Cosmopolitan: Let's Talk About It Event

June 25, 2017

WEARING: NATIVE YOUTH RUST HIGH NECK BLOCK JERSEY SWEATER | 
MARSHALL FIELD'S FAUX CROC SATCHEL BAG | ALDO BUGIANO STUDDED ANKLE BOOTIES | 
STELLA & DOT GOLD AND BLACK FRINGE NECKLACE | AE CHAMBRAY SHIRT

THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY COSMOPOLITAN, NATIVE YOUTH, AND STELLA & DOT.

"KILL THEM WITH COMPETENCE."

Yesterday's 'Let's Talk About It' event with Cosmopolitan helped others find their voice on topics that some (wrong) people consider taboo for women to talk about and more. Busting taboos around money & power, sex & romance, beauty & image, happiness and more, it was an inspiring, and empowering way to spend a Saturday. Kicking off the morning with 'humming in' with sound therapy practitioner, Sara Auster, and CEO of MNDFL, Ellie Burrows, the entire room suddenly felt like I was surrounded by hundreds of bees near its main nest. It was strange yet communal... zen. Practicing meditation helps one focus on themselves and who they really are. It was a unique opener and a wonderful way to bring us together.

The seminar was welcomed by Editor-in-Chief of Cosmopolitan, Michele Promaulayko, and her first panel of boss women, television personality, host, fashion designer, singer, actress and author of There's No F*cking Secret: Letters From a Badass Bitch, Kelly Osbourne, acclaimed TV journalist, woman's empowerment advocate and author of the upcoming book, Be Fierce: Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back, Gretchen Carlson, and CEO of, The Pink Ceiling, and the woman behind the 'female viagra', Addyi, Cindy Whitehead.

Self-acceptance, struggles in the workforce and yes, sex, was among some of the general topics discussed in the opening panel. I think my favorite moment from that panel was Kelly Osbourne's story about being bullied as a kid. At first, she confided in her mother, Sharon, and told her to go back to school the following day and tell the girls that were picking on her that if they didn't stop, she'd have her father bite their heads off. LMAO. But when that didn't work, she then went to her father, Ozzy. And surprisingly enough, his advice was to basically tattletale on them. He told her to tell the girls they had one last chance to do right and if they didn't stop, she would report them. And sending that kind of message to your daughter, that your voice is the most powerful force within you, is such an important lesson to learn, let alone acquire.

The second segment focused on money, power & work. The panel included Director of Editorial and Business Development of Cosmopolitan & Seventeen, Laura Brounstein, journalist & author of, Feminist Fight Club, Jessica Bennett, and women's leadership expert, Chief Leadership Officer for LEVO & author of, Drop the Ball, Tiffany Dufu. Heavy talks of the balance between your work life and personal life were extremely central to everyone, along with great tips for it. For example, Tiffany Dufu, said people respond to authenticity. “Embrace the imperfection,” she said. “Do what you need to do in order to be the kind of leader that people will resonate with." And I think this applies to everywhere in life, not just on Instagram. 9/10 times I want to work with someone because they're real with me, not because they're putting up a front that they're perfect. Because no one is that.

When Jessica Bennett was first starting her career, she felt uneasy about self-promotion. Her male co-workers, however, had no trouble shamelessly doing so — and got all the credit and raises. Then she and her friend came up with a strategy and became each other’s “boast bitches.” “When I did something good, she would send a mass email to all of our editors, being like, ‘Did you see this great thing that Jess did? It was really amazing!’ And I would do the same for her.” No good deed goes unpunished? Not in this case. It's selfless, they're both supporting one another and at the same time feeling good doing it and feeling good about themselves. And they finally got the credit they deserved.

Another favorite segment was the sex talk with Digital Special Projects Director for Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, & Redbook, Elisa Benson, actor & host of his own hit podcast, The Love Bomb, Nico Tortorella, and founder & host of the Sex with Emily podcast, Dr. Emily Morse. Dr. Morse encouraged women to talk about what they need from their partners in the bedroom but to not talk about it in the bedroom. Rather in a more relaxed setting, like at brunch, or over coffee. "Make it more casual," she said. "You just kind of throw it out there, not like a we need to talk." Another tip? Do it in the car or on the subway. It's a place where you can talk about awkward issues without making eye contact. And reinforce, reinforce, reinforce! It goes a long way, especially before giving some feedback that might not exactly be A+.

