Paint It Black

WEARING: TOBI TRENDY BLACK MIDI DRESS | ROSEGAL SILVER BEAD HOOPS | 
STEVE MADDEN LUXE BLACK OPEN TOE PUMPS

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY TOBI

 

BEFORE I TOUCH DIRT, I'LL KILL YOU ALL WIT' KINDNESS... I KILL YA, MY NATURAL PERSONA'S MUCH WORSE.

 

Have you ever had a dinner where the food is really great, the ambiance is dope but the company in which you keep perhaps maybe not as much so? Sure not every outing I've ever been on has gone swell. But sometimes, the people I have to converse with (not saying many but there are a few...) makes me want to scratch my eyes out. And there are all kinds of factors to set in as well. First, do you have something interesting to talk about other than Instagram algorithms or how vapid the world has become, you included? Or are we going to go around the exact typical merry-go-round of shooting the breeze? Am I one not to give a younger person a chance to talk to simply because they don't fall into the same age category as me? Hell, no! In fact, I've gotten very close to a much younger gal who is like my kid sister. She is half my age, but wise beyond her years. Age is yet again nothing but a number. To me, it's all about emotional maturity. I have no trouble relating with an 80-year-old just as much as with a 17-year-old; so long as you're not a complete baboon with nothing to offer me except wasted time. No, I'm not saying no one has anything to offer because we all do. But what really counts is what you do with it and your time while you're here. And nothing irks me more than wasted time. Because you'll never get it back. Tell me a story, share with me your ideas, beliefs, and passions. Secondly, do you know that saying, where it goes something along the lines of being kind to everyone you meet because you never know what kind of battle they're fighting? Seems fair, right? Trust me as I live and breathe it, there are a lot of people who are not kind at all. And if you cross me or do something that's not in the 'kindness' category to me or someone I love? You're going to see the Detroit-side in me that most people never see. And it ain't a pretty sight. 

I grew up right smack dab in the middle of Detroit. No, not Bloomfield Hills or Birmingham, not even Troy or Livonia. And my childhood was quite difficult. My parents fought like cats & dogs, and the I grew up always either being afraid or anxious. My father was concerned for me while raising me in Detroit. For one, I'm Asian (where there was literally a total of three Asian families within our entire community) and being petite, my physical attributes had a tendency to put me in vulnerable positions. I was bullied and ostracized until I left for college. And so, even at a very young age, my father taught me how to fight, both physically and mentally. A boxer in his early -teens, he may have instilled too much fight in me. Some of my closest friends have confessed to me that I can come across intimidating, carrying a full-blown "don't f*&k with me" attitude, even up to the point of looking like Lucy Liu's RBF. Which hey, this I won't take as a bad thing... ;)

Which I guess can be one of the reasons why people may find it hard to approach me, but I promise you this - I do not bite... HARD. Ha ha ha! All kidding aside, I'm not going to say I'm the easiest person in the world to deal with. So what is this Detroit thing I speak of? Well, it's amongst a number of things - pride, frankness, and grit. It's all about fighting for what you want in life and standing up for yourself and being fearless with the power of your own voice. I know where I come from and I know who I am, and once people do get to know me, I'd like to think they don't see me as half-bad. What gets me into trouble though is my curiosity and the disappointments people bring because I'm so hard on everyone, including myself. During the dinner I mentioned, in the beginning of this post, I had brought up the question to several bloggers/influences (whatever the heck we're labeled these days LOL) on why they had begun their Instagram in the first place since this is where most of us began as we fine-tuned our blogs simultaneously. The answers were shocking. One stressed validation, another money, and the typical answer - to connect with others. Okay, two of the three I can slightly understand. I too, use Instagram as a platform to connect and make a living, but my sole reason is to attempt to make an impact on other's lives with my creativity and words.  I want nothing more than to get you to think and feel; to be inspired. To let you know you're not alone, that others are fighting just as hard as you are and that we're in this together. We will carry on because there is no other way. Because we have to.

Perhaps I don't relate to those who come from money and never had to work a day in their whole life, even though they sleazily act as if they do (eyes rolling, you ain't fooling anyone sweetheart!) don't tell me you earned everything on your own when we both know mommy and daddy still take care of you and your bills. I've been working since I was 12 years old and everything I have achieved so far in my life was honest hard-work. I give my blood, sweat, and tears when it comes to my creative outlets. I also do it for no one but myself. Seeking validation on a social media platform is NOT work, I REPEAT, NOT WORK! And stop complaining about your engagement rate not being high enough when you're not willing to put in the time and effort of displaying high-quality content, remaining consistent while maintaining some sort of discipline in this cut-throat, competitive industry. Sure an iPhone shot suffices from time to time, but if you're really trying to grow and aspire to be more than just basic #sorrynotsorry then I strongly suggest thinking outside the box, but especially reconsidering your strategy when it comes to quality over quantity. People will get sick and tired of just seeing you and your 'outfits'. Give me something MORE, dammit! Mic drop, I'm out.

LOVE & XX'S, 

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To All the Ladies with Style and Grace

WEARING: CADIEUX SS 17 JACKET | UNIQLO HEAT TECH TURTLENECK |
SHOE DAZZLE FAUX LEATHER LEGGINGS | ANGELINA SHOETIQUE OTK BOOTS | 
BOOHOO MOCK CROC CLUTCH BAG | SHOPTIQUES ROSE EARRINGS

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY CADIEUX.

Happy International Women's Day! I could say the usual, such as how all women are beautiful, special and worthy of everything, etc.; but I'm not the usual kind. *WARNING* This post is not anger filled but brutally honest. Don't like what you read or see? Get outta my way. BYE.

