Kazman Blues

Four years ago today, (Kazman as some of his friends called him,) my father unexpectedly passed away. Since his death, I've had extreme difficulties talking about him, let alone sharing anything with anyone. I had brought back home with me several of his belongings, including his recorded cassette tapes, some from live radio but most of it is his own work, his guitar and all his picks, and his written words. He liked to write down his songs on paper, some songs are from the Rolling Stones, The Cure, Elvis, etc; but he wrote a lot of his own songs too. He was a true musician. And a very talented one at that.

We weren't on good terms towards the end of his life. So, I inevitably regretted this. I still do. I think that's why I have a tough time speaking or writing about my dad, because it didn't just hurt me to the core, amongst other predicaments like my entire family and I's estrangement, but because I never got to say goodbye. Ever hear the question of what's worse; watching someone you love die a slow and painful death, or a sudden, unexpected one? It's the latter, trust me. I lost my mother to cancer and it was just as heart-breaking, but the worst is not ever being able to say what you wanted to say. With my mother I was able to do this. I told her I loved her before she went, and knowing she heard me, it brought me a little bit of peace. Of course, I know my father loved me. We had a special bond before it all went to hell. And I will always have to carry this with me. I will always be wishing to tell him all of things I couldn't have told him, being the only one that actually mattered, is that I loved him. Deeply.  

Since four years ago, I haven't taken his guitar out of its jacket. Nor have I ever even opened the box of tapes or really took the time to look through his work. It's not that I never wanted to, it's because I never could. It was far too painful to see. Alas, I felt compelled to finally see everything today because I strongly believe it's part of the grieving process. And it's a forever one. Anyone that tells you a loss will one day not hurt anymore is full of shit. They don't know what they're talking about. When you lose someone you truly loved, you can never regain that love back, the loss will remain with you forever. As a photographer, I also felt the urge to photograph some of his most cherished parts of him, which was his words and music. I wanted to share with you another piece of me, of where I come from because with all that's going on in the world right now, which is something I have to acknowledge, I've always believed in spreading stories of love, hope & strength can not only inspire someone, but perhaps, change their perspective, and in turn, change their hearts. 

As part of my grieving process, I think breaking through people, things, even sentiments you may fear, can only help you. At least you're facing these fears. You might cry, you might get down, you might even get really angry. But this is all part of grief. So, I shed a few tears when documenting this, but it was a beautiful, moving experience. I felt closer to him. Instantly. And felt better than I imagined I would.

 This is the last photograph I ever took of my dad. Of course, he was playing the guitar. And it's the same one I have with me. I grew up listening to him play, mostly blues and some rock, but I was utterly fascinated with his ability to play. He was really that great. Even self-taught. I tried to persuade him into making a demo, but he never took his music seriously. It was something he just truly loved to do. An enjoyment and creative outlet no one could ever take away from him. Tell me, how many times has music saved your life? Music has always been like food or art to me, something I can't live without. And it has many times, pulled me out of the gutter and back into place. Stronger. Better. 

The pen is mightier than the sword. And so is music, art, and love. LOVE.

I know there's so many people in the world who are feeling the way I feel right now. And I'm sure it feels like no matter what you say or do, it won't really make a difference anyway. But it will. Because the more and more people stand up and tell their stories, the more we can understand one another and be united. Because without knowing, there is fear. And without fear, there is knowing. So I ask you today, in honor of my father, keep sharing your lives and stories. I don't care what or who you are. If you're the color purple like Barney the Dinosaur, it doesn't matter to me. What matters is to treat people with patience, kindness and fairness. If you're not hurting anyone or yourself, I love you. Do it for those who no longer have their loved ones around to hug tight and tell them how much we love and care for them. Because we'll be wishing for this until our dying day. Let's stop the miscommunication and get talking, people. If you haven't talked to someone you loved in a while, pick up the phone and check to see how they're doing. You never know how much this might mean to a person. Potentially, even saving them. Love. Love. Love. Just always, love. Until next time, L-O-V-E, LOVE. ❤️❤️❤️

