Bluesy Metallic Friday

WEARING: s a k u NEW YORK METALLIC KNIT TOP | AMERICAN EAGLE WHITE JEANS | 
EGO TEGAN POINTED TOE | FOREVER 21 CREAM PATENT CLUTCH BAG | GALTISCOPIO JOLI CRYSTAL
 RING | H&M BLACK FEATHER POLKA DOT FEATHERED HOOP EARRING

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THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY s a k u New York.

Lately, I've been feeling like I am failing in so many 'sections' of my life, I can't keep track. It leads to discouragement and therefore I'm harder on myself than I usually am. But it's also the fuel to the fire to not give up and to keep working toward what I want. What makes these cross paths in life easier to navigate? And how do you know when something is right? And even more so, how do you know when it's wrong? Regarding work and personal relationships, I am currently having major conflicts with time and effort. Trying to find the balance is quite difficult, even straight down to missing my best friend's wedding. And to make days of feeling pretty lousy worse, it just seems like so many people I know are getting those promotions, getting married, having babies, etc; and as much as I am happy for them - it's sometimes hard not to reflect on my own self. Am I doing the right thing? Am I making good decisions? Are they worth it? Are you worth it?  Maybe I should focus more on settling down and starting a family. But life takes you in so many directions and as my father always used to say, "If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans."

You know, I've changed careers three times before really figuring myself out. From the criminal justice world to the figure skating world, to now the fashion blogging world, each transition scared the bejesus out of me. I've always firmly believed you should do one thing that scares you each and every day. And this can mean completely different things for everybody but challenge yourself. Not happy with something? Make that change. Get it done. Stop dreaming and start doing. Take a leap of faith. And even though each time I took a different route on that crazy path to self-discovery, as much as every time I would, of course, think over my choices, there was still something deep down in my gut that knew I was reaching closer to something. Like the truth.

Now, how do you know when something isn't right? If it's broke and unfixable, and/or you are asking yourself if you've reached the end of whatever it may be, maybe a career choice/job or any kind of relationship, those are pretty obvious signs to me. Though, I think that if you've applied a lot of diligent effort to something or someone and the results are still same and you're still unhappy, that's the bottom line for me. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results, as Einstein used to say. But the bottom line is far away from where you draw the middle line. Because not everything is in black and white, right? The most complicated areas are always foggy and grey. 

My instincts do say I'm on the right track. But I sometimes forget that it's not the destination that really matters, but the journey. Maybe that's why I feel like a failure lately. My impatience has a tendency to get the best of me. *Flaw alert* Whatever path you take in life will deeply be affected by your experiences and more especially, the choices you make from them. Because when it comes down to it, we ALL have a choice. In everything we do. So, I think that if you choose to stay in a certain mindset, either negative or positive, it really makes a difference in everyday living. Sure, I have those days too where the bully voice defeats me, I don't feel good enough for anyone or anybody, and I just want to be left alone. But I try very hard every day to wake up with a positive attitude, and I feel when I do, the rest of my day is rather positive too. How do you guys differentiate between what feels right and what feels wrong? Do you think that some people tend to gravitate towards one or the other for certain reasons? And how do you deal with those bluesy days like I've mentioned? Retail therapy? Writing? Gabbing on the phone with your girlfriend? Bad emotional eating habits? What helps you get you through it? 

LOVE & XX'S,

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Houndstooth & Charles Bukowski

WEARING: VINTAGE MACKINTOSH OVERSIZED HOUNDSTOOTH JACKET |
FOREVER 21 OVERSIZED CUTOUT SHIRT | LEVI'S 711 ALTERED SKINNY JEANS |
EGO NASH BACKLESS ANKLE BOOTS | CHARLES BUKOWSKI WOMEN 

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I WAS SENTIMENTAL ABOUT MANY THINGS: A WOMAN'S SHOES UNDER THE BED; ONE HAIRPIN LEFT BEHIND ON THE DRESSER; THE WAY THEY SAID, "I'M GOING TO PEE. . ."; HAIR RIBBONS, WALKING DOWN THE BOULEVARD WITH THEM AT 1:30 IN THE AFTERNOON, JUST TWO PEOPLE WALKING TOGETHER; THE LONG NIGHTS OF DRINKING AND SMOKING, TALKING; THE ARGUMENTS; THINKING OF SUICIDE; EATING TOGETHER AND FEELING GOOD; THE JOKES; THE LAUGHTER OUT OF NOWHERE; FEELING MIRACLES IN THE AIR; BEING IN A PARKED CAR TOGETHER; COMPARING PAST LOVERS AT 3AM; BEING TOLD YOU SNORE, HEARING HER SNORE; MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS, SONS, CATS, DOGS; SOMETIMES DEATH AND SOMETIMES DIVORCE, BUT ALWAYS CARRYING ON, ALWAYS SEEING IT THROUGH; READING A NEWSPAPER ALONE IN A SANDWICH JOINT AND FEELING NAUSEA BECAUSE SHE'S NOW MARRIED TO A DENTIST WITH AN I.Q. OF 95; RACETRACKS, PARKS, PARK PICNICS; EVEN JAILS; HER DULL FRIENDS, YOUR DULL FRIENDS; YOUR DRINKING, HER DANCING; YOUR FLIRTING, HER FLIRTING; HER PILLS, YOUR FUCKING ON THE SIDE, AND HER DOING THE SAME; SLEEPING TOGETHER. . . . 

