Bluesy Metallic Friday

October 20, 2017

WEARING: s a k u NEW YORK METALLIC KNIT TOP | AMERICAN EAGLE WHITE JEANS | 
EGO TEGAN POINTED TOE | FOREVER 21 CREAM PATENT CLUTCH BAG | GALTISCOPIO JOLI CRYSTAL
 RING | H&M BLACK FEATHER POLKA DOT FEATHERED HOOP EARRING

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY s a k u New York.

Lately, I've been feeling like I am failing in so many 'sections' of my life, I can't keep track. It leads to discouragement and therefore I'm harder on myself than I usually am. But it's also the fuel to the fire to not give up and to keep working toward what I want. What makes these cross paths in life easier to navigate? And how do you know when something is right? And even more so, how do you know when it's wrong? Regarding work and personal relationships, I am currently having major conflicts with time and effort. Trying to find the balance is quite difficult, even straight down to missing my best friend's wedding. And to make days of feeling pretty lousy worse, it just seems like so many people I know are getting those promotions, getting married, having babies, etc; and as much as I am happy for them - it's sometimes hard not to reflect on my own self. Am I doing the right thing? Am I making good decisions? Are they worth it? Are you worth it? Maybe I should focus more on settling down and starting a family. But life takes you in so many directions and as my father always used to say, "If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans."

You know, I've changed careers three times before really figuring myself out. From the criminal justice world to the figure skating world, to now the fashion blogging world, each transition scared the bejesus out of me. I've always firmly believed you should do one thing that scares you each and every day. And this can mean completely different things for everybody but challenge yourself. Not happy with something? Make that change. Get it done. Stop dreaming and start doing. Take a leap of faith. And even though each time I took a different route on that crazy path to self-discovery, as much as every time I would, of course, think over my choices, there was still something deep down in my gut that knew I was reaching closer to something. Like the truth.

Now, how do you know when something isn't right? If it's broke and unfixable, and/or you are asking yourself if you've reached the end of whatever it may be, maybe a career choice/job or any kind of relationship, those are pretty obvious signs to me. Though, I think that if you've applied a lot of diligent effort to something or someone and the results are still same and you're still unhappy, that's the bottom line for me. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results, as Einstein used to say. But the bottom line is far away from where you draw the middle line. Because not everything is in black and white, right? The most complicated areas are always foggy and grey.

My instincts do say I'm on the right track. But I sometimes forget that it's not the destination that really matters, but the journey. Maybe that's why I feel like a failure lately. My impatience has a tendency to get the best of me. *Flaw alert* Whatever path you take in life will deeply be affected by your experiences and more especially, the choices you make from them. Because when it comes down to it, we ALL have a choice. In everything we do. So, I think that if you choose to stay in a certain mindset, either negative or positive, it really makes a difference in everyday living. Sure, I have those days too where the bully voice defeats me, I don't feel good enough for anyone or anybody, and I just want to be left alone. But I try very hard every day to wake up with a positive attitude, and I feel when I do, the rest of my day is rather positive too. How do you guys differentiate between what feels right and what feels wrong? Do you think that some people tend to gravitate towards one or the other for certain reasons? And how do you deal with those bluesy days like I've mentioned? Retail therapy? Writing? Gabbing on the phone with your girlfriend? Bad emotional eating habits? What helps you get you through it?

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE LOOK

s a k u New York Metallic Knit Top Dark Blue

H&M Black Feather Polka Dot Hoop Earrings

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Houndstooth & Charles Bukowski

October 16, 2017

WEARING: VINTAGE MACKINTOSH OVERSIZED HOUNDSTOOTH JACKET |
FOREVER 21 OVERSIZED CUTOUT SHIRT | LEVI'S 711 ALTERED SKINNY JEANS |
EGO NASH BACKLESS ANKLE BOOTS | CHARLES BUKOWSKI WOMEN

