10 Years in New York City - Part 1

Woah, it's official! This week marks my ten year anniversary living in New York City! I'm incredibly proud to finally be able to call myself a real New Yorker! In the past decade, I've changed careers twice, wrote my first novel, found MaQ, the German Shepherd dog I've always wanted since I was a child, and married the man of my dreams. Phew! But it's true what they say, "If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere." One helluva ride, I've been doing a lot of reflecting over the past decade of my life and how far I've come. It's been a very humbling experience and New York has helped me grow in ways I didn't even know were possible. So, here are 10 things I've learned on my journey as a New Yorker.

Brooklyn Bridge.

1. YOU BETTER WORK!

RuPAUL, you are preaching to the choir! Living in NYC is ridiculously expensive and everyone out here wants their fair-shared bite out of the Big Apple. But in order to party hard, you better work even harder. And I mean you better work like you've never worked in your entire life! I've been working since the age of 12 and nothing ever came easy for me. For many years, I've held down 2 to 3 jobs at once all the while working on other projects like my novel or whipping up some new recipes or coming up with a new photographic series. I've worked my butt off to get to where I am today. And that kind of work ethic is vital to be able to live here. It's not even an option.

2. LOVE WHAT YOU DO.

Words are my life and have always been my gateway to outward expression and my release from the trials and tribulations of life. I had dabbled in creative writing such as short stories and some poetry during my adolescence, even getting a few of my poems published while in college. So, I started writing again after transplanting myself from the Motor City to the island of Manhattan. It was like a lightning bolt had struck me, straight to the core. Immediately I knew I wanted to take my writing more seriously. This could be my way of helping and contributing to society and most importantly, do something I love doing, no matter how long it was going to take to work my way towards becoming an established writer. Here if you want it bad enough you'll do it for free, but my firm belief is never work for money and/or success. Your work should feel significant and meaningful to you. Work for a cause, not for applause. The money will follow. Hard work pays off, for real though!

3. CAN'T READ MY POKER FACE.

Ever hear how New Yorkers aren't the smiling type? It's true. Sort of. We're honest folks, pretty blunt actually in it's truest and rawest form. New Yorkers are not about letting people know too much of their business because most people don't care, they're just curious. Nosey. Nobody's got time for that! They want to see you do good (perhaps), but never better than them - something I will never understand. I'm everyone's cheerleader! Why would you want someone to lose rather than win? Because it's an extremely competitive town and after a few years even, being in the Concrete Jungle, I think a person is only bound to build that "don't mess with me" type of NYC mentality. Plus it wards off the cacklers, trollers, fakes and haters of the world while keeping yourself in check!

4. THE FOOD HERE IS UNLIKE ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD.

I may be tiny and petite, but I can eat like a horse. I LOVE FOOD. But my upbringing, in terms of food experience, wasn't very eclectic. I grew up mostly on Korean and American food. As a kid, The Olive Garden and Red Lobster were considered one of the 'nicer' restaurants. But living in NYC where the culinary melting pot is literally right outside your apartment, is one of my greatest pleasures living here. Never have I eaten better or with more wonder and joy than I have in the past ten years. NYC really does have every type of ethnic cuisine you can imagine and I've learned so much about cooking and food in general. Okay, now I need to stop talking about this. My stomach's growling. ;-) But seriously, you haven't had food until you've been to New York!

5. OOEY GOOEY ROMANCE AT IT'S FINEST

When I think of all the sights and sounds of the city, I am filled with so many memories (good and bad, and just downright ugly) of my past relationships. New York City is a great place to be single, but I think it's an even better place to fall in love. Two different types of people with two different types of perspectives, equals countless hours of exploring the city. Different parts of the city. Sure it's great to do some solo-adventuring, but it's the best when shared with someone you deeply love. Some of my favorite memories are nestled in this gorgeous town with the love of my life. My husband and I met in the East Village, he proposed at the Metropolitan Opera and we married in Central Park at Strawberry Fields, right on top of the John Lennon, 'Imagine' memorial. For me, the city brings out your romantic side, at full speed! Unforgettable moments. For reals.

6. NOTHING GOES AS PLANNED.

My dad used to say, "If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans." My five year plan after college was to join the police force. (I know, what?! I'll tell y'all about it another time.) Obviously I changed my mind, ha ha! I'm very thankful for all the experiences that I've gained from the different jobs I've had through the years. I'm constantly evolving as a person, and I think all that personal growth from work has helped mold me into who I am today. When I stopped trying to plan my life down to every single detail, the better life has become. Not to say that you should be some irresponsible hot mess, but unplanned events, both positive or negative, can lead to wonderful things. Don't try so hard because life really does have a funny way of working things out. Letting go can be very powerful. Everything will fall into place whether you like it or not!

New York City Skyline.

7. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE HERE.

