The Writer's Desk

I don't know about you but I am so glad it's a 3-day work week. Life has been busy and stressful, so the idea of a cook-a-thon of some of my most favorite eats is more than thrilling. Yes, I mean this in the most non-sarcastic way. It relaxes me. And by celebrating and giving thanks, though we should be thankful every day, it's always so nice to reflect during this time of year. Because we do have so much to be grateful for.

New York City is pretty chilly today. The perks of working from home as a writer and blogger has it's pros and cons, and I will still take a break and get out of the apartment. I'll go for a run or a walk with MaQ and some of his other dog friends, or grab something to eat, or just to people watch. These daily activities are constant but today, I don't know; maybe because it's awfully cold (supposedly these are normal temps for Nov, or is it? Can't keep track anymore thanks to global warming) or because in my mind it's already Hump Day, but it was one of those days where it felt like Sunday. A case of the Monday's if you will.

So I stayed in my Calvin's, or rather PJ's I guess, and wrapped myself up in one of my hubby's shirts, then went to work. Can't get cozier than that! Along with comfort, as a writer, I also need seclusion. Here are a few more of my daily essentials I always need at my desk - the writer's desk.

My Microsoft Surface Pro Tablet. This little guy packs a mean punch. I do all of my blogging, writing, research, editing, and even conference calls on it. It is vital in my every day life. Without out, I don't know how I'd be organizing my crazy life!

Paper. Lots of paper. Sometimes I'll use my trusty ole' typewriter, but it's for rare occasions. I use paper to jot down ideas, timelines, research/case studies, or just to make a checklist or to-do list of some kind, whether it's blog-related or a simple grocery list, as a writer, I've always been constantly around the stuff.

Music. Not just any type of music. If it's just getting the day started or building a rough draft of a blog post, I'll usually listen to what's new in the music world. I do, however, appreciate every genre in music. When it's time to buckle down and work on my novel, it'll always be a certain theme in tune with what I'm writing about. I have a deep passion for Classical music, but also go for original soundtracks or instrumental music. Lyrical music while trying to write a chapter doesn't work well for me.

Candles. Any time of the year, I adore candles. I think aromas and scents can set a tone or deliver a certain essence in the environment you want to create. Plus, they bring warmth and light to any room, which is always a good thing especially being a writer. We spend a lot of time alone! ;) All kidding aside, I have been using Yankee Candles since college. They're my favorite besides Diptyque.

My Leica Coffee Mug. We received this as a gift in our first year of marriage from a dear friend. I love the size because it holds more coffee than any other mug we own. A writer's dream, or rather, fuel to burn the midnight oil! Ha ha!

Greenery or Flowers. Visually they are pretty to look at. I write a lot about how to kill people. I need something that'll bring me back from those sometimes dark places. Plus it's the girly girl in me. Now older, I've become quite fond of plants and the idea of growth. It's also just another great way to style up your place without looking like you're trying too hard.

My i-Phone 6. I know... BAD idea to ever have a phone near you while trying to get some work done. But it's my way of staying in touch with the world. And I do give myself time intervals. Every two-three hours, depending how much writing I do, I'll take a small 15 minute break.

My Ray-Ban eyeglasses. What can I say. I'm getting older. I need these around me more and more. I'm near-sighted, so it's not a matter of not being able to focus at a close object but rather one that is at a distance. I leave CNN on mute in the background. I'm addicted to what's going on in the world because I think it imperatively matters. So, from time to time, I'll need them to see what's going on the TV screen. :)

I would've asked MaQ to join me in the photo but he was far too busy sunbathing closer toward the windows. I didn't want to wake up my angel bear. He sends is love though! <3

Have a short and happy work week everyone!

Love & xx's,

maQ + suz

Please Look After 엄마

Today is my mother's death anniversary. Both my parents, sadly, are deceased. My father unexpectedly passed away in July of 2013. I'm completely estranged from my only brother and any other family relative. With all the sickening, cruel, harsh news in the world this week, ranging from another earthquake in Japan to the devastating Beirut bombing, to the atrocious terror attacks in Paris, I find myself contemplating a lot about my family. This is supposed to be my flesh and blood but they've barely spoken two words to me in years. Aren't we supposed to come together, to strengthen our ties and support one another? This world leaves me more and more in doubt every single day. I see humans, but I do not see humanity. Where is the love? Perhaps, upstairs... are you watching over us? Because sometimes it really doesn't seem like it. Especially as of late. Are you with me? Are you with us? I am with you. I am with all of you. We are all valuable. Precious. Everyone counts and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I must; we must all keep faith in the Good and remain in the Light.