One of the many passages from writer Charles Bukowski's novel, Women, I always found comfort in his writing. His style flairs in the rawest form of honesty, something that most writers today do not have. The older I become the more I realize how important it is to pull away from the idea of what perfection is supposed to be - straight to its core in every aspect. Bukowski wasn't exactly the nicest of people; a total misogynist, narcissist and straight up alcoholic. Many disliked him, but many like myself saw him as an influence not just in the realm of writing. So in today's post I'm sharing with you five things I've learned from one of my favorite American writers.

HONESTY 

Writers have so many things they can’t write about: family, spouses, exes, children, jobs, bosses, colleagues, friends. That’s why they make stuff up. Fiction is their best friend. But Bukowski didn’t let himself get hampered by that so we see real brutal honesty, a real anthropological survey of being down and out for 60+ years without anything being held back. No other writer before or since has done that. For a particular example, see his novel, Women which detailed every sexual nuance of every woman who dared to sleep with him after he achieved some success. Most of these women were horrified after the book came out. It's actually one of my favorite books written by Bukowski and the beginning excerpt of this post is from Women. Sure he talks badly about most of the experiences he has had with women, but what I really love about it is the cold hard dose of reality that comes with any relationship: disappointment, pain, heartache... love... and the way he is so candor about some of the more intimate parts of life. Think about it, would you find it easy or rather difficult talking about your personal relationships through the written word? 

DISCIPLINE

Imagine coming home from an awful day at work and arguing with a woman/man that was living with you, finishing off a six-pack of beer and then... writing. He did it every day. Most people want to write that novel, or finish that painting, or start that business, but have zero discipline to actually sit down and do it. I'm actually amazed he had any sort of discipline at all. With that kind of work ethic, it just goes to show that if you truly love what you're doing, it will supersede the rest. (Even through the potent powers of alcohol!) In order to be a writer, you must really love to write and you must write every single day. Easy to say, but so tough to do. I, myself, also write every day, but I'm not going to lie, there are some pretty bad days where I just want to throw my typewriter out the window. But you keep at it, because it's all you know, it's all you have and without the written word, you feel like you could die. That's how Bukowski felt too.

SHAMELESSNESS

Bukowski didn't give a rat's ass what people thought about him. And I praise him for that. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder and am always second-guessing myself. I sometimes wish I could throw caution to the wind and really have that mentality of 'no f*cks given' at all times. But when feeling extra down, my insecurities tend to get the best of me. Learning the art of not caring what people think takes time and experience, I think. But I've always admired those who really didn't worry about the opinions of others - because it's not as easy as it looks. It can be cleverly hidden in so many different ways.

POETRY

Bukowski was quite the poet. And it's all non-fiction, which to me, is the best part. It's not the puzzle-kind of poetry where you have to intellectually decode it to understand it. His work was straight to the point. Poetry was something that let writers to master making each word in a sentence effective and powerful. It was this training that allowed them to destroy the competition when they sat down to write their longer pieces. That's how I also got started in writing. In fact, the first two pieces I ever had published were actually poems I wrote as a young teenager. It was only after these publications that I really started to consider becoming a writer. 

PERSISTENCE

The man wrote his first novel at age 49. And it took him over 25 years to become a successful writer. Everyone (mostly everyone) nowadays wants instant gratification. Less and less are understanding what it takes to become one of the greats. I find that when most figure out how long or how much dedication/work will be required to reach whatever goal you may have, most tend to give up before even reaching that halfway mark. And Bukowski was far from perfect and yet still managed to become what he wanted to become. So if he could stay persistent despite all the misfortunes and misgivings life can bring, he still kept plugging away and never gave up. And to me, that's what makes the heart of any champion... 

LOVE & XX'S,

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To Market to Market

WEARING: ROSEGAL MESH PANEL HIGH WAIST BLUE JUMPSUIT | GUESS SATIN PUMPS | 
ZAFUL TASSEL LAYERED DROP EARRINGS | THE LUXELLE SILVER PLATED CLUTCH

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THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY ROSEGAL & ZAFUL.

