To Speak or Not to Speak

May 5, 2017

WEARING: TBA DUSTER JACKET | RHODA WONG ASSYMETRICAL TOP 
ONEBUYE BLACK WORK STRIPES WIDE LEG PANT | THE LUXELLE SILVER PLATED CLUTCH 
FLOWER EYEWEAR CASEY AVIATORS | GUCCI BELT | MATT BERNSON MEZZA | THE 5TH BROADWAY WATCH

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY RHODA WONG, THE LUXELLE & THE 5TH WATCHES.

Yes, I'm a writer. But like my father, I have a tendency to bottle up my feelings. I have a really tough time trusting people. The only family I've got left is my brother and getting to know people can sometimes be exhausting, not to say that no one is interesting or beautiful but I have had many life experiences that few people will ever have to go through. I've been through it all, really. It can be difficult to relate to others on a personal or emotional level. And though I know I'm really fucking strong, I'm still vulnerable because I'm human. Sometimes the pressure cracks and like propane, I explode. But my new career as a content creator has given me the power to share my story and along the way, has helped me connect and be inspired by others. Just extremely incredible, talented people.

These life experiences have also taught me when to speak or not to speak. When I was younger, I was wilder and more naive. I had no problem telling it like it was, shamelessly giving a big F-U to your face while at it. But when you grow up, you (hopefully) mature emotionally and realize there are times and places for speaking up and when it's just best to remain silent. Even though I still can have a 'flare-up' here and there, even perhaps losing my temper, I've really learned to always be the bigger person, but hurt me or someone I love, I will verbally slaughter you before the real damage is even done.

And call it Korean pride, but I was also raised to never express your personal problems to anyone under any circumstances. It was a big fat no-no to my mother and she had that drilled into my head by the time I was in elementary school. Of course, this might explain my difficulty in also sharing certain parts of my life with others, but with what I do now, I feel like I'm slowly but surely making my way through sharing my emotions perhaps not always verbally, but through visual storytelling... the creative input... this means more to me than anything else right now. Thanks for tuning in this Friday! I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little better. Got questions? Thoughts from this post? Comment down below or drop me a message! Have a fantastic weekend, everyone!

LOVE & XX'S,

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OneBuye Black Work Stripes Wide Leg Pant

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To All the Ladies with Style and Grace

March 8, 2017

WEARING: CADIEUX SS 17 JACKET | UNIQLO HEAT TECH TURTLENECK |
SHOE DAZZLE FAUX LEATHER LEGGINGS | ANGELINA SHOETIQUE OTK BOOTS | 
BOOHOO MOCK CROC CLUTCH BAG | SHOPTIQUES ROSE EARRINGS

THIS POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY CADIEUX.

Happy International Women's Day! I could say the usual, such as how all women are beautiful, special and worthy of everything, etc.; but I'm not the usual kind. *WARNING* This post is not anger filled but brutally honest. Don't like what you read or see? Get outta my way. BYE.

There's a ferocious new trend-demic where women, but more so cliché-like cliques, that are parading around their 'love & support' for ALL women. Now, don't get me wrong. There are a ton of bad-ass ladies that are really about community and the idea of everyone getting their fair share of the pie with unity and togetherness, but then there are always the typical two-faced bitches (particularly in the blogger world) that are not only complete hypocrites, but also liars and manipulators and have no other motive than to cause drama because of their unhappiness and insecurities. Maybe they're not as terrible as it sounds because hey, I get it. We're all human. I'm flawed and complicated, and not in a light-hearted funny kind of way. But I'm in no way intentionally mean-spirited.

My closest girlfriends, which have been in my life for decades, can be counted on one hand. Why? LOYALTY. TIL THE END DAWG. We have been through so much shit in life I don't even know where to begin. I'm not talking about childish high-school breakups or fights with the folks, I'm talking about life & death situations. Loss, heartache, violence – our trials & tribulations were sometimes extreme and I really wouldn't have made it out alive if it weren't for my babes. And we didn't become friends because of race, social class, and other ridiculously atrocious reasons why some girls 'clique-ify' their way through life. It's the same type of girl who can't STAND being alone and always has to have a guy around. Seriously?

I don't need a pile of so-called friends to waste time shooting the shit with over coffee anymore. It's so mundane and it makes me nauseous just thinking about it. On the same note, it is crucial to network and to connect in New York City and also the world. It's not just about how hard you work to get towards that 'pie' but rather, who you know and what you can do for each other. Now is having coffee with any kind of friend, close/non-close a crime? Of course the fuck not. Yes, I continue to make new friends and they're all truly AMAZING but again life is so short and there will be very few people in the world that will deeply matter to you. And you to them. I'm not here today to engage in any kind of battle but I see what I see and I have the right to express what I want to freely. Dammit, I hate being a writer sometimes...

