I Am Loved Because...

August 27, 2019

This post is sponsored by Helzberg Diamonds but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.

What does love mean, really? Love is complex and quite hard to put down in words. In partnership with Helzberg Diamonds, I'm thrilled to share what love means to me in my life. I could go on forever when it comes to love, but in today's post, I will try to make it short and sweet. There's also a really fun contest with your chance to win a $250 gift card. So continue reading to hear more about my thoughts on love and how you can enter for your chance to win the prize.

I know I am loved because of our unconditional commitment we have for each other. To be fully seen by somebody, through all our failures, stupidities, ugly points, and even then, to be loved anyhow is a miracle in itself. But when it comes down to it - it really is a decision for me. My husband and I have been together for thirteen years. We have been through it all. People and circumstances have tried to break us apart, and through thick and thin we have always chosen each other. We put each other first in our lives and make our marriage a priority. Even when he asked me to marry him, I knew he was for real when he went out of his way to propose at one of my favorite places in New York City, the Met Opera. My love for the opera is unreal so even when I wanted to stop by and take some photos together, specifically for today's shoot, he was more than happy to do so. It's little things like this that also affirm I'm very much loved.

Love is at the heart of what Helzberg stands for. When Barnett Helzberg Jr. proposed to Shirley Bush in 1967, the love he felt sparked a thought - everyone should feel like this. Everyone should feel loved. This wholly romantic notion famously inspired the "I Am Loved" lapel button. Helzberg Jr.’s would say, “Buy her a diamond or give her a button, but in any case, tell her she's loved. Share a photo with #IAmLovedContest and finish the sentence "I know I am loved because..." for a chance to win a $250 gift card to Helzberg Diamonds. See your submission and the official rules HERE.

LOVE & XX’S,

ENTER THE CONTEST

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Pawther's Day with Michelob ULTRA

June 10, 2018

This post is sponsored by Michelob Ultra but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.

We all know that living a life of balance isn’t easy. Balancing work, staying healthy, and spending quality time with the people we love is a major accomplishment in today’s society. Most of us fall short of achieving this balance, and often the many aspects of our busy lives supersede family time, especially with our dads. But there’s one time of year that we take time to give dads the appreciation they deserve: Father’s Day. Which is why this year I'm giving a major shoutout to my husband; the father to our dog, MaQ, who is just the best pawrent ever! Continue reading to see how we will be celebrating this year.

My father passed away in 2012 and though I have many 'father-figures' in my life that inspire me, no one comes in as the first runner-up other than my husband. He's not just my partner in business but is my best friend. He is the most loving, gentle father to our German shepherd, MaQ and definitely has stepped up with the pawrent duties since the blog has taken off. It's really difficult balancing everything in life, but with him by my side, there's nothing we can't do. I'm truly grateful for his love and support, through it all. And trust me, we've been through A LOT. The end of this month will be 12 years together! Maybe an anniversary post of getting to know us better is in the making? Stay tuned... :)

Whether it’s your brother, friend, co-worker or your own father, let’s toast to the #ULTRADAD who inspire us to live full lives and make better choices. And what better way to celebrate them than on the golf course, grilling in the backyard or just hanging with friends/fam with an ice cold Michelob ULTRA? All of these are simply better together – especially when both are shared with your dad and Michelob ULTRA. What are you doing to celebrate this Father’s Day/Pawther's Day? ✨

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP MICHELOB ULTRA BEER

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Cosmopolitan: Let's Talk About It Event

June 25, 2017

WEARING: NATIVE YOUTH RUST HIGH NECK BLOCK JERSEY SWEATER | 
MARSHALL FIELD'S FAUX CROC SATCHEL BAG | ALDO BUGIANO STUDDED ANKLE BOOTIES | 
STELLA & DOT GOLD AND BLACK FRINGE NECKLACE | AE CHAMBRAY SHIRT

THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY COSMOPOLITAN, NATIVE YOUTH, AND STELLA & DOT.

"KILL THEM WITH COMPETENCE."

