How I Feel About Blogging Lately


THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY LOWER OFFICIAL BUT ALL OPINIONS ARE MY OWN.

I’ve been wanting to write this post all week but alas I’ve been quite the mess. My dog, MaQ, even though seems to be his good cherry self, has had some kind of skin infection (or so it seemed) but after a vet visit and the blood work came back, his albumin levels were lower than they should be. So tomorrow we will be going in to have an abdominal ultrasound to further investigate the problem. I PRAY that there’s nothing serious, but given the fact this is the first time my baby is not well (internally) I want to be safe rather than sorry. And in doing so, I’ve been super anxious all week, to the point where I canceled all my meetings, events… everything. I know a lot will disagree, that the world keeps on ticking, but he’s more than just a dog to me. He’s my child and without him I’m not sure what’s left of me. Most have been incredibly supportive (and THANK you for the uplifting msgs/comments/etc;) but what’s been going on with MaQ lately has me thinking a lot about the future, and what that entails of in the blogging world and which direction I would like to take. Continue reading for more on my thoughts on this rather difficult subject and my fears for what lies ahead.

On a daily basis I receive approximately 10-15 invitations to press previews, launch events, and then some where in the start to my career in blogging, I accepted almost every invitation to network and expand my business. But now coming up on four years in August, I am highly selective with my time. Many of these events are to fill the room, as in to make it look like the event is lively and engaging, I get that, and in turn we, as bloggers show up for support and networking abilities but how many times do we really connect with others (business-wise) at an event where nearly everyone is drinking alcohol, bringing their +1’s because they need a hand to hold and gossip with, only to never really be as proactive as one can be during such a place and time. I rarely see strangers starting up conversations, and more so the cliquey groups I detested in high school. Don’t get me wrong, you can connect while boozing, I’m sure, but in all likelihood, it’s not going to happen. Especially when there’s hundreds of people in the room. I’m more about intimate gatherings, or one-on-one meetings where you have a better chance in what I’m talking about. I’m not the type of person who likes to see and be seen. Frankly, I don’t give a shit and would rather be in the comfort of my own home in my pj’s snuggled up with my dog.

It’s also the experience that comes with. I actually hate being called an influencer, because I don’t consider to be one. When you see others talking in selfie form on stories and load after load of unboxings, gifts, press trips, and always THE SAME OLE’ THING, it’s gets old relatively fast. I don’t even like to tell others I’m a blogger because of first impressions. Many have given the blogging label a bad rep, and I hate to have fallen in to that category because I’m far from it. I’m first and foremost a writer. I tend to forget at times due to the very difficult career path and yes, it’s not easy at all. But after being a writer, I consider myself a creative director and stylist who wants to further concentrate my energy into creation - such as fashion editorials, photo essays and more. It’s been a while since I wrote my last body of work, and to be quite honest, I haven’t jumped back on the wagon quite yet because of fear and the pressures of what comes next after writing your first book. It’s terrifying. I do have a number of ideas, but in recent years have lost a lot of confidence, therefore feeling very uncertain about the future. All I know is I definitely don’t see myself posting OOTD’S for the rest of my life, lol. So where do I go from here?

But after the past week with what’s going on with MaQ, it has put many things in perspective. My family comes first, because without them I’m nothing. They mean everything to me, and if anyone doesn’t seem to quite understand that, they can stick it where the sun doesn’t shine. I’m serious. “When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives.” My favorite Game of Thrones quote, it’s the epitome of what family means to me. We are better together rather than alone. I would love to add to our family, but that’s a long story and a whole other blog post alone. And even though it’s my '“job” to share a lot of my life to you all, I couldn’t disagree more. I’m like the Keanu Reeves of blogging. I relish in my privacy. And will keep it that way. Never hurts to leave a little mystery behind. 

