Calico Print Matching Set



Happy Monday, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful Mother's Day weekend. Sadly, my mother is no longer with us so this time period always has mixed emotions for me. I don't want to get too far into it as I've dedicated entire posts to her in the past (here and here) but nobody wants a Debbie Downer all the time. Which is why I didn't do one this year. It's hard for me because sometimes I want to share my story, but then there are other times where I feel those times that I did have with my mother are sacred, and not meant to be shared with just anyone. I'm extremely private and guarded - which is something I still struggle with that coincides with what I do in my career. I am supposed to be a public figure, be open to sharing everything about me to the public eye, but I never have nor will be that person. I think one day I will definitely share more, but it's just how I'm built. And I don't want the pity - all the 'I feel sorry for you' looks and those that don't know what to say when you tell them that not one but both of your parents are gone. It sucks. But I'll tell you this. As a creative person, such heartache and pain have brought me closer to the artistic notions in a very complicated world. And I'm grateful. 

It's as if it opened my eyes to something bigger, more profound than anything before. You see - I don't create to get rich, or make friends, or for self-validating purposes. The only reason I have when it comes to creating my work is because I feel compelled to. Without it and if someone were to tell me right now that I no longer could write or take any more photographs for the rest of my days, I'll tell ya what... I'd be seeing you. It's that important to me. Not that I'm a Caravaggio by any means, but that same insanity, that same feeling of release I get other artists may feel when creating their work? That's everything to me. It's the only way I know how to gather every little detail out of life and to put it into one entity and feeling whole afterward. Do any of you feel like that?

But something my mother taught me about passion and art is that once you find what you're looking for, pursue it with all your might, but in turn, be more focused on the journey and not about reaching the destination. You need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving. There will always be someone prettier, richer, working with better brands than you. Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live your best life. You are not in competition with anyone else. Plan to outdo your past, not people. Which can sometimes be difficult when you're competitive and extremely hard on yourself. Remember this, however - we are all going through shit. Big and/or small, what's important is to be kind, and to be aware. Even And to always try your best to bring forth something new and fresh. Make a little bit of difference, even if it's just for yourself. Or even better, for someone else. 

Which is why I'm gearing more towards creative direction, photography & styling rather than just being a blogger who shoots pretty pics of brunch, outfits and "stuff". (Even though this floral set is only $15 and you should totally check it out! ;)) There's so much more to life than that and I find limiting myself to one box doesn't inspire me or challenge me. I'm currently working on my second book, and though my first book was fiction (crime thriller), I'm pursuing a different genre. Not much to say at the moment, as I've learned, it's better to SHOW rather than to TELL. Wishing you all a kick ass week filled with goals, adventures and love.