Ice Cold Turquoise

January 6, 2020

THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY J.ING AND H&M BUT ALL OPINIONS ARE MY OWN.

New Year, New Me! (?) The last couple of months in 2019 have been very difficult. I’ve never felt more lost in my career, had major family problems that will remain undisclosed because I still think some things are meant to be kept private and respected, but I will say have been quite emotionally draining, and then I guess what felt like the last nail to the coffin: my beloved, MaQ, had suddenly died. Those that know me knew how much my German Shepherd meant to me. The loss has forever impacted my life. I am no longer the same person I once was.

So in today’s posts, I’m sharing my intentions for the future while also remembering the past. Now that my co-star is gone, the blog doesn’t feel the same without him. He was part of the reason why I had started this blog in the first place. And now I’m lost without him. I took the month of December off to mourn, reflect and sort out many unexpected circumstances resulting from what had occurred. Doing anything creative-wise was a no-go for me, as most holiday campaigns we’ve done in the past were with my boy. I still find it hard for me to be motivated or inspired right now. I’m deeply hurting but I know I’m not defeated. Time does heal wounds, and I know I will be needing it.

This month has brought so much insight for me. I’ve realized where I was heading into my career, unintentionally becoming an ‘influencer’, and all the while being relatively happy with collaborations/projects, what I became aware of was my dissatisfaction as well. I started to become more and more anxious as my following grew and I was more and more in the public eye. All I have ever wanted to do was create and in return, give people something to feel and think about. Even for only a fleeting second. My passions run deeper than just stylish outfits. However, I love expressing myself through fashion and beauty. But I’m first and foremost a writer and a photographer. And now that it really feels like an end to an era now that MaQ is gone, I cannot carry on as if nothing has happened. A part of my brand died too right along with him.

The legacy of MaQ will live on through my work. And in honor of my beautiful boy, MaQ + Suz will be transitioning from a blogging platform to a creative agency! It has been a big dream of mine for so long, and now the timing finally feels right. I am ready to embark on my new journey as a creative director. I will still share similar content as I have in the past, but going into 2020, the new goal is to create with brands but rather than having me be in front of the camera, I now will be more behind it! I also have a couple of very personal projects I’m working on and will not say much (would rather show you when it is ready) that will definitely be taking up a lot of my time. But a lot of my focus this year will be writing and photography. Now that the word is out, I’m excited for the next chapter in our story.

Last but not least, I incorporated this photoshoot for today’s post specifically because of the monochrome color. I’m feeling quite blue, as you can imagine, but also feel hopeful and at peace. The language of color is powerful and even though this outfit was photographed before MaQ’s passing, it’s ironically fitting for today’s message on the blog. Turquoise is a warmer hue of blue to me, and I found this color to be the best of both worlds when it comes to blue. Exactly like how I’m feeling: conflicted with mixed emotions, both good and bad. As always, you can shop the look down below or towards the end of this post. I want to thank everyone who has reached out the past month. This has been one of the hardest moments of my life and the friends who always have my back, your love, and support… there are no words. I’m just forever grateful.

LOVE & XX’S,

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An Alexander in London

February 27, 2018

WEARING: SAKU NEW YORK BLUE BOMBER JACKET |  ODETTE &ODILE TWIGGY WHITE 
SUN SHADES | FOREVER 21 HOT PINK RIBBED SWEATER-KNIT CROP TOP |
EGO SKYE KITTEN HEEL SOCK BOOT | GENUINE PEOPLE BELL BOTTOM CROP JEANS | GUCCI BELT | 
MEDUSA MINI BLUE CLUTCH/CROSSBODY

THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY SAKU NEW YORK.

When it comes to working with photographers, I'm quite selective. There's really only been one person aside from myself that photographs street style for me, and that is my husband, but when I had to travel to London and he had to stay behind, I needed to find someone reliable and with quality (which my standards can be very high... eek!) but when a new friend of mine from this year recommended someone she had worked with, I took a look at her Instagram and was immediately open to her style and vibe. But like any first encounters, they can be a bit awkward, even nerve-wracking to some, but Elena and I had commonalities such as a passion for photography, both Eastern European, and same headstrong go-getting kind of attitude. We broke the ice quickly.

But when the time came to shoot, her camera suddenly was not turning on. At first, we (I know a thing or two about cameras) both thought it was just the battery/sensor that had a small dust or something on it and we tried to clean it. Nothing. We took out the memory card and restarted the camera again, and tried many other crazy things one photographer will try to get the camera to work (this is definitely part of the problem in the digital world, yeah?) again, but to our dismay, nothing was happening. We finally ended up at a camera repair shop about a five-minute walk in central London.