It's unnerving to continuously meet other bloggers who are not in this game for the right reasons. Sure, everyone has the right to go after whatever they want. I remember having a conversation with a 'part-time' blogger, and even though she wasn't doing it full-time, she thought anyone can become a blogger. That's like saying anyone can become a writer, a photographer and so on and so forth. BULLSHIT. It takes so much hard work, PASSION, dedication and discipline. It is by far the most challenging work I've ever had and I wouldn' have it any other way. And yes we 'all have to start somewhere'. You pay your dues, you learn & grow (I PRAY), and you work hard and be kind to people. BUUUUUUUTTTTT, that doesn't give anyone the right to make you feel uncomfortable about yourself. PERIOD. The second anyone, not just a woman, wants to treat you this way: DISENGAGE. Don't even give them the reaction that they're just dying to wait on. Pathetic. Let them get even more pissed because of your lack of care or effort on the situation.

To all my bad bitches, I LOVE YOU. I cherish our friendships and you all mean to me more than you'll ever know. Thank you for continuously inspiring me, supporting me, laughing with me and enjoying the good times with before they all fade away. To my loving followers, I may not have time to reply back to every single comment on social media every day, but I SEE you and I can never thank you enough for your encouragement and love to continue what I'm doing. Today is for you, ladies. Keep it real. Always. NOW, to all y'all weak-ass wannabes, I don't have the time playing checkers when I'm mastering my strategies at chess. Boom. Signing off. One Love.

LOVE & XX'S,

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Crop Top and Trench with a Side of Maroon

January 27, 2017

WEARING: SHOPFW RIB KNIT STRAPPY CROP TOP | 
MICHAEL KORS BLACK TRENCH | BDG HIGH-WAISTED JEANS | 
JILL-E DESIGNS SMART TABLET PURSE BERRY | HUNTER LACE-UP RAIN BOOTS | 
ESPERE DIAMOND PAVE WAVE RING

THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY SHOPFW, JILL-E DESIGNS & ESPERE JEWELRY.

First, I got to get something off my chest. I read a quote the other day. It said, "I have a bad habit of searching for beauty in beasts and forever in temporary people." Sure, nothing lasts forever. But dammit, I'm a die hard romanticist and just absolutely LOVE falling in love with people. Why can't it be forever always? Because most people you'll come across in your life aren't meant to be with you permanently. Meaning, the majority of people you know will not be there for you when you hit rock bottom and are at the end of your pitiful rope. Sadly but truly, from one human to the next, people are bound to disappoint you, and even worse, hurt you. (Grrrr face.)

Have you ever had such a connection with someone, one from the inner depths of your soul; one that was so strong, as if you knew them from a past life? Can be a lover or a friend. It's a rarity to come by these days and I've only experienced it a few times. But something always goes awry - you're just a passing distraction to one's amusement, or the timing isn't right, or somebody never follows through. Perhaps one grew easily tired of the other or it's just a fleeting moment/chance encounter. People drift apart and can change. I believe you meet everyone for a reason, though, and yes, it's all for the better because you LIVE and LEARN. My best relationships were all happy accidents.

Having a conversation over drinks with a new girlfriend this past week we discussed how important it was to us to have meaningful relationships in our lives. And no, not everything in life has to be deep and intense because you can't take life so seriously. It's true, you'll never get out of it alive. And not everyone you meet is going to shake you to your core (so to speak), but like many of you, I'm sure may feel, I miss my friends. Always. Old and new. What a fool to be bothered with such nonsense, right? Hardly. I'm a highly sensitive, emotional creature. And yeah, it does suck knowing that not everyone wants you to be happy. And yes, (yikes) many are there to either use you, abuse you... (Annie Lennox rolling through ha ha!) Most likely, though, 99% of the time it's because they're unhappy. I don't expect to be lifelong friends with everyone I meet, but to the special ones I've made especially this past year, I'm beyond grateful for you. Without you, I wouldn't have grown the way that I have, and this means more to me than you'll ever know. So, apologies for the semi-LONG rant (HEY, I'm first & foremost a writer so...) but thank you for continuing to inspire me and for always making me want more than 24 hours in a day.