After lunch, there was a dance-off with the founder & creator of DanceBody, Katia Pryce, where she had the entire room gyrating together in a full circle. It was yet another great way to bring everyone together and to prepare everybody for what's next, which was the part where we all sat around each other in the same circle and went around telling the room what our current ambitions were. Many wanted love, happiness and more. Better jobs, bigger houses, more time with their loved ones... and I have to admit, when it comes down to it, we really all want the same things in life. To love and be loved in return, to find joy in the bittersweetness of life; to belong to something, to be accepted and appreciated. To have much purpose and to fulfill your dreams. To just be at peace.

And the Cosmopolitan conference did just that for me and helped me recognize what really matters and what doesn't. What's your current ambition? To answer mine, I would honestly say that I am striving to be a better wife and mommy to my fur child because, with the crazy amount of work I've been doing in the past year, the amount of time I have with them is really scarce. Sure, I work with my husband constantly, but that doesn't count for quality time. And my pup has been missing me being home and spending time with him. So I'm definitely working on that challenging balance in life as well. This event also reminded me how powerful our voices really can be. I think if we can continue to spread the gift of courage, in that the more we speak up about things we shouldn't necessarily talk about or are subject to taboo, the more we will all see that it can help and inspire others to break free from their silence. Thanks for stopping by and reading about my Cosmopolitan adventures! Don't forget to comment your ambitions down below!

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE LOOK

Native Youth Rust High Neck Block Jersey Dress

Marshall Field's Faux Green Croc Satchel Bag

Stella & Dot Gold and Black Fringe Necklace

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Lady in Red

June 20, 2017

WEARING: ZAFUL CROPPED OFF THE SHOULDER TOP AND BELTED SLIT A-LINE SKIRT

THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY ZAFUL BUT ALL OPINIONS ARE MY OWN.

HEY, DON'T STOP YOUR LOVIN', WALK OUT ON ME

DON'T STOP FOR NOTHIN', YOU'RE WHAT I BLEED

I LEARNED TO LOVE YOU, THE WAY YOU NEED

'CAUSE I KNOW WHAT'S PAIN, THIS IS NOT THE SAME...

Hi, everyone! Happy Tuesday! I'm off to a great start this week, just shot my first commercial and had the most wonderful experience! Afterward, I felt like painting the town red! Do you have a color you love to wear that makes you feel empowered, sexy and fun all at the same time? For me, it's definitely the color, red. Be as it may I am a full-blooded Aries, I've always been strongly drawn to this color. Red, the color of blood and fire, is associated with meanings of love, passion, desire, heat, longing, lust, sexuality, sensitivity, romance, joy, strength, leadership, courage, vigor, willpower, rage, anger, danger, malice, wrath, stress, action, vibrancy, radiance, and determination. Red exudes power, energy, and excitement. It makes peoples' hearts beat faster. My mother was the first person to show me how to express myself through fashion & style, and that every color carries symbolisms and how you wear that color really exudes your current thoughts and feelings. Do you guys agree with what the color you're wearing says about you?

Wear red when you want to be assertive, need an energy boost or exude sexuality. Red is effective as an accessory to project energy. Avoid red when you feel nervous and want to elude attention. For example, I wouldn't wear a red dress to a business meeting you're super nervous about. To blend in, neutral palettes are great for something like this (especially during the summer and even winter) or you can be a typical New Yorker like myself, and be decked out in all black attire. Whenever I feel like celebrating a big win or am just feeling really good about myself, my color go-to has always been red! It's just me – what can I say?

I'm just a tad bit obsessed with this two-piece set from Zaful. The cropped off-the-shoulder top and belted slit A-line skirt give me all the Latin feels. I just want to dance when I'm in it, even at home in bed! I would definitely wear this out on the town or at a music festival, especially for Latin night! I actually wanted to do another music video type of number like the last video I created for Father's Day, but with this outfit. Unfortunately, I'm way too busy this week. But don't worry, I will be making more soon!

What other types of content would you like to see me do more of in terms of video? More food & cooking? More pet & lifestyle? Travel? Or a little bit of everything? I always love to hear feedback from the readers who take the time to come onto the site to look and read different posts. Your comments never go unappreciated and I value each and every one of them. Don't forget to leave your favorite color to wear down below! It is also for research on my upcoming giveaway for reaching over 20k on Instagram! Whoa! Seriously, though, guys... thank you for the love and support through the years. I know I have said it over and over again, but I wouldn't be where I am without you. Big hugs & kisses. I'm off to meetings for the rest of the day! Let's make it a great one!

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE LOOK

Zaful Cropped Off The Shoulder Top And Belted Slit A-Line Skirt - Red

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White Summer Shorts Suit

June 10, 2017

WEARING: DEZZAL WORK BLAZER AND MINI SHORTS | NA-KD FASHION DEEP V SINGLET | 
VAGABOND OXFORD SHOES | MAD-STYLE ROCK N ROLL CROSSBODY BAG | MAD-STYLE CALLY EARRINGS

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY DEZZAL & MAD-STYLE.

