm supposed to be doing, and then other times I'm curled up into a ball, crying, and wondering what I am doing with my life and that the only explanation is my crazy self. Ah, the sweet cycle of a creative person. So in today's post, I'm sharing my tips on how to not be so hard on yourself - I'm not perfect by any means, but I've been doing a lot of soul-searching and these suggestions have greatly helped me balance it out much more than I have my entire life! Continue reading to learn more from these 8 tips.

1. HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Your mistakes are part of your learning experience. It's okay to fail. We are only, human, after all. What's not okay is to give up. Learn to be resilient in the face of failure. And when presented with an opportunity: Run with it, don't have any kind of expectations! If you do, you're already setting yourself up for disappointment.

2. THE PAST IS NOT YOUR IDENTITY.

Yes, the past usually is filled with heartache and pain, and a plethora of mistakes. We have all gone through the good, bad and yes, the ugly. And though the past will shape you into what you will become, it doesn't dictate your entire YOU. It's not easy to put the past behind, but that's where it's meant to stay. Don't look back, learn from the lessons (they're in everything, just LOOK) and keep on keeping on, but moving forward.

3. LEARN FROM PEOPLE WHO CRITICIZE YOU.

Don't let their critics get you down. That's the easy way out! Let it inspire you to work your ass off. Now it should be constructive criticism and not a case of bashing/bullying/doesn't know what the hell they're talking about, and instead of shutting out any form of feedback, learn to take it with a grain of salt. Let that motivate you to learn and grow.

4. ACCEPT YOUR WEAKNESS AS YOUR FEATURES TOO.

We all embrace our strengths, but what about our flaws? You can't be good at everything you do (trust me I've tried), but nobody else is, either! Loving everything about yourself also means accepting the not so perfect parts. Change doesn't happen overnight, but if you're willing to work on yourself while being aware of what it is, that's pretty commendable. But don't fight it, be okay with everything you are.

5. WHAT MAKES YOUR PROBLEMS BIGGER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S?

Not going to lie, in the past my answer used to be, "They're MINE." But now that I'm older (and hopefully a little wiser) my answer is that every single problem you have is NOT unique. Put your problems in perspective, just turn on the TV and watch the news to get a glimpse of the bigger picture, and trust me, you will solve your problems faster.

6. DON'T GET MAD, GET EVEN.

We all go through feelings of anger, resentment and more. What you do with these emotions is completely on you! Feel your anger, express it (in a productive manner) and learn from it. It's like that saying, "take your broken heart and make it into art." Same ideology applies when it comes to being really pissed off. Make use of that negative energy and put it forth to something better.

7. AFFIRMATIONS ARE KIND OF GROOVY.

Are you able to look at yourself in the mirror every day and go, "Wow, despite my imperfections, I'm a pretty awesome human being! Go ME!", or something to that effect, then yeah, I'd say affirmations go a long way. Instead of pointing out what you don't like about yourself because let's face it, that's a little too easy to do... why not make note of the little things you actually do love about yourself? Face that mirror and give affirmations on what you love about yourself. That positive energy will translate in more than one way, I promise!

8. CHALLENGE YOUR NEGATIVE INNER CRITIC

Or as I call it, "The Bully Voice". Shut that bitch down. It's easier to let negativity win rather than the positive. When my mind starts to play tricks on me, saying "I'm not good enough" or, "This will never happen", etc; you have to smack that voice upside the head until its gone. How to do to that? Take your mind off of it, go for a run, go have a drink, talk to a friend, distract yourself with some spring cleaning. Positivity will always outweigh the negative.

What are some of your tips/suggestions on not being so hard on yourself? Would love to hear from you guys so leave a comment at the end of this post with your own advice! As always, you can shop the look at the beginning or end of each blog post. Who is feeling this fuschia men's jacket/blazer as much as me right now?! Doesn't it just scream spring? I'm ready, are you? :)

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE LOOK

Lucie Brochard Tropical White Cotton Shirt

FOLLOW MAQ + SUZ

Transitioning into Spring

March 7, 2018

WEARING: MAKE ME CHIC FLORAL MAXI DRESS | ALEXIA ADMOR TUXEDO SPLIT SLEEVE DRESS |
 THACKER NYC BOYFRIEND SHIRT NINE WEST HENRA PUMPS | ZAFUL TASSEL EARRINGS | 
VENDULA LONDON BOOKS SHAPED BAG | ASOS WHITE FISHNET SOCKS

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MAKE ME CHIC, ALEXIA ADMOR & NINE WEST.