I’m sure you have heard by now but if you haven’t, Instagram is considering hiding the amount of likes on everyone’s account. And I think this is wonderful. Talk about healthy engagement. Because it never should be about the numbers, but the CONTENT. Is it good quality? Does it tell a story? Does it transport me to somewhere? And I think this idea would be greatly beneficial to the younger generation, where studies have shown the toxicity within social media and how validation plays such a terrible role. I mean, how many times have you felt bad when a post bombed? I know I have. I would like to focus on slow-creation as I term it, where back in the Avedon/Penn days, photographs/content would take a lot of time. Nothing was digital and the appreciation after waiting for the final product was always worth it. Nowadays, we can’t seem to go fast enough. And it’s exhausting, fully saturated with so many doing the exact same concept (YAWN) or even worse, just ripping off one another’s ideas. And yes, everything comes from somewhere but the way we interpret it is key. So I’m focusing on advancing in videography (something I’m good at but hate doing lol) where we can start to evolve our content into something fresh and new again. I will also be taking more focus on my writing,

I used to have trepidations of not staying consistent on the gram. Meaning, if I didn’t post everyday, I was in serious trouble! OMG, how ridiculous does that sound?! I would rather have my audience wait and appreciate the work rather than nonstop photos of outfits, events, etc; where it just gets to be too much and no one can really concentrate on the work, which is most important to me. That’s another reason I don’t post as much on stories either anymore because I find it creepy sharing your every move. And who really cares what you’re having for dinner? Unless you’re a major public figure like Angelina Jolie, you got me. I will keep my presence online, but will definitely not be posting everyday of the week anymore, which I have been doing for several months now.

So, while I have some projects I am really going to concentrate on for the remainder of the year, I would love to know from my readers on what you’d like to see me cover more on my social media platforms. Don’t worry - I will still post, go to (some) events and live my life, but what would you want to see more of? Fashion? Writing on more serious topics? Beauty? Travel? Pet lifestyle? Maybe some crime? Or still maybe a little bit of everything? I would love to have some feedback from you guys to better assess our future content. Thanks for stopping by and reading! Don’t forget to drop your comments down below and chime in on what you’d like to see more of on MaQ + Suz! Until next time, wish us luck tomorrow at MaQ’s sonogram and keep sending those positive vibes! Nothing but Love & Light to you all. xx

LOVE & XX’S,

 
 

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How to Deal When the Holidays Aren't Exactly Happy

I don’t know about you, but the holidays can be a very bittersweet time for me. It’s not the most wonderful time of the year, I am not jolly and I normally am counting down the days until it’s January 2nd. I skip a lot of holiday events and parties because I’m never in the mood to socialize. Why? Am I the grinch? Nah. This time of year we remember people we’ve lost, especially the older we get. Both my parents are deceased, so this time period always brings up a lot of memories and mixed emotions. I’m grateful for the family I have made for myself, given the fact that my own estrangement from the rest of my family is not a choice I have made, but more so one that they have made, but since my parents have been gone, it just hasn’t been the same. There’s nothing like the season’s festive messages of peace, love, and togetherness to really make us contemplate our existence, our relationships, and what really matters to us. Hence, the Holiday blues do tend to creep in on me. But instead of passing through and keeping quiet, I decided to write to those that are in the same boat as me. Because you’re not alone. So here are my 5 tips on how to deal when the holidays aren’t exactly happy.

1. TAKE CARE OF YOU

With all the added pressures the holidays bring, one activity I’m not much a fan of is holiday gatherings. So I tend to skip out on a lot of them. Not because I’m a no-show kind of person, but more importantly, I have to take care of me. So if that means I don’t feel like going to someone’s shindig - I just won’t. Life’s too short to spend all your free time at parties anyway. Plus I always feel guilty. Celebrating anything relating to family is difficult for me. And with a hubby and a dog I cherish so dearly, I quite frankly really enjoy just spending time with them around this time of the year. For those that actually care for me will understand and for the ones who don’t, who cares, honestly.

2. ‘TIS THE SEASON FOR GIVING

Whenever I’m feeling down I always make an extra effort to think of others before myself. Because as much as my problems are as big in my head, to the next person, who know what they’re facing as well. So a tiny act of kindness, whether it’s helping an elderly person walk across the street or giving away clothes to Goodwill, there’s always something to be done to help others. I always like to believe that whatever energy you project and also be whatever is paying it forward to the next person. So perhaps if my act of kindness inspires the next person to do the same, my work is done. Well… so to speak. :)

3. TREAT YOURSELF

Hey, they don’t call it retail therapy for nothing! If all else fails, you can always splurge on yourself too. Eyeing that new piece of jewelry that just can’t seem to get off your mind? Don’t regret the things you didn’t buy! Big or small, getting a gift for yourself is an act of self-care/self-love. Kind of goes along with the first, in that taking care of yourself and that it doesn’t hurt to buy something for yourself every once in a while. Money doesn’t buy happiness, though!