When we arrived, Elena saw a man with a Canon body similar to hers, and immediately wanted to test his battery on her body. He was happy to do so, but it still didn't solve the problem. Her camera was still not turning on. A technician in the shop finally assesses her body and battery and can confirm that there is something wrong with the body. She was disappointed as everything was fine that morning (as I know me, myself, a photographer will check to make sure everything is working before even leaving the house!) and on top of working with me, she had 3 more clients that day. She tapped away into her phone before the man with the Canon, named Alexander, popped in once more.

Overhearing she had to work for fashion week that day, Alexander, 'Alex', straight up offers his camera to her, with no expectations. At first, Elena refuses, even at some point offering money herself to borrow his camera. He says no and then asks for one thing in return. If she ever needed an assistant and just had the time to give him a few tips, and he was not a professional photographer, that would be the next best thing. I honestly have to say that meeting Alex and his friend Amelia the way that I did was something you don't have happen to you every day. What are the odds we'd all be in the same camera repair store in the heart of London on some random weekday in the middle of the afternoon and for this to occur? It's as if as just when I start to think that the world is just crazy and that's that, an angel descends down to earth and I mean... wow. I am still so touched by one person's kindness. All thanks to an Alexander in London, my first shoot was a success!

Photos by: Elena Gola

LOVE & XX'S,

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Neutrals with Black Satin, Velvet and Blues

November 3, 2016

WEARING: H&M TURTLENECK SWEATER | THEORY SATIN DRESS | 
OLIVER BILOU AMY BAG | EGO OFFICIAL VELVET BOOTS | 
ARGENTO VIVO GOLD HOOP EARRINGS | H&M WOODEN BANGLES

This post is sponsored by Oliver Bilou & Ego Official. All opinions are my own.

Fall staples this season in my wardrobe are definitely neutrals, black satin, velvet and blue tones! I'm not one of those girls that wears one piece once and that's the end of it. I like to economize. I like to get creative. AND I love to take risks and give fashion a play on its seriousness. Such as the ultra-trending 90s comeback. I even went to an pop-up event last night in the city that solely had collector items from this time period! The 90s Forever store was filled with vintage items from the 1990s bringing a nostalgic set of rare goodies ranging from all sorts of clothes to toys. I found a dope-ass burgundy velvet slip dress (you can get a sneak peek of it on my Snapchat/InstaStories) that I can't wait to style!

Velvet is really in right now and for all the right reasons. It's plush, fun and versatile. My newfound obsession is these rich purple velvet ankle boots from Ego Official. Aren't they bomb?! I love the luxurious feel without them being too over the top or gimmicky. It can elevate any simple outfit with its pop of color and chic look. I literally can't stop wearing them, on top of how great they look the ankle boots are extremely comfortable to wear while running around town all day. On average, I walk about 4-5 miles everyday so I'm not a frequent 5+ inch high-heel wearer. I gotta get that cardio in somehow... thanks MaQ! ;)

Blue complements with purple well. And this Oliver Bilou Amy bag goes perfectly with my purple velvet ankle boots. I love the vibrant royal blue hue as well as the quality of the bag. Only $100 bucks! When I received it in the mail, the packaging was flawless. It even came with a purse dust cover which is always a plus for me. Keeps the bags in top shape. The tassels and zips of the bag bring a playful twist on its classic structure, and I love the side pocket that can easily fit a cell phone or small wallet. Oliver Bilou also has other differently styled handbags such as a hot pink one and a sleek black with rose gold bag. Check out the purses at their site and use my coupon code, 'suzannespiegoski' to get 10% off your purchase.

I styled chunky wooden bangles with a camel turtleneck sweater both from H&M. The drawstring of the black satin dress from Theory is supposed to be tied around the neck as it has short sleeves, but I improvised and wrapped it around to give it a sleeveless look. The result also gave me pockets and the added detail from the drawstring finessed the entire outfit. Lastly, my gold hoop earrings are from Argento Vivo. You can shop similar products down below. What do you guys think? Fashion yay or nay?

LOVE & XX'S,

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Happy Birthday Mom

February 15, 2016

Gone but never forgotten, forever in our hearts.

It's always a bittersweet day for me the day after Valentine's. Today would have been my mother's 60th birthday. Every year I try talking myself into breaking free and 'letting go' of acknowledging or even remembering certain dates and occasions associated with her and the rest of my family, but each time, 365 days later, my feelings are only stronger than ever before in keeping the spirit of her and others loved ones alive. No matter how painful it may be, I cannot help but celebrate and honor them. Who I am is all because of my parents. How could I ever forget about them?

Together at Newport Beach, 1992. I miss you. I love you, Ma.