Exactly ten years ago today, I watched my mother take her last breath. The last thing I said to her was, "I love you." She died from stomach cancer, fighting a horrendous battle for nearly nine months when the doctors' prognosis was even less than that. Watching her deteriorate was such an utterly gut-wrenching experience. When she lost all her hair from chemo, she, so unwilling to lose the rest of her femininity, kept the remains of her hair in a Ziploc bag. She couldn't bring herself to throw it away.

A decade may have passed, but my mother lives on through me and my brother. Her fighting spirit, her courage, and our memories are forever instilled in us. No one can ever take that away. And so, with that, I am dedicating today's blog post with a letter written for my 'ma' (as I always have called her).

Disneyland, California, 1992.

My Dearest Ma,

I miss you so much. With each passing day, I miss you more and more. I still think about you every single day. A helpless feeling at times, you are constantly on my mind. I long to see your face again. To see your radiant smile which could light up an entire room, the purity of your heart could warm the bleakness of any stranger. I yearn for those sleepless nights of watching Court TV together all the while gossiping and laughing at the jokes we'd crack while snacking down on popcorn or GyeongDan hardcore. I deeply crave your home-cooked meals, the embrace of your soft, silk-like hands. Even all those cheesy, superstitious yet romantic Korean folklore tales; they were the best of stories. Hell, I even miss you yelling at me in Korean when I really got into trouble. And most of the time I was asking for it. I was difficult. And you were an angel. Still one. You're my guardian angel.

I would love to sit here and think you and Dad are immensely proud of me in all my successes/accomplishments, but the bittersweet taste of death resonates within even the smallest of victories, finding it meaningless and insurmountable in reflection to what is missing in my life; what really matters in life. Why did you have to go so soon? Are you taking care of Dad now that you've been reunited? How is Dad? I hope he is not too angry with me. I can't even begin to explain how much he missed you. When you died, he died right along with you.

Why can't I visit you and Dad in my dreams? Don't you miss me too? I hope you're watching over your son, who (I know you're very upset with the both of us) refuses to communicate with me. I have tried to reach out in every imaginable way and his message is clear. He wants nothing to do with me. Like the both of you, I'm also dead to him. This breaks my heart.

Perhaps it's because I'm far too much of a painful, heart-stricken reminder of what and who was lost. Being the spitting image of you and inheriting 100% of Dad's rock-n-roll soul, I'm sure it's tough not to link the two together. But I pray that we will one day find a resolution, and come to terms with our tragedies. I pray we see each other again soon before it's too late and one of us is lying on his/her death bed. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on to this kind of hope because quite frankly, it's eating me alive.

Remember when I was young and dumb and how ridiculous I felt about your 'jungle safari', as I called it? Well, I've got a lil' 'garden' of my own now. Lots of succulents, flowers and plants that aren't too difficult to maintain, and I may not have a green thumb, but I'm working on it! And with that, I've grown as a person too. I've learned to take better care of myself and I hope you can see all the vessels of my heart being out-poured to the world - that you did not die in vain.

You raised (I think) a pretty capable, strong-willed and intelligent woman. It is all through your love and dedication of being the best mother you could be. Thanks for giving me a really hard time and challenging me. I am such an individual today, with no fear of my voice and the power that comes with it. My one and only - the most important part of me, most often feels like it's the only thing I've got left. And I'm really okay with it. So, really, thank you for never giving up on calling me out on my bullshit and refusing to allow a daughter to grow up to become some punk kid.

I promised to you I wouldn't be sad, but at times my heart just aches from so many losses. But then I'll see a white butterfly. One time, two summer's ago, you brushed against my cheek with one of your wings, and I knew it was you. That warm, magnetic touch was palpable. I know your visits are infrequent and short, but I soak in every moment spent with you. And I look at my boys, knowing you must have had something to do with that too. Thank you for bringing Gilles and maQ into my life. Without them, I'm not sure where I'd be. Their unconditional love always reminds me of you. So very much.