4. FOCUS ON THE GLASS BEING HALF-FULL

It’s quite easy to fall into the trap of missing what you don’t have in your life. We are all going through something, and no one’s life is 100% perfectly complete all the time. So when you start to get into a funk, I always try to think of what’s going right in my life rather than what’s going wrong. I think of the people and things I’m grateful for and I have learned to appreciate the smaller things in life. It’s all in the mindset and the way our perspective is in that given time. If you change the way you look at things, things you look at change.

5. LAUGH, AS THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

Laughter is the best medicine. Whenever I travel for work and am alone in my hotel room working, I always have Friends of Big Bang Theory on in the background. The white noise makes the room feel less empty and I can always count on a few chuckles to be had afterward. Watch movies, listen to music that make you feel good and will inspire you. Whatever makes you smile, hold on to that just a while longer, because before you know it, the holidays will be over just as quickly as they began!

If you’re in the same boat as me and are not a huge fan of the holidays for perhaps similar reasons like myself - YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I’d say try and make the most of it but it’s okay to not be feeling it as well. If you have any other great suggestion on how to get out of the holiday funky blues, feel free to relay your tips down in the comment section below. I love hearing from you guys, especially on more personal posts as such. Hope you enjoyed, until next time… take care of yourself and others. Love always.

LOVE & XX’S,

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Ruffled and Pink

WEARING: CHICWISH ONLY FOR YOU MESH LACE TOP | DL1961 FARROW ANKLE HIGH RISE 
SKINNY LARAMIE | THE LUXELLE SILVER PLATED PURSE | BCBG HEELS

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY CHICWISH, DL1961 & AVEDA.

        

Happy Monday! Yesterday I shared a favorite new spring top that's definitely a statement piece. It's crisp white details definitely catch the attention of others, and in today's outfit I'm sharing another statement top that's a bit more boho and romantic as well as my new favorite pair of skinny jeans from a great jean brand that you all need to know about! I'm also discussing a little bit more about my hair cut & color, as a lot of you having been asking me several questions regarding where and who does my hair. Continue reading to learn more and also to get the scoop on where to purchase these items from my look.

SHOP THE TOP

   

This mesh lace pale pink blouse has a v-neck design with semi-sheer mesh, with crochet trimmed on neckline, as well as double layered bubble sleeves with elastic cuffs. The waist is also elastic, easily shaping the top into a beautiful silhouette. You can find this top at Chicwish, where it's currently 25% off! It's fit to size and I'm wearing a size S/M. It is also 10% polyester and lined, which is a win with the temperamental weather. But my favorite part of this blouse is the romantic-feels behind it. Wouldn't it look so chic with white pants or a white flowing maxi skirt?  

SHOP THE JEANS

   

The Farrow Ankle is DL1961's ankle length Insta-slim skinny with a high-rise, contoured waistband and a high recovery, high retention fit that instantly slims the legs, midsection and waist without ever bagging, sagging or losing its shape. Laramie is a classic mid-indigo wash with rich fading, slashed knees and ravaged hems. Sizes run big due to stretch content - if between sizes, order one size down.

    

My bag is from a brand in Chicago called The Luxelle, and the silver plated clutch/cross is super unique and fun for several different types of outfits. I think it contrasts well with the soft color and feel of the blouse and indigo of the jeans. My green heels are from BCBG and I've been wearing them since I was in college! Uber comfortable to walk around in. (trust me... I've had these pair for a while now... lol.) 