If you know my style you know how much I'm into the layering game. It's a form of art that may look effortlessly chic to do, but alas, it's not as easy as it seems. And so in today's post, with the dreary thundersnow (yes it was literally snowing and thundering simultaneously this morning in New York) and my longing for the upcoming season, I'm sharing a fairly simple but elegant look that is definitely spring-wear, but can be simply transitioned and mixed in with fall/winter pieces too! This look has a touch of librarian morphed with simple romanticism in a modern-day vintage-y feel. Continue reading to learn more about where these pieces are from and also how I came to style this outfit.

The Alexia & Admor navy blue double-breasted tuxedo split sleeve dress is quite versatile. You can wear it alone as a dress all buttoned up which I chose not to do in this look, which I styled it as a blazer/jacket. I think the split sleeves gives the piece an edgy modern quality to it and the rich blue colors is super trending right now. So much so I think it's a great transitional piece to mix in with spring clothes. For example, like this floral maxi dress.

The Make Me Chic rose-print maxi dress is short sleeved, but given the stubborn weather, I opted for a little more layering with my favorite white boyfriend shirt from Thacker NYC. I wear it often, both in layered looks or just bumming around the house. It's that comfy and chic looking at the same time! The floral dress has great movement and the material is fair. It can be styled in other ways such as with a leather jacket, a thin duster/trench, and even with jeans. The Vendula London Books-Shaped bag is unfortunately sold out, but please check out their site for other amazing vintage-style bags!

I tucked my hair and pulled it back into a low updo so the earrings would have a bigger focus on my face, framing it more. These Zaful tassel earrings have been a part of my accessories since this summer and I still wear them all the time. The black Nine West Henra pumps are great for any look either dressing up or dressing down, it can polish up any outfit. And yet, they're comfortable to walk around in. (Dies a little inside with so much joy.) What do you guys think of the paired ASOS white fishnet socks? I even tried them with a pair of Puma and jeans this past weekend and I think they definitely put a twist on the traditional black fishnet, for sure.

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE POST

FOLLOW MAQ + SUZ

Elementary, My Dear Watson

September 25, 2017

WEARING: ROSEGAL DOUBLE BREASTED BELTED PLAID TRENCH COAT | 
FOREVER 21 RIBBED KNIT SWEATER | VAGABOND HONEY JAKARTA DENIM PANTS | 
OLIVER BILOU ROXY CLUTCH/CROSSBODY | GUCCI BELT | LIE COLLECTION SCARF | 
PERIDOT BOUTIQUE LOAFER SLIDES

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY ROSEGAL & OLIVER BILOU.

After writing and publishing my first novel in 2015, many of you have recently been asking if and when I'll be writing my second one. Well... the answer is still a mystery! Why? A few reasons: To say my debut was on the New York Time's bestseller is definitely not the case. (No, this was not my expectation.) Not to mention I also have at least three other big projects I'm trying to do while simultaneously plotting a way to somehow cure a deep writer's block I've been having for the past year or so. While I have my blog to communicate my daily life with you, in terms of fashion, beauty, love & relationships, photography and more, my one true love has always been the written word and in doing so, telling stories. Favorite way? Definitely fiction. But with a new career path in the digital world, I find it more and more difficult to juggle everything that I do and have been asking myself a lot of questions lately in regards to my work and discipline, in that; can a person be successful in more than one field and when one is struggling in one area more than the other, how can it be managed and put back in order? Continue to read more on my reflections and thoughts on this part of my life, including where to shop my new favorite fall plaid trench from this post that I wore during NYFW!

Now going back to my novel... I never had any intention or high hopes for my book to be anything but legitimately published. Before I found my publisher, I had debated for quite some time whether or not to self-publish and I get asked this question rather frequently when talking amongst other writers. I say there are pro's and con's to both, as there are in everything. But as someone who wanted to establish herself as a writer, I really wanted to be traditionally published. And so I made that happen. And like everything else as well, you learn so much along the way. So long as you're paying attention. With that, I've also embarked on a new journey into the digital world, creating content on a daily basis through photos and text, I truly love what I do. However, finding the time to manage both have put on quite a lot of pressure for myself, balance has never exactly been my forte... I always like to bite off more than I can chew. So, what's a girl to do?