CHIC FOR MOST OFFICES AND EVERYWHERE ELSE.

Shorts suits' ultimate-feminine take on menswear is one Spring/Summer trend I can jump onboard for. I love mixing soft and hard pieces together, and because I'm also not necessarily either in particular, it's a great way to showcase my style while also having fun doing it. (and perhaps simultaneously taking care of business.) And this kind of trendy suit is more than 'suitable' in warmer temperatures, especially for busy working gals who don't have time to change in between work and evening functions. I adore a day-to-night look because a simple but stylish outfit can be carried throughout the entire day, so long as you carry yourself well too. And what suit doesn't give a woman an added boost of confidence? Let me show you how to style a shorts suit just in time for summer!

Sometimes when petite or shorter girls wear something like a shorts suit, they need additional help in elongating their legs. If you're a little bit disproportionate in terms of measurements, wear a heel of some kind. To give even more length, a strappy sandal would definitely fit the bill. But if you want to go for a more traditional look, I'd go for some oxfords like I styled here. I love the nude/faded-blush tone in these Vagaband oxfords because it helps focus on the main attraction, which is the shorts suit. To balance the color out with the shoes, I chose a lighter pink colored rock -n- roll bag and a carnation pink silk camisole top.

The beautifully cut singlet top is from NA-KD Fashion, featuring thin straps in a racerback design and is light as a feather. I've never been a huge fan of pink, but other shades such as dusty pinks, and other blush tones have been making me grow more fond of the feminine color. Perhaps it never really was a girly color, but more of an empowering one. Now that I think about it since when has pink ever really been a soft or weak color? I must admit when I do wear pink, which is still quite a rarity, I do feel more feminine, but in the best way possible. Use my code Suzanne 20 for 20% off at NA-KD Fashion!

To go with the guitar-strapped rock -n- roll bag, I wore these cute Cally earrings, both by Mad-Style. These stunning earrings are on trend and create an eclectic mix of modern and rustic style. They have some really great accessories at very affordable prices. Check them out at Mad-Style.com, and use my code, 'maqandsuz' to get 20% OFF your purchase. The gorgeous metallic tones of the earrings mix well with natural stone accents, like this white shorts suit from Dezzal.

There are a few reasons why I love this particular shorts suit. One it's fresh and crisp white color is so clean for summer. Two, it's materials, such as the texturized fabric for both the blazer and shorts is pretty fantastic, and three, the pearl details on the pockets of each piece is almost too good, am I right? Just the right amount of chicness, playfulness, and charm in the perfect summer outfit; both for business and for pleasure :) What's your guys' take on the shorts suit trend? I'd love to hear from ya! Don't forget to comment down below and leave some love... have a wonderful rest of your weekend, everyone!

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE LOOK

Dezzal White Work Blazer and Mini Shorts

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Keep on Moving Forward

June 6, 2017

WEARING: TOBI OFF THE SHOULDER BLACK DRESS | ZARA BALLERINAS WITH STRAPS | 
LOUISE & ELEANOR SQUIGGLE BAG | H&M EVIL EYE/ITALIAN HORN NECKLACE

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY TOBI AND LOUISE & ELEANOR.

"THE TRUTH IS UNLESS YOU LET GO, UNLESS YOU FORGIVE YOURSELF UNLESS YOU FORGIVE THE SITUATION UNLESS YOU REALIZE THAT THE SITUATION IS OVER, YOU CANNOT MOVE FORWARD."

Moving sucks. You know it, I know it, we all know it. Hence, for my lack of social media posts and overall online activity as of late. I just packed up all my stuff and relocated to Union Square from the East Village, and even though the geographical change ain't too shabby, the process of any move can sometimes be overwhelming, let alone stressful. It can even trigger memories you've stashed so far in the back of your mind from many, many years ago. And because you guys have been so supportive of me opening up more on the blog lately, today's post won't be on how-to-move, or explaining the move, because who cares, really? Instead, I wanted to share with you more on my relationship with my father and my first-time experience moving... across the country.

I was originally born in the Los Angeles area but my time there was brief. As mentioned in previous posts, my parents fought like it was their full-time job. What made matters worse was the way they fought over me. Where to start? It all began with my father's tan Toyota truck. It wasn't anything special. It wasn't even brand new. But he and I rode in that thing everywhere. Anywhere he'd go, I'd follow. You know the arm rests that are located in between the two seats? I would sit right on top of the one nearest to my dad, just so I could literally be as close to him as possible.