When one runs to the grocery store, I think the last thing we're thinking about is the way we are dressed. Now who's to say what can one wear to and from the market? It should be fair game, no? But in reality, most of us are running in and out in our everyday getups - maybe even slipping in with our pjs every now and then, especially on a late night run. This is why I love fashion styling. You don't have to work with the rules of only reality. You can set greater expectations and create stories you wouldn't be able to otherwise without the garments, accessories and everything else in between when gathering a look into a concept. And with my new passion in video (as much as I piss and moan about the process of editing - because yes, it really is a pain) lately, I'm really into creating these teeny tidbits of short film all wrapped up within a minute and incorporating the video with photographs. Come check out this decadent late night run to the market, something I'd totally be doing after show at the Met Opera + dinner... I like having dessert at home. 

How crazy luxurious-looking is this blue jumpsuit?! And the more insane part is that it's from Rosegal and it's less than $23! Sadly it's currently sold out! I just checked this morning as I was getting ready for publish this post. But there's other colors like black and red which are also perfect for the fall season! I love a good jumpsuit for date night - like I mentioned earlier this is something I'd wear to the opera or ballet, maybe even a special event of some kind, but it's definitely more on the dressy side for me and I love how confident I feel in it! My silver plated clutch is from The Luxelle, and I love how the bag fancies up the look. 

I wore my favorite black pumps. They are from Guess and made of satin with a real sense of comfort. I've had them for years and I still wear them to this day. They can be worn with a pair of jeans or on the dressier side, like in this outfit. To keep the look playful and fun, I chose these multi-colored, layered tassel drop earrings from Zaful. The blues work well with the jumpsuit I feel. Lastly, I also wanted to show some of my favorite upcoming trends in hair & makeup that I saw during Fashion Month and two trends I've really loved are bright, colorful makeup and sleek hair. I did these looks myself - what's funny is these two things are quite familiar to me from back to my skating days. We did big, in your face, makeup, and perfect hair buns without a strand of hair out of place. I'm all for blue eyeshadow and light pink lips lately, it just gives your face that extra pop. What do you guys think of this whole look?

I'm always trying to elevate my creative work - it's not about competing with others. I never have and never will. I'm only in competition with myself and if I don't feel like I'm learning something everyday and getting better with my work, I feel really lost and frustrated. So creating these 'short films' as I call them at the moment, do mean a lot to me and I wouldn't do them if they didn't because a lot of time and energy goes into them. That's how I am with people too, but that's for another time over coffee. Ha ha! Anyhow, would you like to see more conceptualized stories such as this on the blog? I'd love to hear your thoughts so don't forget to drop a comment before you go! Thanks for stopping - follow me on Instagram and YouTube for the latest! See you guys soon. :) 

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To market to market, it's never about competing with others but only with yourself. So I'm trying to bring you guys a new editorial every week, with a different concept in tune with fashion, style, and short film. And all in less than a minute.

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Faux Leather Biker Chic

WEARING: ZAFUL ZIPPERED FAUX LEATHER BELTED MINI DRESS | 
FOREVER 21 OVERSIZED CUTOUT SHIRT | ANGELINA SHOETIQUE OTK BOOTS | 
LEVI'S WINTER WOOL BERET | FOREVER 21 OVERSIZED ROUND GLASSES | 
ROSEGAL SILVER BEAD HOOPS | ALLES FRINGE BUCKET BAG 

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THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY ZAFUL.

A gloomy, rainy day doesn't exactly set the perfect tone to start any week, does it? But whenever I'm feeling a bit down and out, I just continue on and keep doing me. It doesn't matter the amount of pressure I receive on a daily basis, either work-related, personally and/or more, I'm not a quitter and I refuse to let anyone that I know or do not know, to make me feel anything less than worthy. I have come a long fucking way and to those who think they know anything about me, YOU DON'T. You don't know the half of it, and to the ones who do and have never left my side, with full support and no judgment, I thank you and I love you. I have endured and survived through so much shit in my life. I should have died at least three times already, but by the stroke of luck (or hopefully) for some greater purpose, I'm still here standing. And I'm here for a reason, goddamnit. Excuse the language today, but I never said I was all ladylike and ish. 

So in today's outfit post, I'm presenting my bad-ass self in a biker-chic inspired look completely made out of faux leather. I was really inspired by Moschino's SS18 collection and all of the 'butch' ballerina vibes straight off the runway and wanted to create a similar style pertaining to my own from this inspiration. The zippered, belted mini dress can be worn in all sorts of ways: unzipped/zipped with or without a shirt, layered with one, or without the suspenders, and more. But for this look, I went with a black and white color scheme to keep it fresh and clean. I think other colored shirts would appear just fine as well when it comes to the layering game but I don't always feel vibrant or colorful. I love that about fashion. You can look the way you feel in colors, textures, shapes and more. And whenever I feel more of my weaknesses rather than my strengths, I also will dress more like a baddie to feel more confident and secure. Trust me, an outfit like this can go a long way, even when you're feeling like crap. (Physically, emotionally... perhaps both.) 