You do the best you can. I am also a photographer, freelancing here and there and everywhere. The hustle is endless, and I would love to reach a point in my life when I won't have to hustle as hard anymore... but does it ever really get easier? I sometimes think we get lost in our own thoughts and have a tendency to think too much about things. Sometimes it's important to just run with it and let what will happen, happen. Because how much can you really control anyway? And how many of you are where you thought you'd be when you were younger? I bet not that many. So the moral of the story is to try your best every day. That's my motto. If I can look at myself in the mirror at the end of each day knowing I gave it my all, in every aspect (which too, in turn, can be a daunting task, especially if one is trying to maintain a social life on top of everything else), then I'm okay with that. What you think about yourself is more important than what anyone else thinks about you.

Something I've also learned from the past year: actions really do speak louder than words and when you deliver, that's it. You're good. Don't get me wrong, guys. I LOVE sharing bits and pieces of my life with you, but there's also boundaries and limitations to that too. I am also very private and when it comes to my personal life, very few are aware of what's really going down. And I think when it comes to the work, let that speak for itself rather than running around telling people what you are going to be doing. I'm all about sharing and conversing with one another, but if it's all talk and nothing else, well... I rest my case. I guess at the end of the day, keep yourself involved in whatever it is that you're extremely passionate about, don't compare yourself to others, (easier said than done, I know.), try to be nice (hey, no one's perfect but try to be lol), and after a lot of hard work (we're talking blood, sweat, tears, and then some), the fruits of your labor will come into play. Don't talk, just do.

And while I started my second novel last summer followed by a nasty case of writer's block, I know the work will come. It took me nearly four years to write my first one while holding down two jobs, so it's a matter of the right timing, patience, and discipline. When it comes to writer's block, my best suggestion is to walk away from what you're trying to write and take a break or, like myself, write about other topics that are very distant from the one that you're focusing on. Or go off for a tiny shopping run, and score this ultra-chic double-breasted belted plaid trench coat from Rosegal like I did! I love to coffee and grey tones with the long silhouette - very Sherlock Holmes. All I need is Hyde Park and some tea with crumpets and I'll be all set! Perhaps I'll be in Europe in the near distant future? Don't forget to leave a comment down below and follow me on Instagram. Have a great week, friends!

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE LOOK

FOLLOW MAQ + SUZ

Back to School – 10 Memorable Moments

August 14, 2017

WEARING: FOREVER 21 OVERSIZED CUTOUT SHIRT | HOLLISTER CO. RIPPED DENIM MINI-SKIRT |
 GUCCI BELT | JACOB ALEXANDER FOREST GREEN SKINNY TIE | 
BRAHMIN ANDESITE GABRIELLA MELBOURNE BAG | PERIDOT BOUTIQUE LOAFER SLIDES | 
FOREVER 21 FISHNET CREW SOCKS | PERSOL EYEGLASSES

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY BRAHMIN.

It's that time of year where summer is winding down and the kids are beginning to get ready to go back to school. I love this time period where the days seem more relaxed and the weather is still hot though there are a few days here and there that are starting to get cooler. August is like the Sunday of summer. I wanted to take a trip down memory lane along with a cute outfit to re-boot! ;) But y'all know I'm far from posh and even further from the typical Catholic school girl, ha ha ha! So I put a little twist on my modern-day version of a really cute first day of school outfit... with a touch of menswear, a little geekiness and a whole lot of rock n roll attitude! But before I get more into detail about my outfit, I wanted to share with you ten of my most memorable moments back in my school days. I may not be old, but I'm definitely reaching old school!

1. Some of you may not know, but I received a B.A. in Criminal Justice from Michigan State University. What a lot of you don't know is because I have such a deep passion for art (the first class I ever took at 4 years old was an art class), I managed to accidentally obtain a minor in art history on top of my primary major. The look I had in the office from my guidance counselor was priceless because I really never had any intention of doing it! I even considered changing my major to creative writing or literature before anything else. It's funny how some things just fall in your lap.