Onward to what's going on in this look today! I'm showing you guys what I normally wear on a typical rainy day here in NYC, but given the mild temps and the fact that my abs got a serious workout at a boxing fitness studio the other day, (yes, I took my first boxing class!) I wasn't as shy to show some skin. :) This crop top from ShopFW is rib knit fabric and has a self-tie strappy midriff which gives an ultra-sexy feel to it. And it's really comfy! I styled the top with my usual rain boots from Hunter and Michael Kors black trench coat. Along with my most worn, and quite possibly, favorite pair of high-waisted skinny jeans to date, is the super cool and tech-savvy smart tablet purse by Jill-E Designs. It's great berry/maroon color is only the icing on the cake. Inside is a Joey Energy charger where you're able to charge your phone, tablet/laptop, etc. on-the-go! It even has a longer strap to make it a crossbody. I know this will come in handy come fashion week! And last but not least is the gorgeous ring by Espere Jewelry. It's such a statement piece and I love its shape and design. Perfect to sparkle up any gloomy, rainy day!

LOVE & XX'S,

SHOP THE LOOK

Michael Kors Black Cotton Trench Coat Ladies

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New York Fashion Week

September 21, 2016

Happy Hump Day, everyone! I'm excited to finally share with you my NYFW SS17 blog diary and all the experiences that came with it. I was delighted to receive invitations to more than a few shows and still relatively new to the blogging world, it was my first year to document my day-to-day life during New York Fashion Week. Let's take a recap of the shows I had the pleasure of attending, a few events, along with my outfits and trend-picks.

NYFW SHOWS

FASHION PALETTE

A Sydney and New York events production company, the Fashion Palette show consisted of 6 designers sharing the runway. All Australian Womenswear the designers included were Con Ilio, Cristahlea, Stephanie Chehade, Milanja, Homebodii, and Sui Generis. I truly loved each and every designer's collection but the dress that stole my heart was the pearl-beaded white dress from Con Ilio. It was heaven-sent. Any bride's dream gown! Take a look at the dress's back details here.

DAN LIU

An award-winning Chinese & Japanese Canadian fashion designer, Dan Liu presented color contrasts, embroidery details and tons of Parisian inspiration. Chic, elegant and with romantic flair, each seat came with a single red rose. Nice added touch to the overall concept! My favorite piece from his collection was the 'Purple Skyline'. A satin dress with short sleeves mixed with purple and green stripes, it is the perfect day-to-evening dress for fall. You can find it in the collection of pictures above.

LEANNE MARSHALL

My favorite show, Leanne Marshall is a whirlwind of a talent. Since her Project Runway win from Season 5, Leanne has captured an effortless grace and timeless elegance in her collection. I was completely blown away by all 41 looks of periwinkles, lavenders and orange colors. Let's not forget the pinks! Truly ethereal and refreshing, the fabrics from this collection have certainly put silk chiffon and organza back on trend! My favorite look was the final piece which was a tanzanite silk organza gown with long sleeves, chiffon bead and organza embellishment. This dress was killer!

KYBOE!

Bigger is better and Kyboe! had a massive show at the Skylight Moynihan Station. One of the largest shows I've ever seen in person, Kyboe! showcased their creative and stylish designed watches, which are inspired by the vibrant and colorful tulip fields of the Netherlands, as some of the most beautiful and fit models strutted down the runway! It was an innovative and fun show, the music had me gyrating in my seat! I loved the color-coordination scheme and overall playfulness of the show. I even received one of their watches as a gift! Check out the group watch shot above - mine is the black one. :)

ANNIESA HASIBUAN

What can I say about this show?! An Indonesian-inspired D'Jakarta collection, models wore hijabs for each look, clearly demonstrating uniqueness and the freedom in expressing other forms of style & beauty. Each detail is rich in culture. Brocade and pearls, sequin stones - all embodied glamour and elegance. Fitted for a Queen! I felt very honored to attend every show, especially this one as I grew up in a Muslim community where the familiarity was apparent and I was excited to see expansion in this creative world. A kind of cultural shift such as her designs will help break down stereotypes and demystify misconceptions of hijab in America. It was empowering and such a treat for my last show. Favorite hands-down was the final garment. Hints of gold and crystal, the model shimmered down the runway like a butterfly. Truly breathtaking!

EVENTS

HOT TO ADOPT FELINE FASHION LOUNGE AND ADOPTION EVENT

Hosted by Katie Cassidy and brought to you by Fresh Step, the cat-crazed event was a big hit! I love the idea of mixing a good cause such as adoption with the world of fashion. To check out more details about this event along with how you can help contribute to cat adoption, go to my latest post here.