There's a ferocious new trend-demic where women, but more so cliché-like cliques, that are parading around their 'love & support' for ALL women. Now, don't get me wrong. There are a ton of bad-ass ladies that are really about community and the idea of everyone getting their fair share of the pie with unity and togetherness, but then there are always the typical two-faced bitches (particularly in the blogger world) that are not only complete hypocrites, but also liars and manipulators and have no other motive than to cause drama because of their unhappiness and insecurities. Maybe they're not as terrible as it sounds because hey, I get it. We're all human. I'm flawed and complicated, and not in a light-hearted funny kind of way. But I'm in no way intentionally mean-spirited. 

My closest girlfriends, which have been in my life for decades, can be counted on one hand. Why? LOYALTY. TIL THE END DAWG. We have been through so much shit in life I don't even know where to begin. I'm not talking about childish high-school breakups or fights with the folks, I'm talking about life & death situations. Loss, heartache, violence – our trials & tribulations were sometimes extreme and I really wouldn't have made it out alive if it weren't for my babes. And we didn't become friends because of race, social class, and other ridiculously atrocious reasons why some girls 'clique-ify' their way through life. It's the same type of girl who can't STAND being alone and always has to have a guy around. Seriously?

I don't need a pile of so-called friends to waste time shooting the shit with over coffee anymore. It's so mundane and it makes me nauseous just thinking about it. On the same note, it is crucial to network and to connect in New York City and also the world. It's not just about how hard you work to get towards that 'pie' but rather, who you know and what you can do for each other. Now is having coffee with any kind of friend, close/non-close a crime? Of course the fuck not. Yes, I continue to make new friends and they're all truly AMAZING but again life is so short and there will be very few people in the world that will deeply matter to you. And you to them. I'm not here today to engage in any kind of battle but I see what I see and I have the right to express what I want to freely. Dammit, I hate being a writer sometimes...

It's unnerving to continuously meet other bloggers who are not in this game for the right reasons. Sure, everyone has the right to go after whatever they want. I remember having a conversation with a 'part-time' blogger, and even though she wasn't doing it full-time, she thought anyone can become a blogger. That's like saying anyone can become a writer, a photographer and so on and so forth. BULLSHIT. It takes so much hard work, PASSION, dedication and discipline. It is by far the most challenging work I've ever had and I wouldn' have it any other way. And yes we 'all have to start somewhere'. You pay your dues, you learn & grow (I PRAY), and you work hard and be kind to people. BUUUUUUUTTTTT, that doesn't give anyone the right to make you feel uncomfortable about yourself. PERIOD. The second anyone, not just a woman, wants to treat you this way: DISENGAGE. Don't even give them the reaction that they're just dying to wait on. Pathetic. Let them get even more pissed because of your lack of care or effort on the situation.

To all my bad bitches, I LOVE YOU. I cherish our friendships and you all mean to me more than you'll ever know. Thank you for continuously inspiring me, supporting me, laughing with me and enjoying the good times with before they all fade away. To my loving followers, I may not have time to reply back to every single comment on social media every day, but I SEE you and I can never thank you enough for your encouragement and love to continue what I'm doing. Today is for you, ladies. Keep it real. Always. NOW, to all y'all weak-ass wannabes, I don't have the time playing checkers when I'm mastering my strategies at chess. Boom. Signing off. One Love.

LOVE & XX'S, 

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When Bloggers Do Dumbo

WEARING: MOTO RIPPED MOM SHORTS | BASIC MEDALLION BANDANA | 
ARTIFACT NECKLACE | EXPRESS DENIM VEST | ALDO BUGIANO STUDDED ANKLE BOOTIES | 
RAY-BAN CLUBMASTERS | SEPCOEUR PARIS SUEDE DRAWSTRING BAG

Photo by:  Style Tomes

Photo by: Style Tomes

Photo by:  Style Tomes

Photo by: Style Tomes

Photo by:  Suzanne Spiegoski
Photo by:  Style Tomes

Photo by: Style Tomes

Photo by:  Style Tomes

Photo by: Style Tomes

Happy Friday! Last weekend, I met up with two other New York bloggers, Nataliya from Style Tomes & Andrea from Pretty Proper Quaint, to venture a day in Brooklyn. I love to meet like-minded bloggers from the city and do photo shoots. It's a great way to interact and engage with fellow bloggers. And, I'm all about learning and growing, which nevertheless will take place when getting to know others in your field and spending the day with them. Can you believe that I've never visited the Brooklyn Bridge Park since living here for over a decade?! It just goes to show that New York City is filled with endless amounts of adventure and fun.

We stopped at Jane's Carousel for a youthful outing. For $2, you can feel l like a kid again. Besides, you're never too old to go for a spin! And it's a great location for a photo shoot. Whether it's for your kids or a casual photo-op, I find this place to be whimsical and full of laughter and smiles. My kind of energy! We also visited Brooklyn-based artist Deborah Kass's Yo/Oy sculpture, which is a wonderful addition to New York's public art. I love to see anything that has to do with art, especially street art and graffiti. On the way back to the city, I suggest we take the East River Ferry, as this is also something I've never done! What's great about this form of transportation is you hop from Brooklyn, to Queens, to Manhattan, and even Governor's Island when in season. And bonus... you can take your dog with you! Can't wait to do it again with MaQ next time!

Coming up on the blog this week, a fusion recipe of a popular summer cocktail from the tropics (getting excited for me and my hubby's 10-yr dating anniversary trip!!!), a newfound love for a skincare product (with a giveaway so keep an eye out!), and a favorite quiche recipe, perfect for the weekend brunch! Stay tuned! :)

 

LOVE & XX'S

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