Yesterday's 'Let's Talk About It' event with Cosmopolitan helped others find their voice on topics that some (wrong) people consider taboo for women to talk about and more. Busting taboos around money & power, sex & romance, beauty & image, happiness and more, it was an inspiring, and empowering way to spend a Saturday. Kicking off the morning with 'humming in' with sound therapy practitioner, Sara Auster, and CEO of MNDFL, Ellie Burrows, the entire room suddenly felt like I was surrounded by hundreds of bees near its main nest. It was strange yet communal... zen. Practicing meditation helps one focus on themselves and who they really are. It was a unique opener and a wonderful way to bring us together.

The seminar was welcomed by Editor-in-Chief of Cosmopolitan, Michele Promaulayko, and her first panel of boss women, television personality, host, fashion designer, singer, actress and author of There's No F*cking Secret: Letters From a Badass Bitch, Kelly Osbourne, acclaimed TV journalist, woman's empowerment advocate and author of the upcoming book, Be Fierce: Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back, Gretchen Carlson, and CEO of, The Pink Ceiling, and the woman behind the 'female viagra', Addyi, Cindy Whitehead.

Self-acceptance, struggles in the workforce and yes, sex, was among some of the general topics discussed in the opening panel. I think my favorite moment from that panel was Kelly Osbourne's story about being bullied as a kid. At first, she confided in her mother, Sharon, and told her to go back to school the following day and tell the girls that were picking on her that if they didn't stop, she'd have her father bite their heads off. LMAO. But when that didn't work, she then went to her father, Ozzy. And surprisingly enough, his advice was to basically tattletale on them. He told her to tell the girls they had one last chance to do right and if they didn't stop, she would report them. And sending that kind of message to your daughter, that your voice is the most powerful force within you, is such an important lesson to learn, let alone acquire.

The second segment focused on money, power & work. The panel included Director of Editorial and Business Development of Cosmopolitan & Seventeen, Laura Brounstein, journalist & author of, Feminist Fight Club, Jessica Bennett, and women's leadership expert, Chief Leadership Officer for LEVO & author of, Drop the Ball, Tiffany Dufu. Heavy talks of the balance between your work life and personal life were extremely central to everyone, along with great tips for it. For example, Tiffany Dufu, said people respond to authenticity. “Embrace the imperfection,” she said. “Do what you need to do in order to be the kind of leader that people will resonate with." And I think this applies to everywhere in life, not just on Instagram. 9/10 times I want to work with someone because they're real with me, not because they're putting up a front that they're perfect. Because no one is that.

When Jessica Bennett was first starting her career, she felt uneasy about self-promotion. Her male co-workers, however, had no trouble shamelessly doing so — and got all the credit and raises. Then she and her friend came up with a strategy and became each other’s “boast bitches.” “When I did something good, she would send a mass email to all of our editors, being like, ‘Did you see this great thing that Jess did? It was really amazing!’ And I would do the same for her.” No good deed goes unpunished? Not in this case. It's selfless, they're both supporting one another and at the same time feeling good doing it and feeling good about themselves. And they finally got the credit they deserved.

Another favorite segment was the sex talk with Digital Special Projects Director for Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, & Redbook, Elisa Benson, actor & host of his own hit podcast, The Love Bomb, Nico Tortorella, and founder & host of the Sex with Emily podcast, Dr. Emily Morse. Dr. Morse encouraged women to talk about what they need from their partners in the bedroom but to not talk about it in the bedroom. Rather in a more relaxed setting, like at brunch, or over coffee. "Make it more casual," she said. "You just kind of throw it out there, not like a we need to talk." Another tip? Do it in the car or on the subway. It's a place where you can talk about awkward issues without making eye contact. And reinforce, reinforce, reinforce! It goes a long way, especially before giving some feedback that might not exactly be A+.

After lunch, there was a dance-off with the founder & creator of DanceBody, Katia Pryce, where she had the entire room gyrating together in a full circle. It was yet another great way to bring everyone together and to prepare everybody for what's next, which was the part where we all sat around each other in the same circle and went around telling the room what our current ambitions were. Many wanted love, happiness and more. Better jobs, bigger houses, more time with their loved ones... and I have to admit, when it comes down to it, we really all want the same things in life. To love and be loved in return, to find joy in the bittersweetness of life; to belong to something, to be accepted and appreciated. To have much purpose and to fulfill your dreams. To just be at peace.