I WAS SENTIMENTAL ABOUT MANY THINGS: A WOMAN'S SHOES UNDER THE BED; ONE HAIRPIN LEFT BEHIND ON THE DRESSER; THE WAY THEY SAID, "I'M GOING TO PEE. . ."; HAIR RIBBONS, WALKING DOWN THE BOULEVARD WITH THEM AT 1:30 IN THE AFTERNOON, JUST TWO PEOPLE WALKING TOGETHER; THE LONG NIGHTS OF DRINKING AND SMOKING, TALKING; THE ARGUMENTS; THINKING OF SUICIDE; EATING TOGETHER AND FEELING GOOD; THE JOKES; THE LAUGHTER OUT OF NOWHERE; FEELING MIRACLES IN THE AIR; BEING IN A PARKED CAR TOGETHER; COMPARING PAST LOVERS AT 3AM; BEING TOLD YOU SNORE, HEARING HER SNORE; MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS, SONS, CATS, DOGS; SOMETIMES DEATH AND SOMETIMES DIVORCE, BUT ALWAYS CARRYING ON, ALWAYS SEEING IT THROUGH; READING A NEWSPAPER ALONE IN A SANDWICH JOINT AND FEELING NAUSEA BECAUSE SHE'S NOW MARRIED TO A DENTIST WITH AN I.Q. OF 95; RACETRACKS, PARKS, PARK PICNICS; EVEN JAILS; HER DULL FRIENDS, YOUR DULL FRIENDS; YOUR DRINKING, HER DANCING; YOUR FLIRTING, HER FLIRTING; HER PILLS, YOUR FUCKING ON THE SIDE, AND HER DOING THE SAME; SLEEPING TOGETHER. . . .

One of the many passages from writer Charles Bukowski's novel, Women, I always found comfort in his writing. His style flairs in the rawest form of honesty, something that most writers today do not have. The older I become the more I realize how important it is to pull away from the idea of what perfection is supposed to be - straight to its core in every aspect. Bukowski wasn't exactly the nicest of people; a total misogynist, narcissist and straight up alcoholic. Many disliked him, but many like myself saw him as an influence not just in the realm of writing. So in today's post I'm sharing with you five things I've learned from one of my favorite American writers.

HONESTY

Writers have so many things they can’t write about: family, spouses, exes, children, jobs, bosses, colleagues, friends. That’s why they make stuff up. Fiction is their best friend. But Bukowski didn’t let himself get hampered by that so we see real brutal honesty, a real anthropological survey of being down and out for 60+ years without anything being held back. No other writer before or since has done that. For a particular example, see his novel, Women which detailed every sexual nuance of every woman who dared to sleep with him after he achieved some success. Most of these women were horrified after the book came out. It's actually one of my favorite books written by Bukowski and the beginning excerpt of this post is from Women. Sure he talks badly about most of the experiences he has had with women, but what I really love about it is the cold hard dose of reality that comes with any relationship: disappointment, pain, heartache... love... and the way he is so candor about some of the more intimate parts of life. Think about it, would you find it easy or rather difficult talking about your personal relationships through the written word?

DISCIPLINE

Imagine coming home from an awful day at work and arguing with a woman/man that was living with you, finishing off a six-pack of beer and then... writing. He did it every day. Most people want to write that novel, or finish that painting, or start that business, but have zero discipline to actually sit down and do it. I'm actually amazed he had any sort of discipline at all. With that kind of work ethic, it just goes to show that if you truly love what you're doing, it will supersede the rest. (Even through the potent powers of alcohol!) In order to be a writer, you must really love to write and you must write every single day. Easy to say, but so tough to do. I, myself, also write every day, but I'm not going to lie, there are some pretty bad days where I just want to throw my typewriter out the window. But you keep at it, because it's all you know, it's all you have and without the written word, you feel like you could die. That's how Bukowski felt too.

SHAMELESSNESS

Bukowski didn't give a rat's ass what people thought about him. And I praise him for that. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder and am always second-guessing myself. I sometimes wish I could throw caution to the wind and really have that mentality of 'no f*cks given' at all times. But when feeling extra down, my insecurities tend to get the best of me. Learning the art of not caring what people think takes time and experience, I think. But I've always admired those who really didn't worry about the opinions of others - because it's not as easy as it looks. It can be cleverly hidden in so many different ways.