Life in NYC is not at all like the way the TV and big screen depict it. It's the fashion capital of the world, but not everyone is running around like Carrie Bradshaw. People dress the way they want to dress. New Yorkers do what they want to do and they do what they got to do too. This place can eat you alive, so never try to live by someone else's way. Be authentic and be true to yourself, through thick and thin, because the city life can get pretty stressful. Sometimes too much it seems. But don't give up. Be real to yourself. If you are, no matter what difficulties life wants to throw your way, you'll be able to figure it out. Look at how much pressure goes into making a diamond! That's the beauty of New York, you never know what can happen!

8. STAY CONNECTED BUT WATCH YOUR BACK.

It's all about who you know in this town but if that means having to force yourself in dealing with highly toxic people, walk away. You don't have to sacrifice your dignity or integrity for anyone or anything. That's far too important, to me at least, and life's too short. Work with those you can grow and learn from. If they're not bringing anything to the table and it's just negative, time to move on. You deserve better. It's tough being appreciated here, because the city of New York doesn't owe you anything. It's nothing personal and no one's perfect after all, but this shouldn't make you have to short-list what you feel is fair or right for yourself. Networking and staying connected is an imperative tool in New York, but that doesn't mean there's no snakes in the grass.

9. MAKE TIME AND SPACE FOR YOURSELF.

I will forever be a city girl at heart. The idea of living in the middle of nowhere with not much to do is a little nerve-wrecking to me. In my opinion that's too much space! But sometimes the city feels like there's not enough space. Trust me, you know what I'm talking about if you've ever squeezed into a subway car train during rush hour like sardines in a can! There is no sense of personal space in the city. So it's good to take a retreat every once in a while. I always feel rejuvenated and revived after spending some quiet time with nature and being outdoors. It does the body and soul good. :)

10. LIVING IN NYC VS. BEING IN NYC

Ambition means more in this town than talent, but that shouldn't deter you from having some kind of social life. Don't just work, play! There's a million and one things to do in NYC and one of the biggest perks living here is being able to do them. I've been to the Brooklyn Bridge many many times, but I particularly wanted to walk it with my boys on my ten year anniversary living here. It is such an epic landmark and was quite the New York moment to have. Make the most of this city because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

My city, my town. New York City Forever, baby!

Well, New York - I made it. And on my own terms. Feeling pretty groovy and happy to be alive. Keep banging. I will always love you. (But not without my whips and chains, you naughty city you! I need to straighten you out from time to time!) :P

Cheers to the greatest city in the world! Stay tuned for Part 2 of my NYC anniversary extravaganza! ♥

Love & xx's

Throwback 2015

Happy New Year's Eve! Another year has come and gone, and as always, seems to go by way too fast. 2015 was not exactly what I had thought it was going to be but I am grateful for this year and for new beginnings. Life's full of twists and turns, bumps and bruises - I live, I learn. I'm a fighter. And I know that with a positive mind with positive vibes, this will always bring for a positive life. No one ever gets to have it all, at least not all at once, so with that in mind, I wanted to look back on 2015 to see where I've been and where I'm headed.

New Year Family Photo, 2015.

The Fisherman's Lily: A Novel by Suzanne Spiegoski

Winter 2015

The beginning to last year kicked off with a bang! Several years after working on finishing my first work of fiction, my dreams of getting traditionally published finally came true. It was a very exciting time, and to see the fruits of my labor come to life was one for the books. I've always wanted to write a novel and I'm so proud of my accomplishment. A lesson for the dreamers - you can do whatever you set up your mind to do.

I will be writing a full blog post next month, marking my 1 year anniversary since debuting my novel, The Fisherman's Lily. There I will tell you the full story behind how everything came together, from the first creative steps to publication, and all the sacrifices it took to make this happen, I can't wait to share with you guys! Want to read my book beforehand? It's available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, both in digital and paperback.

Spring 2015

The rest of the winter and beginning of spring were very difficult times. I had to learn one of the toughest lessons in life, that no matter how you might feel about only wanting the best for those around you; that even if you put their happiness before your own, never ever expect the same in return. Sadly, people can be extremely jealous and spiteful with a mission in life to make you as miserable as they are. Not your problem. The only person responsible for you is ... YOU! If you're not happy, how can trying to make someone else happy give you happiness? It's the same as if trying to love someone when you don't even love yourself. Not going to happen. You can try, but the end result will always be the same. You won't be happy until you decide this is the most important part of you. It's one thing to be a generous, kind and open-hearted person, but it's quite another to be taken advantage of, knowingly of your most genuine intentions. Bottom line? Do more of what makes you happy, dammit!