And the Cosmopolitan conference did just that for me and helped me recognize what really matters and what doesn't. What's your current ambition? To answer mine, I would honestly say that I am striving to be a better wife and mommy to my fur child because, with the crazy amount of work I've been doing in the past year, the amount of time I have with them is really scarce. Sure, I work with my husband constantly, but that doesn't count for quality time. And my pup has been missing me being home and spending time with him. So I'm definitely working on that challenging balance in life as well. This event also reminded me how powerful our voices really can be. I think if we can continue to spread the gift of courage, in that the more we speak up about things we shouldn't necessarily talk about or are subject to taboo, the more we will all see that it can help and inspire others to break free from their silence. Thanks for stopping by and reading about my Cosmopolitan adventures! Don't forget to comment your ambitions down below!

LOVE & XX'S,

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Native Youth Rust High Neck Block Jersey Dress

Marshall Field's Faux Green Croc Satchel Bag

Stella & Dot Gold and Black Fringe Necklace

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Engagement Shoot – Hilja & Tom

January 21, 2017

TOM & HILJA – PORTRAITS BY SUZANNE SPIEGOSKI

I've known Hilja for nearly 25 years. We met as young kids at a track meet both competing in the chin-up/pull-up category. But it wasn't until six months later where we crossed paths once more - this time at a skating rink and became inseparable. Growing up together she has always been like a sister to me and is one of my closest and dearest friends. So, when she told me was coming to New York with her fiancé, Tom, I wanted to do an engagement shoot as their wedding present.

While growing up in Detroit like myself, Hilja met Tom while in grade school. But a romance didn't brew until way later when they reconnected as adults. I'm a firm believer in all the twists & turns that life will lead you to, like moments such as this, where sometimes you don't even know what's been under your nose the entire time. Love ain't easy and I think one has to go through a lot in order to know who and what they want. And with these two, I haven't seen such a happy couple in so many years.

One of the reasons for their visit to New York was for Tom's birthday and part of his gift was a trip to Madison Square Garden to watch his favorite college basketball team, Duke, play. And being that they are both from the Motor City, I wanted to embody their laid-back but gritty attitude. So the first part of the shoot, I took them to Alphabet City and shot in an empty basketball court. This was an easy-breezy moment before the second part of the photo shoot.

I was adamant in shooting part of their engagement series on Top of the Rock during their visit here in New York around the holidays. But on that particular day, there was so much fog there was literally zero visibility. The staff even forewarned us – suggesting we exchange our tickets to another day. My stubborn streak never ceases to shine through and because it was the last day of their visit, I pushed for it anyway.

"Maybe we'll get lucky," I thought.

Going up I had anxiety. You can't control Mother Nature and I was concerned we may be going up but with no NYC skyline. However, when shooting you got to go with the flow. As we started to warm up for our shoot and ease into our environment, the clouds parted and a beautiful incandescent light emerged from above. Much like the weather, you cannot control love and all that comes with it. A definite blessing from the universe. What a day. Are you a believer in spiritual energies as such?

Hilja and Tom will be married In Michigan come this fall. I feel so honored to be a part of her wedding and for our friendship. Life has thrown us many curveballs (even really bad airballs if you will) but we have been there for each other through the thick and thin. Seeing her full of life and joy brings me much happiness. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for all of us! To many more years of love & laughter, adventures and more. I love you guys!

P.S. Want to see more lovey-dovey couple photos? Click here.

LOVE & XX'S,

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Happy Birthday Mom

February 15, 2016

Gone but never forgotten, forever in our hearts.

It's always a bittersweet day for me the day after Valentine's. Today would have been my mother's 60th birthday. Every year I try talking myself into breaking free and 'letting go' of acknowledging or even remembering certain dates and occasions associated with her and the rest of my family, but each time, 365 days later, my feelings are only stronger than ever before in keeping the spirit of her and others loved ones alive. No matter how painful it may be, I cannot help but celebrate and honor them. Who I am is all because of my parents. How could I ever forget about them?