I love you with all my heart and soul. I wish you were here to share with me in all of life's endeavors, but I know I will see you soon. Until then, please watch over everyone I love. Even the ones who have deeply hurt me. To the one who are filled with hate - watch over them more so. I will continue to pray for the world.

엄마 사랑 해요

Always Love (& xx's),

maQ + suz

Trick or Treat!

I WANT TO BELIEVE.

Happy Halloween everyone!!! Every year, my husband and I do our annual costume tradition where we come up with a different concept/theme. Last year, he opted out on playing dress up and only took photos of MaQ and I being Cowboy & Indian. But not this year!

Because I've been an avid fan of The X-Files since the tender age of 12, and the fact that the series is coming back this January (I can hardly contain myself), I knew we HAD to be Fox Mulder & Dana Scully! Do you likes our FBI badges? We even put our own photo in the badge, ha ha! Nerds... I have to admit- being a redhead is actually kind of fun! I'm digging the shorter-length, perhaps it's time for a haircut?

I went all out trying to capture Scully's essence as best as I could. I wore a cross necklace like she did throughout several seasons in the show, wore nude-colored pantyhose with black heels and everything!. Plus being an FBI agent is totally bad-ass. Come on, you know it is! And who got to be a little green man this year? Yep, MaQ the Martian, is out and about and on the loose! Lock your doors and hide your 'Samantha's' - we're coming for you tonight! ;)

Have fun and be safe trick-or-treating tonight. Check out all of our photos below, and remember...

TRUST NO ONE. And, THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.

Ha ha ha ha!

Love & xx's,

maQ + suz

P.S. No animal was harmed during this photo shoot. The guns are just prints on paper. :)

Inner Katie Girl // OOTD

WEARING: WET SEAL GRAY SLEEVELESS JERSEY DRESS | BERGDORF GOODMAN BLACK 

CASHMERE CARDIGAN | RALPH LAUREN RIDING BOOTS 

“Hello! C-C-C-Curly!!”

— Carrie Bradshaw

If any of you gals are huge fans of SATC, you'll know what I'm referencing to. How many of you are Katie girls? We're talking about the ones with that 'wild curly hair'. When I was in college, and also when SATC was still airing on TV, I had become quite infatuated with the character, Carrie Bradshaw's Boticelli-esque, ever-flowing ringlets. (Not to mention her all-around adorableness.) And I had begun a new hair cycle.

But I stopped doing this regularly because quite frankly, I don't have the time! It takes me about an hour to complete curling my hair! Sometimes I'll straighten it because it isn't as time-consuming as it is with the curling iron but for the most part I just leave my hair all-natural. Since I haven't really done my hair like this in many years, I was really in the mood to have some big hair today! What's even better? The morning-after hair! The curls will still be intact, but looser and more bedhead. Which is my favorite because it's carefree yet rebellious. What do you think of my curls? Are you into this style?

I have a confession to make on top of secretly crushing on Ms. Bradshaw. The cardigan I'm wearing from Bergdorf's belongs to my husband! It's my favorite cashmere piece and I'll admit that I stole it! He barely ever wears it because I always do during this season! Ha ha ha! It's so soft and comfortable, plus the lil' after smell of the hubs is always a plus.

I've had this jersey dress since I first moved to New York City! That's nearly 10 years ago! I love the versatility of it. You can wear it all four seasons and playing around to mix and match the dress with different pieces is always so much fun. I love that you can even wear it off the shoulder, making it a bit more romantic and sexy. 

Last but not least are the riding boots I'm wearing from Ralph Lauren. I love wearing these during the Fall. They pair perfectly with leggings, mid-skirts or dresses. Tights too! I love boots that aren't too high-heeled. I have a ton of running around to do and need something that won't kill me by the end of the day. I know some of you ladies only wear heels, and I have to say, I don't know how you do it!