So after working as a figure skating coach for nearly ten years, I decided to completely walk away from it. (!) I know it seems pretty brash right? Wait. I loved the sport with everything I had and in return, it did not love me back. I never sought out to become an Olympic coach but only went back to the world of figure skating when I wanted to give something back from my pastimes as a skater. I adore children and at the time, I thought, "What better way than to do something like this and truly enjoy it simultaneously?" Sounded like a dream job, right? Not quite. I've always first and foremost have been an artist, someone in the creative field, and for me that was my writing and photography. But at some point, my focus was only on being a coach. I had little to no time for anything else. I managed to write a novel while coaching, but because of my limited time it took me over four years to complete. Upon finishing the book, my heart began to tug at it's strings, as if trying to tell me something wasn't exactly quite right. Like I had found all the missing pieces to a puzzle, except for the very last one I couldn't never seemingly find. And the lack of support amongst peers and colleagues was palpable, most of them acting disappointed that I'd ever want to do anything else with my life besides skating. It was time to go. It was an extremely tough choice to make but now looking back on my decision, it was one of the best choices I've ever made. My state of well-being literally depended on it! So, now what? 

Summer 2015

I really stepped out of my comfort zone when I chose to leave the skating world, but it was for the ultimate sacrifice. Now I have more time to do what I truly want to be doing, and for me, that was always in the arts. So, when one my of best friends suggested the idea of doing a boudoir photoshoot, I jumped at the opportunity! Agnes, or, 'Agi' is ridiculously talented and I was so honored to work with someone I hold so dear to my heart. Being photographed buck-naked out in the middle of the wilderness? Talk about being out of your comfort zone! I was really nervous about the whole process even though we're so close. Being a photographer, it is a real uphill battle to be the one in front of the camera. And because of my insecurities and lack of self-esteem, I didn't think she'd be able to bring that saucy lil' minx out of me, but...

Boudoir Photoshoot with Yellow Brick Collective, Summer 2015. Photo: © Agnes Fohn

I never felt more beautiful and if you look at more of the photos here, you'll really be able to grasp the sensibility in each of them. It clearly demonstrates a deep friendship filled with so much love and care. Thank you Agi, from the bottom of my heart, for such meaningful photos and for an even more meaningful friendship. I love you. x.

With my confidence in tow, I slowly but surely started working on my second novel. Unfortunately, the creative juices haven't been flowing as easily as I had hoped. To be fair, a sequel, or even a second novel is always more challenging than the first one. Without the first one, you'd have little room to grow and strive. I think the first one is to learn, more so than anything else. But as a writer, I believe there's a reason why one might get stuck on a particular project. Either your heart's not really in it or there's some sort of technical drawback that prevents you from continuing on your writing path.

A few years back I tried starting a food blog (sort of) where I would post a new recipe each week. With my coaching job along with trying to complete a book, I could barely keep it consistent after only doing it for a couple of months. But then during this summer, a lightbulb went off in my head. For so long, I wondered why I wasn't able to put together all my strengths and skills in one format, and then bam! MaQ + Suz popped into my mind and screamed, "DUH!" I had always wanted to incorporate my 'tools of the trade' into one concept, and it just felt so right and so good. I launched my lifestyle blog in August and since then it has taken off!  

Since it's launch 5 months ago, I've worked with over 20 brands ranging from jewelry to skincare products, to food & drink collaborations to dog-related events. MaQ + Suz is living up to it's statement, sharing our everyday lives with you, and I couldn't be happier doing it! Not only do I consider it to be the newest chapter in my life, but the most challenging workload I've ever taken on. And it feels absolutely fantastic to truly be able to do what I love for a living. It wasn't easy, but anything worth having takes non-stop hard work. That "can't stop, won't stop" mentality runs in the Spiegoski blood.

Fall 2015

The highlight of the Autumn season was the season itself. Any chance I can get I'll bring MaQ with me to take in the scenery and of course to gulp down some of that crisp, fresh air. The older I get, the more I appreciate nature and it's special rejuvenating, healing powers. The best part in life is not the destination, but the journey. I don't care how much money is to be made, or how much travelling I'll get crossed off my to-do/bucket list, because all of it wouldn't even matter if I didn't have my health and spirit. And it'd be meaningless without the ones I love and cherish in my life. My husband and MaQ show me on a daily basis the greatest lesson in life, and that is to love and be loved in return. Without love, without hope, without positivity, it'd all be irrelevant.

Life shouldn't always be a plan. You never know what you're going to expect but that's the best part of the journey. Remember to work hard, hope for the best (but don't be a fool and forget to prepare for the worst) and stay true to the ones you love most in life because without them, it'd be awfully lonely and the idea of making memories less and less important.

Me & MaQ in Harriman State Park, November 2015.

Cheers to the last blog post of 2015! I'm looking forward to what the new year may bring, and all the more excited to continue in sharing with you in what's to come. Life will bring disappointments and heartache, but it's all a matter of perspective. We are all blessed. Have a great night, be safe out there and take care!

Love & xx's,