LOVE & XX'S,

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5 Tips on Dog Walking Etiquette in a Big City

WEARING: ANIMAL HEARTED 'I ❤️ MY GERMAN SHEPHERD TANK TOP | 
FOREVER 21 CUFFED DENIM SHORTS | LASSO RUDDER LEASH 

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Happy Thursday, everyone! I'm delighted about the short work week! We are looking forward to the weekend, where we spend most of our time outside walking MaQ and having fun. But, having a massive German Shepherd in a city such as New York, does have its setbacks and challenges. But I'm all for being resourceful, so with that, today I'm sharing with you my 5 tips on dog walking etiquette in a big city, like the New York metropolitan area!  

1. KNOW YOUR DOG

Knowing your dog's strengths and flaws along with what and who your dog's likes and dislikes are, will bring more awareness when you're out and about. They also say dogs are mirror images to their owners, so be mindful of who you are. If you're an anxious person, you're pet will more than likely be as well. This is also the time to put away the phones! Stop scrolling and pay attention to your surroundings and your dog. But don't forget to enjoy your time together and the little moments that really matter the most. 

2. LEAD THE WAY

When it comes to leadership, you want to do this as soon as possible with your dog. As the Alpha pack leader, you must always be the first to enter or exit out of any passageway, may that be a door, elevator, etc. Not only does this demonstrate who is the leader, but this is also demonstrates self-control. Having your dog sprint outside can cause many behavioral issues such as over-excitement, anxiety and other bad manners. Not everyone, dogs included, like to see a ginormous wolf-like hound bursting out of a door first. When it comes to your daily walks, which is approximately 1.5 - 2 hours a day with MaQ in the city, you also lead the way. Remember, you're walking the dog not the other way around. Training your dog to hell is very important and an essential tool for you on your walks. Forging isn't as bad - this is when your dog is walking slightly past your feet. It's actually a great preventative for dogs who ten to go looking for scraps on the streets of a bigger city. This way, you have a better chance of catching them before they consume it. Overall, leading on walks puts you, in your dog's mind, as the pack leader. This makes them much more trainable because they will be aiming to please you non-stop, and they will also be more obedient - making walks a pleasure rather than a nightmare.  

3. ALWAYS ASK FIRST

Regardless how much you love dogs, and trust me on this, as I'm a total dog lover myself, you should always ask permission if you'd like to approach someone's pet. The same should go with your dog meeting other dogs. You can never know, at first glance, if a dog is friendly, aggressive or even a service dog of some kind, especially on some of those harnesses that clearly label, 'DO NOT PET', some still may miss it while overdosing on cuteness overload. :)

4. KEEP YOUR DOG ON A LEASH AT ALL TIMES

Walking the streets of New York, I can tell you I've had my fair share of experiences when it comes to seeing many owners walk their dogs unleashed! This frightens people, especially with certain larger breeds that people are opted to be more scared of. In a city like ours, it is best to keep your dog on a leash as a protector from all the street and people traffic. Of course, dog parks and other places like this are an exception. But being out in public with hundreds of people walking around all the time, it's just better for everybody. 

5. PICK UP AFTER YOUR DOG

Lastly... ever see that Sex & the City episode when Carrie steps in a knee-deep pile of poo-poo while in Paris? Yeah, no one wants that! I too have had my fair share with these encounters and if it's not too much to ask (literally takes 30 seconds of your life), please pick up after your dog!  

Thanks for stopping by! Don't forget to check out the full video for this post on our YouTube channel! Got some questions after reading this article? Leave them down below in the comment box! Hope you all have a great rest of the week! 

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Sponsored post in collaboration with LASSO & Animal Hearted. 

photos + videography by Gilles Decamps | director, editing, & styling by Suzanne Spiegoski

Greetings from the Big Apple! A {NEW VIDEO} is now up on our channel! We're sharing 5 Tips on Dog Walking Etiquette in a big city, such as the New York metropolitan area! 