I am an Aveda ambassador, and I've been getting my hair cut & colored at Tribeca's Fourteen Jay for the past couple of years. David Adams is my colorist and Taylor Lambert is my hair stylist. They are responsible for my hair transformation with the fringe bangs and the major change in color. But mind you, it took up to ten sessions to get to this hair color while keeping my locks healthy. I hope this helps answer a lot of questions regarding my do. If you have more, don't be shy to drop me a message or leaving a comment down below!   

 

LOVE & XX'S, 

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Houndstooth & Charles Bukowski

WEARING: VINTAGE MACKINTOSH OVERSIZED HOUNDSTOOTH JACKET |
FOREVER 21 OVERSIZED CUTOUT SHIRT | LEVI'S 711 ALTERED SKINNY JEANS |
EGO NASH BACKLESS ANKLE BOOTS | CHARLES BUKOWSKI WOMEN 


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I WAS SENTIMENTAL ABOUT MANY THINGS: A WOMAN'S SHOES UNDER THE BED; ONE HAIRPIN LEFT BEHIND ON THE DRESSER; THE WAY THEY SAID, "I'M GOING TO PEE. . ."; HAIR RIBBONS, WALKING DOWN THE BOULEVARD WITH THEM AT 1:30 IN THE AFTERNOON, JUST TWO PEOPLE WALKING TOGETHER; THE LONG NIGHTS OF DRINKING AND SMOKING, TALKING; THE ARGUMENTS; THINKING OF SUICIDE; EATING TOGETHER AND FEELING GOOD; THE JOKES; THE LAUGHTER OUT OF NOWHERE; FEELING MIRACLES IN THE AIR; BEING IN A PARKED CAR TOGETHER; COMPARING PAST LOVERS AT 3AM; BEING TOLD YOU SNORE, HEARING HER SNORE; MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS, SONS, CATS, DOGS; SOMETIMES DEATH AND SOMETIMES DIVORCE, BUT ALWAYS CARRYING ON, ALWAYS SEEING IT THROUGH; READING A NEWSPAPER ALONE IN A SANDWICH JOINT AND FEELING NAUSEA BECAUSE SHE'S NOW MARRIED TO A DENTIST WITH AN I.Q. OF 95; RACETRACKS, PARKS, PARK PICNICS; EVEN JAILS; HER DULL FRIENDS, YOUR DULL FRIENDS; YOUR DRINKING, HER DANCING; YOUR FLIRTING, HER FLIRTING; HER PILLS, YOUR FUCKING ON THE SIDE, AND HER DOING THE SAME; SLEEPING TOGETHER. . . . 

One of the many passages from writer Charles Bukowski's novel, Women, I always found comfort in his writing. His style flairs in the rawest form of honesty, something that most writers today do not have. The older I become the more I realize how important it is to pull away from the idea of what perfection is supposed to be - straight to its core in every aspect. Bukowski wasn't exactly the nicest of people; a total misogynist, narcissist and straight up alcoholic. Many disliked him, but many like myself saw him as an influence not just in the realm of writing. So in today's post I'm sharing with you five things I've learned from one of my favorite American writers.

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HONESTY 

Writers have so many things they can’t write about: family, spouses, exes, children, jobs, bosses, colleagues, friends. That’s why they make stuff up. Fiction is their best friend. But Bukowski didn’t let himself get hampered by that so we see real brutal honesty, a real anthropological survey of being down and out for 60+ years without anything being held back. No other writer before or since has done that. For a particular example, see his novel, Women which detailed every sexual nuance of every woman who dared to sleep with him after he achieved some success. Most of these women were horrified after the book came out. It's actually one of my favorite books written by Bukowski and the beginning excerpt of this post is from Women. Sure he talks badly about most of the experiences he has had with women, but what I really love about it is the cold hard dose of reality that comes with any relationship: disappointment, pain, heartache... love... and the way he is so candor about some of the more intimate parts of life. Think about it, would you find it easy or rather difficult talking about your personal relationships through the written word? 