POETRY

Bukowski was quite the poet. And it's all non-fiction, which to me, is the best part. It's not the puzzle-kind of poetry where you have to intellectually decode it to understand it. His work was straight to the point. Poetry was something that let writers to master making each word in a sentence effective and powerful. It was this training that allowed them to destroy the competition when they sat down to write their longer pieces. That's how I also got started in writing. In fact, the first two pieces I ever had published were actually poems I wrote as a young teenager. It was only after these publications that I really started to consider becoming a writer.

PERSISTENCE

The man wrote his first novel at age 49. And it took him over 25 years to become a successful writer. Everyone (mostly everyone) nowadays wants instant gratification. Less and less are understanding what it takes to become one of the greats. I find that when most figure out how long or how much dedication/work will be required to reach whatever goal you may have, most tend to give up before even reaching that halfway mark. And Bukowski was far from perfect and yet still managed to become what he wanted to become. So if he could stay persistent despite all the misfortunes and misgivings life can bring, he still kept plugging away and never gave up. And to me, that's what makes the heart of any champion...

LOVE & XX'S,

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New Level

October 6, 2017

WEARING: NATIVE YOUTH GRAY LONGLINE COAT | DETROIT TIGERS BASEBALL CAP | 
LEVI'S INDIGO PERFECT POCKET TEE | ZAFUL SIDE STRIPED VELVET PANTS | 
PUMA CLYDE SNEAKERS | KYBOE! WATCH | FOREVER 21 OVERSIZED ROUND GLASSES

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY ZAFUL.

This week has been just been crazy with a lot of ups and downs so in return, I'm sharing a new editorial street style post... video included, definitely with no f*cks given. Most fashion content I create is polished, intended styled looks but what I realized is I've never really shown you what I wear when I'm just bummin' around the hood, runnin' errands, shootin' photos or kickin' it on my rooftop. I thought I'd show you a side of me most don't get a chance to see! There's definitely a 'hardness' to my style at times, especially when my mood has been the way it has been this week: Fed up AF but still taking it like a champ and putting in that work. Come take a look for yourself and continue reading more about that Detroit style that'll never cease to fade away in me... it runs through like blood.

When I think of Detroit style it's definitely not feminine, soft or uber chic. It's got grunge, soul, punk, rock n roll and a whole lot of street. The first time I picked up an issue of Vogue (US) I was in my teens and couldn't pronounce half of the designers featured in the magazine, and there was something even back then that made me fascinated about the fashion world but because of where I came from and who I was, I never really embraced the industry until recent years. Everyone has their own journey when it comes to personal style, but I believe what sets the foundation of what your style really is where you've originated; your own backstory will help mold you and constantly interchange you and your style.

So I really enjoy mixing the better of both worlds I've been involved in and continue to be in. I think staying in one box, one style is playing it safe and gets boring after a while. Let your style have its own voice and let it run its mouth! Inspire others to express how they're vibing through their style. In today's post, I've created two different looks with just one change from each outfit and that's outerwear. Outerwear can really set the tone of a look. For example, this Native Youth longline coat gives me a bigger and bolder statement, looking a tad more luxurious than in the second look. The second look is with a more preppy but ghetto vibe. One can be both, trust me! I took one of the oldest Nike sweatshirts I own and cut the sleeves to give it fringe and added toughness to it. I styled it over my shoulders as well as around my waist.