To accessorize the look, I wore my favorite hat at the moment. I'm indecisive as to grow out my bangs or not, so for days where I'm not feeling them as much, I just put on a hat and keep moving forward. I wanted to give it a little European edge and a hat can help do just that! My bag is from Alles Bags, and this fringe bucket bag is definitely a staple in my closet. I've had this baby for a little over a year and I still can't get enough of it, it's such a wonderful bag! To keep with the faux leather from the dress, I wore a pair of faux leather over the knee boots from Angelina Shoetique. I actually wore these bad boys during last February's NYFW on the first day when there was a blizzard outside. I trekked in these throughout the day and THANK GOD for them. They're super comfortable, giving me a tiny extra height from the platform sole, and are just so bad ass! I secretly feel like a superhero when I wear them, and how can that ever be a bad thing?

What do you like to wear when feeling extra insecure or down in the dumps? Are you more of a sweatpants kind of gal that would rather stay in or do you like to dress up a little more into something extravagant or in character and go out? I'm in between. Sometimes I really enjoy being alone when feeling this way, but I also believe that sometimes, no matter how shitty your circumstance might be, you just gotta dress up and show up. As my father always used to say, keep on keeping on. And to anyone that wants to directly or indirectly (you might as well say it straight to my face because I'm fucking fearless, so watch out) try and bring me down, here's the bird for you. Have a nice day and don't forget, I'm not doing any of this for anyone but me. Don't seek validation from others, seek it within yourself. Having a rough day like myself? Leave your comments down below and let's hear how your day/week/month has been.  

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New Level

WEARING: NATIVE YOUTH GRAY LONGLINE COAT | DETROIT TIGERS BASEBALL CAP | 
LEVI'S INDIGO PERFECT POCKET TEE | ZAFUL SIDE STRIPED VELVET PANTS | 
PUMA CLYDE SNEAKERS | KYBOE! WATCH | FOREVER 21 OVERSIZED ROUND GLASSES

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THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY ZAFUL. 

This week has been just been crazy with a lot of ups and downs so in return, I'm sharing a new editorial street style post... video included, definitely with no f*cks given. Most fashion content I create is polished, intended styled looks but what I realized is I've never really shown you what I wear when I'm just bummin' around the hood, runnin' errands, shootin' photos or kickin' it on my rooftop. I thought I'd show you a side of me most don't get a chance to see! There's definitely a 'hardness' to my style at times, especially when my mood has been the way it has been this week: Fed up AF but still taking it like a champ and putting in that work. Come take a look for yourself and continue reading more about that Detroit style that'll never cease to fade away in me... it runs through like blood.

When I think of Detroit style it's definitely not feminine, soft or uber chic. It's got grunge, soul, punk, rock n roll and a whole lot of street. The first time I picked up an issue of Vogue (US) I was in my teens and couldn't pronounce half of the designers featured in the magazine, and there was something even back then that made me fascinated about the fashion world but because of where I came from and who I was, I never really embraced the industry until recent years. Everyone has their own journey when it comes to personal style, but I believe what sets the foundation of what your style really is where you've originated; your own backstory will help mold you and constantly interchange you and your style.

So I really enjoy mixing the better of both worlds I've been involved in and continue to be in. I think staying in one box, one style is playing it safe and gets boring after a while. Let your style have its own voice and let it run its mouth! Inspire others to express how they're vibing through their style. In today's post, I've created two different looks with just one change from each outfit and that's outerwear. Outerwear can really set the tone of a look. For example, this Native Youth longline coat gives me a bigger and bolder statement, looking a tad more luxurious than in the second look. The second look is with a more preppy but ghetto vibe. One can be both, trust me! I took one of the oldest Nike sweatshirts I own and cut the sleeves to give it fringe and added toughness to it. I styled it over my shoulders as well as around my waist.

Check out my YouTube video down below or HERE to watch all the different looks going on while still maintaining the same overall vibe. I've also revamped my YouTube Channel and gave it a more polished look, so let me know what you guys think. And don't forget to subscribe while you visit my channel! Shop directly down below and feel free to leave me a comment on what you thought of today's post and how you like to express yourself through style! Have a great weekend, everyone. Take care of each other and yourselves and don't ever stop believing in the good in people, hope and most importantly, LOVE. :)

LOVE & XX'S, 

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