LOVE & XX'S, 

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Kimchi Potato Salad

Happy Fourth of July, everyone! On this day it is my tradition to cook like a mad woman in the kitchen. I normally barbecue ribs or fry up some chicken, but since creating my blog, I've been heavily creating most of my recipes to be Korean-fusion inspired. One of my favorite side dishes for an occasion like today is classic-American potato salad. If you know me well, I could survive off of potatoes. Must be the Polish in me.    

So I created my traditional potato salad, but with a twist! I added in some Napa cabbage Kimchi, juice included, to give this dish some heat and tanginess. For extra spice, I also included a couple of generous tablespoons of gochujang, a Korean red pepper paste. I would say this can be optional if you're not as much into spiciness like I am. If you're not into spice at all, you can omit the gochujang along with the kimchi and still make an awesome OG potato salad. :) 

Be sure not to over cook either the potatoes or eggs. A mushy potato salad is neither appealing or very tasteful. In terms of texture, you want to make sure the potatoes are cooked tender but still firm. This usually takes about fifteen minutes. As for the eggs, always submerge them in cold water rather than hot when you first begin to cook them. This prevents the eggs from cracking and becoming overcooked. 

recipe + photos by © Suzanne Spiegoski

Kimchi Potato Salad

Ingredients:
5 potatoes
3 eggs
16 oz cabbage kimchi, chopped with juice
2 Tbsp gochujang
1c celery, chopped
1/2c red onion, chopped
1/2c sweet pickle relish
1/4 tsp garlic salt
1/4 tsp Alderwood smoked sea salt
1/4 tsp celery salt
1 Tbsp prepared Dijon mustard
1/4c mayonnaise
fresh ground black pepper to taste
black sesames seeds and scallion for garnish

Directions:
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add potatoes and cook until tender but still firm, about 15 minutes. Drain, cool, peel and chop.
Place eggs in a saucepan and cover with cold water. Bring water to a boil; cover, remove from heat, and let eggs stand in hot water for 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from hot water, cool, peel and chop.
In a large bowl, combine kimchi, gochujang, celery, onion, relish, garlic salt, alderwood smoked sea salt, celery salt, mustard, mayonnaise and pepper. Add in potatoes and eggs. Mix together well and refrigerate until chilled.

For garnish, I used green onion for color and crispness, (red onion is also best in a potato salad, in my opinion, for these reasons as well) and black sesame seeds for the final detail. This side dish is perfect to bring to any barbecue or family/friend get-together, especially on a day like today, or any other summer event you may have planned for the remainder of the season. This did not last long in my kitchen!  

Don't go too far, I've got new and exciting posts coming later this week! One post will be focusing on MaQ and dog walking in a big city such as New York and I will also be sharing my very first travel diary from our anniversary trip to Cape Cod last week! I can't wait to share! In the meantime, have a fun & safe Fourth. Love you all! God Bless America. 

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Cape Cod Style

WEARING: ROMWE WHITE STRIPED SPLIT DRESS | ZARA CORK + LEATHER WEDGES |
ALDO CROSSETT CROSS BODY | J. CREW PANAMA HAT | NATHALIE GARÇON SCARF | 
ROMWE GOLD RINGS

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Hey, everyone! I'm back! I've been away on our mini-vacation to Cape Cod, and what a treat it was! My husband and I celebrated being together for ten years, and bringing our boy, MaQ, was the icing on the cake. The Cape is such a magical place. Keep your eyes open for a travel diary post in the next coming days. I'm excited to share with you our amazing adventures! We even ran into another German Shepherd in Provincetown and let them play together in the marina one afternoon. What are the odds of that? :)

I've partnered with ROMWE, a lovely clothing line that's chic and affordable for every woman, in all shapes and sizes. They've got some crazy discounts and deals at the moment. Trendy long-sleeve dresses are 60% off your first order! That's only one of the many specials they currently have. Ladies, definitely check them out! I love my casual white striped dress that I wore non-stop while in the Cape. With drawstrings and pockets, it's a sporty feel with comfort and style. Perfect for summer, especially this long weekend approaching us! The dress can be worn over your bathing suit or for a casual stroll through the many magical destinations of Cape Cod. 