Check out my YouTube video down below or HERE to watch all the different looks going on while still maintaining the same overall vibe. I've also revamped my YouTube Channel and gave it a more polished look, so let me know what you guys think. And don't forget to subscribe while you visit my channel! Shop directly down below and feel free to leave me a comment on what you thought of today's post and how you like to express yourself through style! Have a great weekend, everyone. Take care of each other and yourselves and don't ever stop believing in the good in people, hope and most importantly, LOVE. :)

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE LOOK

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Hot Pink Parisian

October 2, 2017

WEARING: FOREVER 21 HOT PINK RIBBED SWEATER-KNIT CROP TOP | 
LEVI'S 711 ALTERED SKINNY JEANS | ASSEMBLY NEW YORK STANDARD BLACK BELT COAT | 
FOREVER 21 BURGUNDY FAUX LEATHER ANKLE BOOTS | LEVI'S WINTER WOOL BERET | 
BRAHMIN ANDESITE GABRIELLA MELBOURNE BAG | FOREVER 21 OVERSIZED ROUND GLASSES

Hot Pink Parisian Chic! Since Paris Fashion Week, I've been getting all the feels (and a MAJOR desire) to not just visit ole' Paree but to dress like one! One of my biggest inspirations when it comes to that effortless Parisian chic style is the iconic Caroline de Maigret. Her laid back but rock n roll look (not to mention she's basically married to a rock star, and how incredibly hot is that?!) always brings me inspiration when it comes to my own style. But fashion is not supposed to be one main thing. And so begins the story of this hot pink sweater-knit crop top from Forever 21. No, this is not a sponsored post. I just wanted to share with you a look that mixes different pieces together that can be affordable but still giving you that Parisian chic vibe including some 90s vibes up in here! Continue reading to hear about why I HAD to style this colorful top and how you can get this look too!

The other day I had run into a Forever 21 store just to look and de-stress from hours of burning holes into my eye sockets from the computer screen. To others like myself, this means editing your life away... am I right?! I had taken my usual lap around the store before going upstairs to see what other stuff they had. One of the first things that caught my eye was this hot pink sweater-knit crop top. It's velvet, soft to the touch and looked oh so cute. BUT. One, I'm not a pink-wearing type of gal and two, crop tops are not typically in my wardrobe. So initially, I walked away from it. But even after a whole day of not being able to stop thinking about that damn top, I was finally convinced to go back and get it!

I'm sure many of you ladies can relate. And it's a sure sign to go back and get whatever it is that you can't stop thinking about (so long as you don't break the bank hardcore with what you can afford, ha ha!) Got to trust that first gut instinct too. If you're in awe of a piece right away, it may be a good sign to at least try it on. Other pieces I had to have are these oversized round sunglasses that are so 90s retro and these comfy burgundy patent faux leather ankle boots. I think each accessory fits well with the beret (it's from Levi's of all places!) I love that it's wool material because that means I can wear it through the winter season as well! My jeans are also from Levi's, and more specifically are style 711 altered skinny jeans. I love the long-lined seams in the back along with how comfortable they are to move around in.

My staple fall coat is this black one from Assembly New York. I've had it for a couple of years now and I still wear it every fall/winter season. I love how classic it is, also made out of wool, and the beautiful cuts of the coat along with the long belt. I think it goes well with the ensemble, no? And you can still wear crop tops when it gets chillier, especially with a bad boy like this on you! ;) What are some of your favorite ways to mix in summer-like pieces into your fall wardrobe?

I really wanted to style this Forever 21 top not only for how much I love it but because it's something outside of what I normally wear. The most vibrant color I have the most in my closet is probably red (Hello, Aries.) but I think adding a few pieces here and there and trying stepping away from your comfort zone is always a good thing. It's how you will learn and grow, even if it's not always a hit. Because we're all going through hits & misses, what do you think? I'd love to hear how you try and elevate your styles! Whether it's adding more refined, high-end pieces, or trying something new, or both, what do you think works for you?

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE LOOK

Forever 21 Hot Pink Ribber Sweater-Knit Crop Top

Assembly New York Standard Black Belt Coat

Forever 21 Patent Faux Leather Boots Burgundy

Brahmin Andesite Gabriella Melbourne Bag

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Elementary, My Dear Watson

September 25, 2017

WEARING: ROSEGAL DOUBLE BREASTED BELTED PLAID TRENCH COAT | 
FOREVER 21 RIBBED KNIT SWEATER | VAGABOND HONEY JAKARTA DENIM PANTS | 
OLIVER BILOU ROXY CLUTCH/CROSSBODY | GUCCI BELT | LIE COLLECTION SCARF | 
PERIDOT BOUTIQUE LOAFER SLIDES

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY ROSEGAL & OLIVER BILOU.

