Now before we get to anything, first's things first: I'm in no way supporting anyone to go around and make enemies or to become someone's enemy, in that it's the best option/solution for oneself, but rather, how important it is to stand up for yourself (without feeling like a jerk). A quote is only a quote, in that the one above is only to set the tone of today's post (Plus, I love my boy and I'm also from Detroit so whatever.) I'm no one's doormat, and you shouldn't be anyone's as well. This goes for jobs and relationships! Continue reading to learn why it's really good (and perfectly okay) for you to say NO and why standing your ground will always win over being a pushover/people pleaser/someone who's scared shitless of saying no.
In my line of work, I know a lot of you consider bloggers don't really 'work'. I get it. You see it like this: We take pics and get free stuff every day and basically get paid to promote brands and travel the world. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal! But guess what? There's so much more that goes into it. We don't just take pics. We spend countless hours in scouting locations, searching inspo from magazines, art, and more in order to come up with the perfectly styled photo-op. We take everything into consideration. I don't just aimlessly wander the streets of New York to stumble on some random backdrop in the regular outfit I'm in for the day and voila. Hell, most days I look like a chic bum in a casual tee and jeans while searching for the above mentioned for the next shoot. Or I'm behind a computer working like a madwoman. And then comes the shoot. I do my hair and makeup, we travel to the location; the shoot alone normally takes almost up to an hour. Post-production is about another two depending on the difficulty level of the edits. And then cross-promotion on social media. The whole process takes TIME and EFFORT and YES, hard work. We do this every day, not to mention meetings, endless emails, events, errands of everyday life and even more like prop shopping, dog walking, etc;! Phew!
So what irks me to no end? When a brand or agency who doesn't appreciate this and micro-manages you and/or takes advantage of you. Most bloggers are too afraid or are unwilling to disclose their horrific experiences (and let me tell you, we have ALL had them.) If you're going to tell me it's been nothing but smooth-sailing for you, then trust me, you're full of it. Because like anything else in life you take the good and the bad. But, once the line is crossed and you disrespect me or my work, I will most certainly call you out on it and stick up for myself. And you should too! Short but karma-induced blogger story: Cute blogger girl gets offered free boozy adult popsicles as the new brand ambassador. Brand ships product only to not have it delivered due to her not being home but at work. Instead of just shipping it to her office, they berated her for not being home to be able to receive the package. Cute blogger girl responds diplomatically but also assertively while also saying no to the collab after the mistreatment. She furthermore let other bloggers/influencers know about the brand and her experience with them. No this did not happen to me, but to a friend of mine. Moral of the story? Don't mistreat or take advantage of bloggers. You'd be surprised how more and more of us are so done with the bullshit and are done playing nice. Screw you at some point! Especially after having wonderful experiences with brands and agencies who do take care of you, fairly and with honesty. Don't stick around with those that do not respect you!
Because life's too short. Even in relationships. Yes, relationships are complicated. But if at any point someone just keeps making you feel more and more like BLEGH (and it's all usually for their own benefit: i.e; ego boost, someone to pass the time with, misery loves company, etc.) Walk away. Even ghost if they're that awful. If that's what they deserve. Why be nice anymore to anyone who doesn't treat you with the same respect for your time and effort?! Like I said, whether it's a personal or business relationship, both should be positive and beneficial to all parties involved. Everyone should be happy. So for me standing up for yourself is an act of self-love. Coming from a rough background, I've been doing it since I was a kid and it sometimes can rub off on others as being aggressive/combative but hey - I'm not Mary Poppins or in court so I will speak to you honestly and reactively when disrespected in any kind of manner. Today I had a pr girl interrupt and talk over me while I was asking for content specifics. And when I told her not to interrupt me she said she didn't appreciate my combative behavior. Mind you I had repeatedly asked for specifics beforehand. And for days. I have zero tolerance for any kind of disrespectful behavior. And in this way, the other person will definitely know what you are trying to communicate rather than using "qualifiers" in your speech - words that minimize the strength of your message by apologizing or minimizing what you have to say. Now there's no need for name-calling or taking hits below the belt. But don't say you're sorry if you're uncomfortable about something, just say that you're uncomfortable! Just be frank and get to your point.
Everyone can have their bad day(s). This Mercury in retrograde has me wonky beyond comprehension but this doesn't excuse anyone's behavior or mistakes. So the next time you're unsure about working with a particular brand/agency, trust your gut because it's always right! And remember what's more important? Selling out to some $$$-contracted job where you're not treated fairly or your SELF-RESPECT? And YES, no woman or man is too fine or too amazing to make this an exception. Take pride in how you treat others as well as yourself because it will, in turn, affect the way that person treats someone else too. Spread love, but when necessary, never ever be afraid to stand up for yourself! Shop this La Doublej orange floral print ruffle dress here or in the shop section down below.
LOVE & XX'S,