SHOPSTYLE SOCIAL HOUSE

I really wanted to love everything about this event except there was one slightly BIG flaw. With only one person to help there were far too many people waiting in line just to rent clothes and accessories. Though there were a lot of brands and labels that I would have been happy to try, after waiting in line for over thirty minutes just to get past only about two feet, I had to leave due to another show I had to attend to. So sadly, I didn't get anything :( It felt like a loss of time, but the hors d'oeurves were smashing and the views from the Glasshouses were spectacular!

PLYMOUTH GIN PARTY

Need I say more? This was the perfect end of the week party to unwind with blogger friends and catch up after all the chaos from New York Fashion Week. I'm not much of a gin drinker, but after this event I think we will be getting along just fine. My favorite drink during fashion week was the classic Martini, but a little dirty. ;)

OUTFITS & TRENDS

RUFFLES

On Day 5 I wore an off-the-shoulder dress from H&M with ruffles. The extra movement elevates feminine elegance, making it more modern and edgy. To complete the look, I paired it with a Dress Lily Cross Body bag in periwinkle and a black wrap around choker with gold rings as finishing touches.

DENIM

Day 3 was literally the hottest day during fashion week. With 90+ degree temps, I still opted for an amazing Dress Fo denim wrap trench to wear for the entire day! Call me crazy, but all in the name of fashion! I saw tons of different textures and cuts with denim this SS17 season. From coats to chokes, to boots to two-pieces, denim is still in!

METALLICS

Day 1 I wore a metallic silver pleated top from one of my favorite stores, Mango. It's fresh and fun, dazzling up a casual outfit in no time! I paired the top with BDG mom jeans, a black velvet crop jacket, and nude oxfords. Check out the metallic belt I snapped away from Anniesa Hasibuan's show above! It's been trending for some time but metallics are here to stay!

PERIWINKLES & TANGERINES

These colors are hot off the runway. I've seen these color tones in almost every show. I had to share a few of the orange palette's from Leanne Marshall's show. Aren't they gorgeous?! And with a white jacket? Perfection. These colors are also flattering on many skin tones, so don't be surprised to see a lot more of these colors on trend for the next season!

This post is brought to you by Shopping Links.

LOVE & XX'S,

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Monstera Deliciosa

August 31, 2016

MONSTERA DELICIOSA, SELF-PORTRAIT SERIES, AUGUST 30TH, 2016.

When it comes to my work in self-portraiture I rarely if ever photograph myself in the nude, let alone publicly show any of the photographs. Self-portraits are not easy to do, in fact, it's the most challenging subject I have ever had. Well, so far... we'll see if that'll ever change. ;) But the more involved I become in the torrid affair that is - one with the camera, the more open I am in the relationship. When I first started 'dating' the camera, I was always so anxious to start clicking away. Now, don't get me wrong. I still get that feeling to this day. But there's a more calm formality to it now. With time and effort, a shitload of patience, and experience, I've learned quite a bit. But that shouldn't stop there. Never stop learning.

This past year has been all about taking risks, good and bad, perhaps even downright ugly when I come to think of it. But the more chances I've taken, the more rewards I've been given. Does it have anything to do with money? No. Vanity purposes? Not at all. To me, self-portraiture is all about the relationship you have with yourself and with the camera. To know oneself is to know many, in my belief. What better way to know how to photograph anyone or anything? No, not every photographer does self-portraits, and they shouldn't have to nor need to be a good photographer, but it's a wonderful path to self-discovery and in my opinion, one of the best forms of self-expression. Being first and foremost a writer, there are sometimes feelings... stories... concepts that I cannot put down in words. With photography being my other medium, it aids me in releasing vulnerabilities I didn't even know were there. 'A picture is worth a thousand words', and sometimes the image of a subject can convey its meaning or essence more effectively than a description does. I get the best of both worlds as someone in the arts. I'm very fortunate to be able to do what I do. And I never forget it.

Lastly, today I had the immense pleasure and honor of interviewing the wonderful Henry Leutwyler at his studio in downtown Manhattan. He is a wonderful photographer with a new book coming out this Fall that'll I'll be writing about on the blog! I can't wait to share my experience with Henry and his amazingly talented work. You are going to be blown away! Just utterly spectacular. I'm so excited about this story! Stay tuned... in the meantime I'm doing another recipe this week and step-by-step video! It's got a ton of avocados by the way..... :)