Together at Newport Beach, 1992. I miss you. I love you, Ma.

There was a powerful scene between Enid and Glenn from last night's season premiere of The Walking Dead. [SPOILER ALERT] By the way, IMO, this was probably one of the best episodes in the entire series. If you don't watch the show because it's all about violence and zombies, then you are mistaken. The entire show, really, is a story of how people respond to unimaginable horror. Some simply don’t have the backbone for it, some thrive in it, and others have their fates decided at their own personal snapping point, the point at which they change. While searching for supplies inside a church together, Enid finds a scripture written on the wall from James 2:26, "Faith without works is dead." Enid tells Glenn that, in terms of fleeing or fighting, she wanted to run before they had reached the church. Glenn immediately explains that's how you lose people. Even after they're gone. Confused, Enid asks what he means by that and he replies with, "The people you love made you who you are. If you stop being you, that last bit of them that's inside of you is gone." Faith without works is dead faith because the lack of works reveals an unchanged life or a spiritually dead heart. There are many Scriptures that make it very clear that true saving faith will result in a transformed life, which is demonstrated by the “works” we do. So to me, if you change as a person, even if it's trying to hide the pain deep inside you, you will not grow or strengthen as a person let alone survive. Death is certain, life is not. If I stop remembering who I love and where I came from, I'm not sure who I'd be anymore. For me, it's not even an option.

My mother's Freedom III Minolta Film Camera 📷.

Just two peas in a pod. Mermaid girls. 🌊

In other words, you can't run from the pain. Go towards it. Most people who don't know me on a personal level think I got my passion for photography from my husband. The truth is, he has definitely had an influence on me, but the first person to ever peek my interest in photography was my mother. She was also the first person to get me a camera. And when I sift through the photos she'd taken over the years, one thing is true. She had quite an eye, actually, she was exceptional. Perhaps (or at least I'd like to think) that's where I inherited my 'eye'. My father wasn't half-bad either as you can see from the photos he took of us.

My mother was such a babe! Forever Young, California Dreamin'. 1992.

I still have the camera she used through those years we had together. It's an old point-and-shoot film camera, a Freedom III Minolta, that I still use it from time to time, but only for special occasions. Film is just too darn expensive these days. But you see all these photos of my mother and I on the beach in today's post? They're all from the same camera! How cool is that? Call me a sentimental fool, but these memories are all I have left. And I don't care what anyone says, I will cherish them until the day I die. It's important for me to show these photographs to my own children one day too, as it is just as imperative for them to know where they come from, going back many generations. #KoreanPride 🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷

When I was going through the photos I have of me and my mother today, I wanted to pick a warmer, summer-like theme. It's Monday, I've got the Winter Blues, and I miss my West Coast Cali girl vibes! Even though it always makes me a little sad looking at some of the photos, I couldn't help but smile remembering some good times from this California trip. I was in second grade and it was the very first time I'd gotten on a plane. I remember our layover in Chicago. I remember losing my favorite stuffed animal from this vacation, and was nearly heartbroken from never finding him. I remember it was the first time my mother's parents met my Dad. They didn't speak English so my mother was their personal translator. I remember grandpa catching something while fishing with my dad, and as an elder, he had trouble reeling in what seemed to be Moby Dick! My Dad assisted him with the line and when he pulled it up enough for everyone to finally see what is was, a baby hammerhead shark hung from the hook! Seconds after our discovery, a hungry duck swam by and snatched the shark for lunch! We laughed and laughed and laughed until our bellies hurt. Well... everyone except the boys who lost their 'prize'! Ha! Ha!

My mother's Korean name is Sun-Hui (pronounced Sun-Hee) but when she came to the States everyone had trouble pronouncing it so she just told 'em to call her, 'Sunny'. If you ever had the pleasure of meeting her, you knew why that nickname was perfectly suited for her. I even inherited her Americanized name, being my middle name is 'Sunny'. I miss her dearly but I know that she lives on through me and my brother. I can't wait to see her again, and this I know for sure. My faith can never be broken. Until then, keep shining down with your Light & Love, Ma. Happy Birthday. I miss you. I love you. Always. From your lil' 하마 xoxo.