During one summer afternoon when I was around 4 or 5 years old, my parents were fighting again when my father asked if I'd like to go for a ride in the truck. Little did I know it would be the longest road trip of my life. He had tricked me into thinking it was a quick trip to the grocery store. For three days straight, he drove from California to Michigan. All I really remember was the miles upon miles of the empty desert and spilling a glass of orange juice from McDonald's on one of the seats of the truck. I remember that accident quite vividly as I had never seen him get that upset before. I believe that was the first time I really started to see his true colors. It took me until my teenage years to finally realize how abusive my father really had been.

No, I was never physically abused. I once got hit a few times with a leather belt (let's just say I REALLY screwed up) but the kind of abuse I had endured was verbal; emotionally and mentally. It has taken me all my life to recover from this. I'm still working on it. I hate him for the damage he's caused. Not just on me, but on my mother, my brother, my estranged family... I almost want to say it's irreparable, but I also want to say I'm living proof that you can get through it. It can be pretty difficult, but with time, patience and the support from good friends, all wounds eventually heal. But just like a scab, you pick at it too long, it'll never have the time to repair itself back up.

Do I have issues with men & relationships now because of my father-daughter relationship growing up? Yes. I didn't have a father who was showing me right and wrong when it came to treating women. He not only verbally abused my mother but physically as well. And we're not talking some minor altercation where he's slapped her once or twice. (Which is STILL never f&%king okay!) We're talking throwing bows, even my mother chasing after him with knives and then some. All the while both of them screaming at me to call the police. I was just a kid and the idea of snitching on either of my parents, whom I both loved very much, was something I definitely didn't want to do. It was never about protecting them, but using me against each other. And therefore bringing guilt and shame into the situation. If I didn't call the cops, my mother would tell me I was a coward for not protecting her. If I did call the cops, which I did a few times, my father would tell me I betrayed him.

I felt like a rag doll being pulled from both ends through most of my childhood. And no matter what I did, I just couldn't manage (or so it seems) to ever be completely accepted by both of my parents. They were constantly competing for my love (i.e; "Do you know what your mother did? She couldn't love you like I love you if she could just leave you like that..." - "Did you know what your father did to me? Even my very own sisters told me not to marry such a monster...") Talk about toxic! I never knew what was completely true or somewhat fabricated.

But why stay together for over 25 years if it was all bad and nothing good? Well, I wouldn't say that either. My brother and I had the best birthday's, Christmas's, and every other holiday of every month because of my mother. She organized everything while my dad was the 'breadwinner' of the family. And even though we never had much, she made the best with what she had. And I truly miss those special occasions where she'd surround us with her warm, pure heart, making everything seem like it was going to be alright. And even though my father was far from perfect, he did manage to be present in my life, unlike some other father's I know.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, despite all the pain and heartache that can go on in any kind of relationship, know that it can't be all bad, and it can't be all good. And when it's like that, it's even harder to walk away from the toxicity, no matter how much you may love that person. I didn't become estranged from my father until my late 20s when I finally said enough was enough when he began to emotionally blackmail me with suicide threats for over three weeks straight. I stood my ground and told him I wasn't going to take any more of his abuse and that if he wanted me in his life, he'd have to get his life in order and be more present in his kid's lives. Unfortunately, we never got around to that.

The irony is the day he passed away was the day he finally was getting his life back on track. He has just left a job interview where he was hired on the spot, where while on his way out of the building, walking down the hallway, he suffered a massive coronary and died immediately after. I will always long to speak to him one last time, to reunite and tell him that even though he's caused so much hurt in my life, I still to this day will and always will love him. No matter what. Because love is about forgiving others and also, forgiving yourself. I still beat myself up for estranging myself from him because I know it hurt both of us too, but I had to do what was best for me at that given time. And I think he too, knew this deep down. So, don't burn every bridge you come across (even though some are meant to be burnt) because forgiving others is almost as powerful as empowering others or yourself. Without forgiveness, there is no compassion. No love. I don't mean to preach, but I've been thinking a lot about the best way to move forward, and to me, I think it all starts with the art of forgiveness.

LOVE & XX'S,

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Paint It Black

June 2, 2017

WEARING: TOBI TRENDY BLACK MIDI DRESS | ROSEGAL SILVER BEAD HOOPS | 
STEVE MADDEN LUXE BLACK OPEN TOE PUMPS

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY TOBI.

BEFORE I TOUCH DIRT, I'LL KILL YOU ALL WIT' KINDNESS... I KILL YA, MY NATURAL PERSONA'S MUCH WORSE.