Thanks for stopping by! I hope you enjoyed my outfit of the day along with my new C-C-C-Crazy do! ;) In case you're wondering, all photos were taken by me. Self-portrait, all the way baby!

We'll be back on Halloween, in costume! All 3 of us. Me, my boo, and my other boo, MaQ! I'm so pumped for you to see! I think it's gonna be a hit this year! Stay tuned... you're going to love it! Until then, check out my other blog posts on fashion & beauty, food recipes, photography, street art, and more!

Love & xx's,

maQ + suz

SHOP THE LOOK

A Day in Central Park

Last week's Fall Mini Session left me inspired to shoot more of this glorious Fall weather before everything becomes bare and brittle. Did I mention frigid? We lucked out yet again today, here in New York City, with 70°F+ temps. So, with my rollerblades intact and MaQ by my side, I ventured the nearly 3 mile-trip uptown to Central Park. The workout wasn't exactly easy, given the backpack I was carrying which included my camera, a change of clothes, my boots, treats, a large bottle of water, his ball, and then some! Phew! I would say it was about an extra 20 pounds on my back during the trek! To say the least, we did it and it was totally worth it!

Isn't that just a spectacular view?! I was so glad to visit there today. It reminded me why I live here again. The hustle & bustle of the streets; the competition, the raw honesty in it's purest form; the smells of every kind of food you can imagine; the beauty within the park; and those wondrous skyscrapers that can't help but make you dream big. Live big. Love big. This is my city and I'm so proud to call New York my home. It ain't always pretty, but it's undeniably f*cking real to me! So is life.

When we first entered the park, MaQ was really excited about the horses! I remember when my husband and I got married in Strawberry Fields he totally went bananas over 'em and desperately wanted to make friends. Regardless, he's quite the stud muffin, isn't he? Plus, Fall makes for the best pictures! And trust me when I say this folks, the foliage is looking pretty groovy at this point! Y'all need to go for a stroll before all the beautiful colors are gone!

I really wanted to do a nice Fall portrait with the both of us, so I brought my little remote and snapped away. The light is a little harsh, but I only have my distraction to blame from the magnificent beauty Central Park holds! It just makes you think you have all the time in the world, I almost forgot I wanted to photograph us! Ha ha ha!

I tried to take several shots in many forms of light. The park is perfect for that, at some point, (being a hardcore perfectionist) I wasn't ready to leave because it was just too enjoyable! But there are only 24 hours in a day and I only have a zillion things to do! I love the little lens flare from the light in the shot above. He looks like Rainbow Brite! Plus I'm still that young rebel who doesn't like to follow the rules so yeah, I like to shoot against the light sometimes. ;)

MaQ is adored everywhere he goes, like today when I was right in the middle of shooting (on a non-sturdy rock of all places) and this sweet maybe 12-year old Eastern European kid bravely walked up to me, and shamelessly asked if he could pet my dog. At first, I was kind of annoyed since he didn't seem to care that I was in the middle of trying to take a shot (of MaQ unleashed all the while), but when I looked into his piercing blue eyes, there was something so familiar and peaceful at the same time, I couldn't help but say yes. I wanted him to meet MaQ. And it made him so very happy, where it, in return, made me so happy!

We also visited The Pond, which is also where the first crime scene takes place in my debut novel, 'The Fisherman's Lily'. It's nice to go back to places where you've researched, and this being one of the very first chapters I wrote in the very beginnings of writing my book, I of course had to stop by and pay homage to my special place. I took a shot of MaQ on the bridge (right above The Pond) to encapsulate the feelings I had with the initials ideas of writing fiction many, many years ago.

Toward the very end of our photo taking, we played a long, rewarding game of fetch. We played out in an open field, and it was such a pleasure to watch him at full speed. I think the day completely wiped him out because he's been asleep for the past 5 hours! He really did a lot, so it's good he's resting. I seriously had the best time up there today! I wish we lived closer to Central Park, because we'd go there everyday!

We hope you enjoyed in taking a glimpse into our adventures! We love sharing them with you and the world. Would you like to do a Fall photo of some kind in the park? Please feel free to contact me about any inquiries you may have!

Thanks so much for reading! Please pass on & share! Happy Thursday! ♡

Love & xx's,

maQ + suz