It felt good to take a break from the internet and social media, but it's also great to be back! I have many upcoming projects I'm just dying to share with you! Stay tuned...

Photos by: Gilles Decamps

Sponsored post in collaboration with ROMWE.

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Mei Lin Interview — More Than a Chef

When you think of Detroit, I’m sure one (or all) of these come to mind; Blue-collar, 8 Mile, Henry Ford & GM. Motown oldies. Eminem. Maybe Kid Rock? But how about a female Chinese chef? What most don’t know about the city I grew up in is its deep cultural melting pot and the results from that kind of diversity. And Mei Lin is certainly a by-product from this environment.  

Even though growing up in Detroit city’s prominent multicultural population, the Asian community is scarce. As a young girl, I did get bullied and picked on, but I never let it have an affect on me. Neither did Mei. The most difficult part was relating to the other kids, especially during the stages of adolescence. Just think about the difference in each other’s lunch-boxes, let alone a new and unfamiliar culture. And then coming from very typical standard Asian traditions, our parents strongly urged us to go to school to become a successful doctor or lawyer, where the idea of social conformity was the last thing we wanted to do. The Motor City gives you an edge, a sort of inner intensity that’s been mentally building up through the years. Survival of the fittest, if you will. You’ll definitely develop a backbone. The 313 made us want to get out and see the rest of the world.

The winner of “Top Chef” Season 12, Mei grew working alongside her family-owned-and-operated restaurant (Kong Kow) outside of Detroit. Surprisingly enough, she didn’t want to become a chef until later, while in college. Initially going into pre-nursing, that pursuit came to a screeching halt when she saw the sight of actual human blood. Afterward, she enrolled in the culinary arts program at Schoolcraft College. Since then she has worked for some of the most respected chefs in the industry. Michael Symon (Roast), Marcus Samuelsson (C-House) and Eric Klein (Spago) are just to name a few. After spending time in Chicago and Las Vegas, she relocated to West Hollywood and joined Michael Voltaggio's opening team at ink. in Los Angeles, where she climbed the ranks to become his sous chef in three years. Ambitious, to say at the very least.

What rose her to stardom was her victory on “Top Chef”. And what’s even better? She had no intentions of even going on the show. If it weren’t for her friends, she may have never done it. And the best part of the whole experience was not just the knowledge gained and lessons learned - it was all about the camaraderie amongst the other contestants on the show. While watching her during the entire season, the competition was fierce but what was even more palpable was their mutual respect and trust towards one another. Mei has several tattoos, even a little piggy to commemorate their win during the restaurant episode, where she and a few other chefs created Four Pigs. Her most recent addition is a vibrant strawberry on her back arm, also in celebration to her final dish on the show, which in my opinion, sealed her fate.   

Through the twenty-some odd years I’ve known Mei, she has continued to be such an inspiration. She is subtle, resilient and a force to be reckoned with. The ultimate badass. Her background is clear in her dishes, and her personality never fails to shine through in her flavors and plating. One of the finest artists in the kitchen, in my eyes, it never was an easy ride for the now-acclaimed chef. You should see all her ‘battle’ scars! During her downtime, when she’s not gallivanting around the world cooking and creating incredible dishes and meals, you can find her at a local L.A eatery or in the comfort of her own home, with a bowl of hot ramen or her favorite go-to comfort food, Hunan chicken. Unless she wants to amp up the wow-factor, she’ll slow cook you one of the best prime rib of your life. That is, if you can wait for nearly six hours.

For more info on Mei, go to her website.

Photos by © Suzanne Spiegoski 

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