After writing and publishing my first novel in 2015, many of you have recently been asking if and when I'll be writing my second one. Well... the answer is still a mystery! Why? A few reasons: To say my debut was on the New York Time's bestseller is definitely not the case. (No, this was not my expectation.) Not to mention I also have at least three other big projects I'm trying to do while simultaneously plotting a way to somehow cure a deep writer's block I've been having for the past year or so. While I have my blog to communicate my daily life with you, in terms of fashion, beauty, love & relationships, photography and more, my one true love has always been the written word and in doing so, telling stories. Favorite way? Definitely fiction. But with a new career path in the digital world, I find it more and more difficult to juggle everything that I do and have been asking myself a lot of questions lately in regards to my work and discipline, in that; can a person be successful in more than one field and when one is struggling in one area more than the other, how can it be managed and put back in order? Continue to read more on my reflections and thoughts on this part of my life, including where to shop my new favorite fall plaid trench from this post that I wore during NYFW!

Now going back to my novel... I never had any intention or high hopes for my book to be anything but legitimately published. Before I found my publisher, I had debated for quite some time whether or not to self-publish and I get asked this question rather frequently when talking amongst other writers. I say there are pro's and con's to both, as there are in everything. But as someone who wanted to establish herself as a writer, I really wanted to be traditionally published. And so I made that happen. And like everything else as well, you learn so much along the way. So long as you're paying attention. With that, I've also embarked on a new journey into the digital world, creating content on a daily basis through photos and text, I truly love what I do. However, finding the time to manage both have put on quite a lot of pressure for myself, balance has never exactly been my forte... I always like to bite off more than I can chew. So, what's a girl to do?

You do the best you can. I am also a photographer, freelancing here and there and everywhere. The hustle is endless, and I would love to reach a point in my life when I won't have to hustle as hard anymore... but does it ever really get easier? I sometimes think we get lost in our own thoughts and have a tendency to think too much about things. Sometimes it's important to just run with it and let what will happen, happen. Because how much can you really control anyway? And how many of you are where you thought you'd be when you were younger? I bet not that many. So the moral of the story is to try your best every day. That's my motto. If I can look at myself in the mirror at the end of each day knowing I gave it my all, in every aspect (which too, in turn, can be a daunting task, especially if one is trying to maintain a social life on top of everything else), then I'm okay with that. What you think about yourself is more important than what anyone else thinks about you.

Something I've also learned from the past year: actions really do speak louder than words and when you deliver, that's it. You're good. Don't get me wrong, guys. I LOVE sharing bits and pieces of my life with you, but there's also boundaries and limitations to that too. I am also very private and when it comes to my personal life, very few are aware of what's really going down. And I think when it comes to the work, let that speak for itself rather than running around telling people what you are going to be doing. I'm all about sharing and conversing with one another, but if it's all talk and nothing else, well... I rest my case. I guess at the end of the day, keep yourself involved in whatever it is that you're extremely passionate about, don't compare yourself to others, (easier said than done, I know.), try to be nice (hey, no one's perfect but try to be lol), and after a lot of hard work (we're talking blood, sweat, tears, and then some), the fruits of your labor will come into play. Don't talk, just do.

And while I started my second novel last summer followed by a nasty case of writer's block, I know the work will come. It took me nearly four years to write my first one while holding down two jobs, so it's a matter of the right timing, patience, and discipline. When it comes to writer's block, my best suggestion is to walk away from what you're trying to write and take a break or, like myself, write about other topics that are very distant from the one that you're focusing on. Or go off for a tiny shopping run, and score this ultra-chic double-breasted belted plaid trench coat from Rosegal like I did! I love to coffee and grey tones with the long silhouette - very Sherlock Holmes. All I need is Hyde Park and some tea with crumpets and I'll be all set! Perhaps I'll be in Europe in the near distant future? Don't forget to leave a comment down below and follow me on Instagram. Have a great week, friends!