Have you ever had a dinner where the food is really great, the ambiance is dope but the company in which you keep perhaps maybe not as much so? Sure not every outing I've ever been on has gone swell. But sometimes, the people I have to converse with (not saying many but there are a few...) makes me want to scratch my eyes out. And there are all kinds of factors to set in as well. First, do you have something interesting to talk about other than Instagram algorithms or how vapid the world has become, you included? Or are we going to go around the exact typical merry-go-round of shooting the breeze? Am I one not to give a younger person a chance to talk to simply because they don't fall into the same age category as me? Hell, no! In fact, I've gotten very close to a much younger gal who is like my kid sister. She is half my age, but wise beyond her years. Age is yet again nothing but a number. To me, it's all about emotional maturity. I have no trouble relating with an 80-year-old just as much as with a 17-year-old; so long as you're not a complete baboon with nothing to offer me except wasted time. No, I'm not saying no one has anything to offer because we all do. But what really counts is what you do with it and your time while you're here. And nothing irks me more than wasted time. Because you'll never get it back. Tell me a story, share with me your ideas, beliefs, and passions. Secondly, do you know that saying, where it goes something along the lines of being kind to everyone you meet because you never know what kind of battle they're fighting? Seems fair, right? Trust me as I live and breathe it, there are a lot of people who are not kind at all. And if you cross me or do something that's not in the 'kindness' category to me or someone I love? You're going to see the Detroit-side in me that most people never see. And it ain't a pretty sight.

I grew up right smack dab in the middle of Detroit. No, not Bloomfield Hills or Birmingham, not even Troy or Livonia. And my childhood was quite difficult. My parents fought like cats & dogs, and the I grew up always either being afraid or anxious. My father was concerned for me while raising me in Detroit. For one, I'm Asian (where there was literally a total of three Asian families within our entire community) and being petite, my physical attributes had a tendency to put me in vulnerable positions. I was bullied and ostracized until I left for college. And so, even at a very young age, my father taught me how to fight, both physically and mentally. A boxer in his early -teens, he may have instilled too much fight in me. Some of my closest friends have confessed to me that I can come across intimidating, carrying a full-blown "don't f*&k with me" attitude, even up to the point of looking like Lucy Liu's RBF. Which hey, this I won't take as a bad thing... ;)

Which I guess can be one of the reasons why people may find it hard to approach me, but I promise you this - I do not bite... HARD. Ha ha ha! All kidding aside, I'm not going to say I'm the easiest person in the world to deal with. So what is this Detroit thing I speak of? Well, it's amongst a number of things - pride, frankness, and grit. It's all about fighting for what you want in life and standing up for yourself and being fearless with the power of your own voice. I know where I come from and I know who I am, and once people do get to know me, I'd like to think they don't see me as half-bad. What gets me into trouble though is my curiosity and the disappointments people bring because I'm so hard on everyone, including myself. During the dinner I mentioned, in the beginning of this post, I had brought up the question to several bloggers/influences (whatever the heck we're labeled these days LOL) on why they had begun their Instagram in the first place since this is where most of us began as we fine-tuned our blogs simultaneously. The answers were shocking. One stressed validation, another money, and the typical answer - to connect with others. Okay, two of the three I can slightly understand. I too, use Instagram as a platform to connect and make a living, but my sole reason is to attempt to make an impact on other's lives with my creativity and words. I want nothing more than to get you to think and feel; to be inspired. To let you know you're not alone, that others are fighting just as hard as you are and that we're in this together. We will carry on because there is no other way. Because we have to.

Perhaps I don't relate to those who come from money and never had to work a day in their whole life, even though they sleazily act as if they do (eyes rolling, you ain't fooling anyone sweetheart!) don't tell me you earned everything on your own when we both know mommy and daddy still take care of you and your bills. I've been working since I was 12 years old and everything I have achieved so far in my life was honest hard-work. I give my blood, sweat, and tears when it comes to my creative outlets. I also do it for no one but myself. Seeking validation on a social media platform is NOT work, I REPEAT, NOT WORK! And stop complaining about your engagement rate not being high enough when you're not willing to put in the time and effort of displaying high-quality content, remaining consistent while maintaining some sort of discipline in this cut-throat, competitive industry. Sure an iPhone shot suffices from time to time, but if you're really trying to grow and aspire to be more than just basic #sorrynotsorry then I strongly suggest thinking outside the box, but especially reconsidering your strategy when it comes to quality over quantity. People will get sick and tired of just seeing you and your 'outfits'. Give me something MORE, dammit! Mic drop, I'm out.