2. The first time I ever got in trouble at school was in kindergarten. And you'll never guess what for... kissing! I had the craziest crush on a blonde boy from my class and I was completely infatuated... I just kept running around smooching him every chance I could get before the teacher put me in timeout. Ha ha ha!

3. During second grade, the elementary school I attended was holding their annual cultural potluck meal, where the parents' kids came up with dishes pertaining to their ethnic background and brought it to school for all of us to enjoy and learn more about different culinary foods. I initially (and quite desperately) wanted to bring dried up squid as our Korean dish, but my mother was against it due to the tentacle oddities & seafood smell and was concerned the kids wouldn't go for it. I was crushed! I really wanted to share my favorite snack! But umma came through and made her famous kalbi ribs, that dish went completely empty the minute it sat down on the table!

4. The first person to have ever told me I should be a writer was my creative writing teacher in high school, Mr. Ikens. He was quite peculiar looking, with ghostly skin and matching white hair even though he was only in his mid-thirties at the time, and had a deep-seeded fear for the Pillsbury Doughboy. He was the first to see my work and was the first to suggest that I set my career in writing. I'll always remember the music he played while we sat in his classroom working, from Bob Dylan to this very strange song called, "Rollie-Pollie Fish Heads", he inspired me to write more and eventually led to where I am today.

5. One of the most tedious classes I ever had was an advanced course in European history while in high school. I'm not proud to admit it but I must have fallen asleep in that class at least three times a week! It was also where I had to speak in front of a whole room with a presentation, which made me hella nervous, but to this day did teach me a lot about public speaking and yes, European history.

6. I learned how to read Shakespeare well from the likes of Mr. Webb. He was a disgruntled man who taught English in my junior high school, and we had read Romeo & Juliet during our time with him. Though I had already read several books by Shakespeare and Mr. Webb normally scared the bejesus out of me, he did teach me a thing or two about writing and I still remember him to this day.

7. When I was in elementary school I was one of the best in the state for chin-ups/pull-ups. I used to easily be able to do at least 20 in one sitting! I even made it to the state tracks to compete where I met one of my closest friends to date. We've known each other for over twenty years and she is like family to me. What's funny is we didn't become glued to the hip after meeting at the track competition, it was not until the following season where we bumped into each other at a skating rink when we became close very quickly.

8. My first dance I attended was in high school. Yeah, you can say I had a late start to everything. I remember I had picked this really pretty green with black embroidered floral print spaghetti strapped dress to impress my boyfriend, who happened to also be the first boyfriend I ever had. My mother was so adamant about me wearing a bra, and to this day I still HATE wearing them, that I did leave the house with one on, but took it off in the bathroom at the school dance and threw it out! Free the nipple, ha ha ha!

9. At around 8 or 9, as an April Fool's joke, I pretended to have an asthma attack during class after watching The Hand that Rocks the Cradle at a sleepover at a friend's house. Let's just say I was kind of a naughty child, and definitely a troublemaker!

10. When I was in college I studied abroad in Ukraine. For nearly six weeks, we visited six different cities and it was one of the most adventurous and life-changing experiences of my life. I miss the place and its people often and hope to visit again one day very soon. I think my favorite memory from this trip was perhaps firing my first gun and seeing a live autopsy for the very first time. Such a wild and fun experience. Now I want to share photos and experiences in a post, what do you guys think about that?

And now onto this school girl-inspired outfit. Initially, I was going to go for a more monochromatic look with a long black dress with this oversized cutout shirt from Forever 21. I received this beautiful andesite Gabriella Melbourne bag from Brahmin in celebration of their 35th Year Anniversary. At Brahmin, they're are all about the details. Since 1982, they've been creating handbags and accessories that combine inspired functionality, quality materials, and standout style. Selecting luxe leathers and on-trend accents, their team designs 100% of their products in-house in Massachusetts. The result is a modern collection celebrating the textures you love. And I can definitely say this is my new go-to staple bag for the season! I took it for a little 'stroll' the other day and got so many compliments on it! You guys should check them out, really top-notch quality! I'm completely obsessed. My skirt is from Hollister paired with my trusty Gucci belt. I accessorized with fishnet crew socks from Forever 21 and loafer slides from Peridot Boutique. To give a more librarian, nerdy feel to this look, I wore a loosely tied men's skinny tie in forest green and my favorite Persol glasses. What do you guys think of this look? And what's one of your favorite memories from your school days? Leave your answers in the comments below where you can also directly shop the look. Have a great week, everyone! Catch ya back here on Wednesday.