There was a powerful scene between Enid and Glenn from last night's season premiere of The Walking Dead. [SPOILER ALERT] By the way, IMO, this was probably one of the best episodes in the entire series. If you don't watch the show because it's all about violence and zombies, then you are mistaken. The entire show, really, is a story of how people respond to unimaginable horror. Some simply don’t have the backbone for it, some thrive in it, and others have their fates decided at their own personal snapping point, the point at which they change. While searching for supplies inside a church together, Enid finds a scripture written on the wall from James 2:26, "Faith without works is dead." Enid tells Glenn that, in terms of fleeing or fighting, she wanted to run before they had reached the church. Glenn immediately explains that's how you lose people. Even after they're gone. Confused, Enid asks what he means by that and he replies with, "The people you love made you who you are. If you stop being you, that last bit of them that's inside of you is gone." Faith without works is dead faith because the lack of works reveals an unchanged life or a spiritually dead heart. There are many Scriptures that make it very clear that true saving faith will result in a transformed life, which is demonstrated by the “works” we do. So to me, if you change as a person, even if it's trying to hide the pain deep inside you, you will not grow or strengthen as a person let alone survive. Death is certain, life is not. If I stop remembering who I love and where I came from, I'm not sure who I'd be anymore. For me, it's not even an option.

My mother's Freedom III Minolta Film Camera 📷.

Just two peas in a pod. Mermaid girls. 🌊

In other words, you can't run from the pain. Go towards it. Most people who don't know me on a personal level think I got my passion for photography from my husband. The truth is, he has definitely had an influence on me, but the first person to ever peek my interest in photography was my mother. She was also the first person to get me a camera. And when I sift through the photos she'd taken over the years, one thing is true. She had quite an eye, actually, she was exceptional. Perhaps (or at least I'd like to think) that's where I inherited my 'eye'. My father wasn't half-bad either as you can see from the photos he took of us.

My mother was such a babe! Forever Young, California Dreamin'. 1992.

I still have the camera she used through those years we had together. It's an old point-and-shoot film camera, a Freedom III Minolta, that I still use it from time to time, but only for special occasions. Film is just too darn expensive these days. But you see all these photos of my mother and I on the beach in today's post? They're all from the same camera! How cool is that? Call me a sentimental fool, but these memories are all I have left. And I don't care what anyone says, I will cherish them until the day I die. It's important for me to show these photographs to my own children one day too, as it is just as imperative for them to know where they come from, going back many generations. #KoreanPride 🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷

When I was going through the photos I have of me and my mother today, I wanted to pick a warmer, summer-like theme. It's Monday, I've got the Winter Blues, and I miss my West Coast Cali girl vibes! Even though it always makes me a little sad looking at some of the photos, I couldn't help but smile remembering some good times from this California trip. I was in second grade and it was the very first time I'd gotten on a plane. I remember our layover in Chicago. I remember losing my favorite stuffed animal from this vacation, and was nearly heartbroken from never finding him. I remember it was the first time my mother's parents met my Dad. They didn't speak English so my mother was their personal translator. I remember grandpa catching something while fishing with my dad, and as an elder, he had trouble reeling in what seemed to be Moby Dick! My Dad assisted him with the line and when he pulled it up enough for everyone to finally see what is was, a baby hammerhead shark hung from the hook! Seconds after our discovery, a hungry duck swam by and snatched the shark for lunch! We laughed and laughed and laughed until our bellies hurt. Well... everyone except the boys who lost their 'prize'! Ha! Ha!

My mother's Korean name is Sun-Hui (pronounced Sun-Hee) but when she came to the States everyone had trouble pronouncing it so she just told 'em to call her, 'Sunny'. If you ever had the pleasure of meeting her, you knew why that nickname was perfectly suited for her. I even inherited her Americanized name, being my middle name is 'Sunny'. I miss her dearly but I know that she lives on through me and my brother. I can't wait to see her again, and this I know for sure. My faith can never be broken. Until then, keep shining down with your Light & Love, Ma. Happy Birthday. I miss you. I love you. Always. From your lil' 하마 xoxo.

Love & xx's,

Source: http://www.suzannespiegoski.com/maq-and-su...

Wild Child!

September 9, 2015

I live for words. But sometimes, being a writer, it's hard to find the right ones. In the exact correct place. In a particular moment. Sometimes, it's other mediums, like music, photography, and other art forms that help express those inner primal emotions.

When the words don't come, I go out and live my life. But even then, sometimes life wants to hand you the shittiest of lemons in the shittiest of circumstances, and even though I could produce an interesting concoction of what would maybe qualify as lemonade, I'd rather sing my heart out first. I always feel so much better after a sesh alone, therapeutic even. At least to me it is. I can kick it to any melody, but just like my father, the blues and more especially, rock n roll is in my soul.

I find self-portraiture to be a journey of not only exploring and discovering many different characteristics in a person, but also the best way to get the creative juices flowing and hopefully for someone to get better at their work. Since I've never done a photo shoot such as one which includes my *obvious* talent for singing, I wanted to share with you my many different expressions of moods and emotions. All I can say is it was a blast!

I re-created a playlist I had going on during this self-portrait session. Though it's mostly rock n roll, I've got some alternative, post-punk and blues in there too. Check it out below!