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DISCIPLINE

Imagine coming home from an awful day at work and arguing with a woman/man that was living with you, finishing off a six-pack of beer and then... writing. He did it every day. Most people want to write that novel, or finish that painting, or start that business, but have zero discipline to actually sit down and do it. I'm actually amazed he had any sort of discipline at all. With that kind of work ethic, it just goes to show that if you truly love what you're doing, it will supersede the rest. (Even through the potent powers of alcohol!) In order to be a writer, you must really love to write and you must write every single day. Easy to say, but so tough to do. I, myself, also write every day, but I'm not going to lie, there are some pretty bad days where I just want to throw my typewriter out the window. But you keep at it, because it's all you know, it's all you have and without the written word, you feel like you could die. That's how Bukowski felt too.

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SHAMELESSNESS

Bukowski didn't give a rat's ass what people thought about him. And I praise him for that. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder and am always second-guessing myself. I sometimes wish I could throw caution to the wind and really have that mentality of 'no f*cks given' at all times. But when feeling extra down, my insecurities tend to get the best of me. Learning the art of not caring what people think takes time and experience, I think. But I've always admired those who really didn't worry about the opinions of others - because it's not as easy as it looks. It can be cleverly hidden in so many different ways.

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POETRY

Bukowski was quite the poet. And it's all non-fiction, which to me, is the best part. It's not the puzzle-kind of poetry where you have to intellectually decode it to understand it. His work was straight to the point. Poetry was something that let writers to master making each word in a sentence effective and powerful. It was this training that allowed them to destroy the competition when they sat down to write their longer pieces. That's how I also got started in writing. In fact, the first two pieces I ever had published were actually poems I wrote as a young teenager. It was only after these publications that I really started to consider becoming a writer. 

PERSISTENCE

The man wrote his first novel at age 49. And it took him over 25 years to become a successful writer. Everyone (mostly everyone) nowadays wants instant gratification. Less and less are understanding what it takes to become one of the greats. I find that when most figure out how long or how much dedication/work will be required to reach whatever goal you may have, most tend to give up before even reaching that halfway mark. And Bukowski was far from perfect and yet still managed to become what he wanted to become. So if he could stay persistent despite all the misfortunes and misgivings life can bring, he still kept plugging away and never gave up. And to me, that's what makes the heart of any champion... 

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LOVE & XX'S,

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Compartmentalization

WEARING: THE KOOPLES BLAZER | HONEY COAST USA T-SHIRT | 
ADIDAS NEO CLOUDFOAM DAILY QT HIGH-TOP SNEAKER | GUCCI BELT | BDG JEANS | 
MAD-STYLE TALL METALLIC GEO TOTE BAG | MAD-STYLE TRANSLUCENT CATEYES SUNGLASSES

HAIR DONE BY OMALIA FROM MB45 STUDIO

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MB45 STUDIOMAD-STYLE & HONEY COAST USA

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"Compartmentalization is a form of emotional intelligence," according to Jeremy Yip, a lecturer and research scholar at Wharton. Psychology defines compartmentalization as a defense mechanism, or a coping strategy, which doesn’t exactly sound all that great (at first). But, it’s how our minds deal with conflicting internal points of view at the same time. Isolating and focusing on difficult issues separately is something I’ve used my entire life to get through trauma as a result of my upbringing; so one could say this skill was acquired through the years, however, I never really noticed its implications in business until recently.

When I was younger, I once heard from J-Lo (of all people) say that when it comes to one's personal life and professional one, it's crucial to be able to put one or the other aside as soon as you 'leave the door'. And she's absolutely right. You can't let either mix with the other, no matter what's going on. I know it sounds easier said than done, but I truly believe this is part of the key to success; refusing to compromise and not letting anyone get in the way of your dreams and ambitions. The way that I see it, and Eleanor Roosevelt too, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." So keep it together, don't give up and as my dad always used to say, "keep on keeping on." And having a couple of girlfriends to help you get through it all doesn't hurt one bit either. :)

A few mentions about this outfit since I got a ton of feedback from the Instagram post from the other day. Both my Cateye sunglasses and metallic tote bag are from Mad-Style, use my code, 'maqandsuz' to get 20% OFF your purchase. Lastly, my blazer is from The Kooples, skinny jeans are BDG and my high-tops are from Adidas, definite faves in the causal chic everyday wear department! What are your casual staple pieces in your closet and your thoughts on compartmentalization? 

Photos by: Layers of Chic 

LOVE & XX'S,

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