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE LOOK

Jacob Alexander Men's Solid Color Skinny Tie Forest Green

Brahmin Andesite Gabriella Melbourne Bag

FOLLOW MAQ + SUZ

Favorite Place to Shoot Pool in New York City

July 3, 2017

WEARING: FOREVER 21 WHITE SHIRT | VAGABOND HONEY JAKARTA DENIM PANTS | 
POTROL FAUX LEATHER NEON YELLOW HOLSTER PURSE | GUCCI BELT | 
STEVE MADDEN BLACK ANKLE BOOTS

HAIR & MAKEUP BY: BEAUTY DIRECTOR VALERIE STAR OF CARAVAN NYC.

This post is sponsored by ForRent.com but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.

Well, ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here in River City.
Why sure I'm a billiard player,
Certainly mighty proud I say
I'm always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With a cue in my hand are golden.

–

Though I have called the East Village, home, for the past ten and a half years, (have been living in New York City for over 11) my new stomping grounds are now Union Square. This section's unmatched diversity brings together poets, professionals, protesters, and everyone in between. Anchored by its central plaza, Union Square extends into surrounding streets filled with a mix of corporate giants and neighborhood staples. Farmer’s markets and street performers add to Union Square’s cultural significance and popular appeal. A place where I can shake off the stress and get away from the day, Amsterdam Billiards is one of my favorite hangouts in New York City, and one of the many new perks of living in Union Square. In today's post, I'll be sharing with you guys reasons why Union Square is a great section in the city to live in along with why this is my favorite pool parlor in the entire city.

Now I'm not exactly, 'the Black Widow', but I've had my fair share in shooting pool. I've been playing since I was a kid, my uncle used to have a pool table in his 'man cave' and I think that's where the interest initially sparked. For whatever reason, I find the game relaxing and enjoyable with friends. And my favorite billiard to shoot pool in in New York City is this place in Union Square, Amsterdam Billiards. It's got 25 billiards tables plus Ping-Pong, darts, foosball, full bar & food but what stands out to me are the memories of this place with the people I love. My husband, my friends - we've had some good laughs and games in this joint. So now that it's the long holiday weekend and I'm staying in town, I thought it'd be nice to go back and play on top of sharing a place I hold dear to my heart. New York has a way of doing that to you.

Another favorite place in my new neighborhood would definitely be The Strand, a landmark bookshop that carries new, used & rare books that literally stretches for 18 miles. I stop in there at least a couple of times of week, whether it's searching in the half-off bins outside or checking out the photography section for inspiration and research, it is a really amazing book store. Union Square also has two great music venues, Webster Hall and Irving Plaza. I also enjoy the Greenmarket for its fresh flowers and herbs. When I have the time, I love to pick out fish or meat to cook and experiment a new recipe with, especially during the summer alongside some squash and corn.

Other stores I don't live without are Adorama for all my camera/photography needs, New York Costumes for props, Sephora for makeup and skincare, and Food Emporium for groceries. When going out to eat around the neighborhood, I love L'Express for French, Barn Joo for Korean, Blue Water Grill for seafood and Maison Kayser for pastries. Recent new pasta discovery in Union Square? Vapiano, where their basil pesto with pine nuts and parmesan is TO. DIE. FOR. The famous Coffeeshop is where I have a lot of my meetings midday. It's a cool people-watching place while dining al fresco. And the staff's not too bad-looking either... ;)

Living somewhere like New York City is competitive let alone expensive, but with its amazing food, entertainment, culture, beautiful sights and so much to do, the highlights sort of outweigh all of the chaos that goes on in a city such as the one I love. It's definitely not the easiest place to live, but if you keep your eye on the ball, you can set out to do a lot more than you think. What are some of your favorite sections in New York City? If you could live in any one of them, which one would you like to live in? If you're considering moving to and living in New York City, check out ForRent.Com, an apartment rental listing service where potential renters can search for professionally managed apartments. Got questions about living here? I'd love to answer! Leave them in the comments down below or you can find me on one of my social media channels! Have a wonderful start to your week and Happy Fourth of July!